(Closed) Long engagement bees

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you Aunt is probably coming from a place of love.  She doesn’t want you doing wedding things, god forbid the wedding does not happen.  It’s probably not what you want to hear, but I’m williing to bet she says it because she cares about you and wants to protect you from being hurt later. 

Post # 5
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@alyssaC:  I would just ignore it. I once had a long engagement and now the time is nearly up. It goes very quickly.

Post # 6
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Forget the judge-y relatives! I’m loving my almost 2 year engagement. I booked a bunch of stuff in 2012, which locked me in to that pricing even though we’re getting married in 2014. Booyah! I also bought a dress at the very end of 2012. It was discontinued, so it was cheap, and I love it. If I had waited, it would be gone and I would never have seen it. We’re also better able to save, and put down payments for different things at different times. Things are working out well! Any time I stress about money, I think “we still have a YEAR to work things out!”

Post # 8
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@alyssaC:  I wouldn’t let it get to you. You have every right to be excited about your wedding whether it’s tomorrow or in five years. My mom was the same way with me (FH and I will have been engaged for 42 months by the time we get married). She literally wanted me to wait until the last minute to do anything. I had to beg her to go dress shopping with me last month (good thing too, my dress won’t be in until August/September). Even now that we’re a year out, she thinks I’m rushing. Prices keep changing, usually going up, so I’d like to get most everything booked and taken care of now instead of waiting another 6 months and then trying to do it. The venue we want is super popular. My mom suggested not putting a deposit down until November. No. I went ahead and paid it because I wanted to secure my date. 

I just rambled, I know, but the point is people are going to have something to say no matter what you do. If you have a long engagement then you’re probably not serious and you won’t get married. If you have a short engagement then you’re probably pregnant or something. It’s crazy, but the point is you and your FH are doing what’s best for you and that’s what matters. There are good and bad sides to everything, and long engagements go by rather quickly. 

 

Post # 9
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Gees your aunt sounds a bit out of order on this one! So far I haven’t gotten any rude/annoying comments about our 2 year engagement, which is great, but my mom doesn’t seem that excited to talk to me about anything wedding related.. Although Future Mother-In-Law has, so thats great! Its great you have some people (ie your sister) that are not lecturing you on your waiting, so be glad you have them and forget the comments from everyone else!  

Post # 11
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We are at the start of a 3 year engagement. 

We are paying for everything ourselves, and this being his first marriage… he wants “the works” so we will need this time to save up!  I also have kids so I want (and need) ample time to integrate him into my situation. 

I’m realllly loving the whole ‘not rushing’ thing and just enjoying being Engaged. Cool

Post # 12
Member
9667 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@alyssaC:  date twin!

It sucks with the judgy comments about long engagements, I have been lucky in that all my family and friends have been very supportive, the only time I have come across negativity about it is here on the bee, but I just ignore it, although it does bother me. Just remember you are doing the right thing, and you have every right to be excited!!

Post # 13
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Wait until you’ve been engaged 6+ years and still don’t have a date. I am at the point now of calling Fiance my partner because as soon as I say the f-word, I get “when’s the wedding?” I don’t mention that I’m engaged at all and only say something if my ring gets noticed. Oh, and aquaintances that I haven’t seen for about a year always ask “anything happening yet?”

Tell your family to STFU. Just so you know, I’ve had my bridesmaid dresses, their shoes, and my shoes for over two years now. I knew if I didn’t buy them then, I wouldn’t be able to find them again.

Post # 15
Member
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

 

@alyssaC:  

 

OMFG I TOTALLY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!!!!!!!!!! Though my engagement was about 20 months ish, got engaged in may 2012 and wedding in feb 2014… 

 

seriously, everytime i get something done for the wedding, i get crticised for getting so ahead of myself. got my reception, ceremony and photo booked. Had a lady say to me “thats almost 2 years, you could be broken up by then” um. Wtf? Yes but we could all wake up tomorrow with cancer too but we dont say it because its an awful thought and so negative, we dont think that way!

Also!! I just bookd my photobooth and told my friend at work who is also comng to the wedding.. She goes “geez you wont have anything left to do, youll be so bored”

 

argh. But yeh, totes gets ya sister.

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