(Closed) Long Engagement Brides

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@GreenSkittle:  

When did you get engaged?: October 2010

When are you getting married/did you get married?: May 2013

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: We live 2000 miles apart, have established careers and we have a lot of logistics to work out before getting married. 

Pros of a long engagement: Time to plan, time to get used to the idea (I got engaged at 47, I was used to being single and needed time to adjust)

Cons of a long engagement: I wasn’t aware of any until I joined the Bee. It’s fine with me.

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Yes, see above. I was ready to commit to my Fiance for the rest of my life but needed time to get used to the idea of marriage.  Plus, my biological clock never bothered to start ticking (even when I was younger) so I am not under any pressure to conceive obviously. Also, I am not an impatient person so it is easy for me.

 Any other advice: time passes REALLY quickly. Enjoy it and for heavens sake, stop worrying about the length of time of your friend’s relationships, how quickly they got engaged or married after becoming engaged. It is not a race.

Post # 33
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
@GreenSkittle:  That’s a great way of putting it “pledged to be married.” I prefer that to actively planning a wedding.

Post # 34
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

When did you get engaged?: December 2011

When are you getting married/did you get married?: December 2013

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: We “felt” that we wanted a long engagement to take our time, we’d been dating since we were early in our highschool years until now (juniors in college), and we felt that we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend any longer and we were ready for that next step!

Pros of a long engagement: We were able to make and break so many decisions, we had the time and ability to change our own minds.

 Cons of a long engagement: I’m an impatient person as well, so the wait is excruciating!

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?: I would not recommend it to anyone, I’d say a year engagement tops. 

Any other advice: My advice for brides with long engagements would be to not focus so much attention on the entirety of the wedding, you’ll start booking things left and right and then before you know it everything is done and there’s a year to wait. No. 

Take your time! Set little to do lists every month. Give the big decisions a few months to ponder over — i.e my dress, I started looking into my dress over a year ago and I changed my mind several times, I bought it yesterday (yay!) and got exactly what I wanted, but also very different from what I thought — you just never know! 

 

Lastly, PLAN other things to do with your Fiance, LOTS of other things. Mr.Moore and I plan little events once a month that we look forward to, like camping in a few weeks! Or the plans of our summer. It helps the months go by so quickly because you’re bonding with your Fiance which is why you’re getting married — it’s building our marriage!

 

Okay, I’m done talking. I promise. Quitting now. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

 

 

Alright, just kidding, my other advice is to get EVERNOTE. Best note taking app ever — for iPhone & Mac. I have so many ideas and “boards” on their for myself and my Fiance can look at it too! You can pull things from websites right onto it.

 

 

The end.

 

Post # 35
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013
When did you get engaged?: October 13, 2011

When are you getting married/did you get married?: October 13, 2013

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: Even though we are fortunate to have parents who are paying for our major wedding expenses, we didn’t want them to get slammed with such expensive bills all at once.

Pros of a long engagement: There are tons! You have the time to research and get your top pick of choices for everything! Also, there are many financial benefits with regard to paying off vendors.  Also, we have taken the time to plan for our marriage (beyond the ceremony & festivities).

Cons of a long engagement: Storing wedding supplies is a total con! My home is bursting with wedding books, supplies, etc.

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?: Love it! It has enabled us to plan out the wedding of our dreams in a financially responsible way.  It has also given us the time to focus on other life goals.

Any other advice:  Enjoy your engagement! It is an awesome time in your relationship.

Post # 37
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

When did we get engaged? Fall 2012 (after 5 years together, btw). When are we getting married? We haven’t set the date, but we’re thinking 2014 or 2015. I don’t know, it could even be longer.

Pros of a “long” engagement? It’s our life and we’re not going to rush anything just because some people do it faster or some people consider it “long”.

Cons? We aren’t married yet… as a fiancee who cares about a marriage much more than a wedding, I wish we were married already! BUT, the anticipation is delicious!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Overall do I like having a “longer” engagement? Yes of course, that’s why we’re doing it!

Other advice? Do what’s right for you, don’t compare too much to others, especially for things like length of engagement. They aren’t living your life. It doesn’t apply to you.

Post # 38
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

When did you get engaged?: September 2010

When are you getting married/did you get married?: March 2014

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: We are both in school, FH wants a better job, Future Mother-In-Law passed away in 2012 and it’s been hard, my family originally wasn’t supportive so we weren’t sure what we were going to do. 

Pros of a long engagement: I’ve had plenty of time to plan and perfect small details. I’m an analytical person so it’s been great for me to have the amount of time I have had to make sure that I have all of my bases covered. 

Cons of a long engagement: I’m an impatient person so I wanted to get married a while ago. Waiting has been hard and most of FH’s family thinks we’re already married so they were kind of shocked to hear we had set a date.

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?: I’d say it’s about 50/50. I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my long engagement, but I’ve noticed that now that things are happening I’m more excited about it. I feel like maybe I wouldn’t have been as excited if I’d gotten married a while ago because I would have been so stressed out. Sure, I’m still stressed about things now but it’s much easier to deal with. 

Any other advice: Try not to focus too much on the time because it will fly by faster than you think. I absolutely hated it when people would tell me this, but it’s true. Now that it’s close it feels like I just got engaged. 

Post # 39
Member
6349 posts
Bee Keeper

When did you get engaged?: 4th February 2011

When are you getting married/did you get married?: 2nd August 2014

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement? When we got engaged, I was 3 months into my MA, with plans for further postgraduate study (either a teachng course or PhD). I am now 6 months into my PhD, and so money is tight. My parents are financing most of the wedding, but we are still contributing around $5000, and we will also be moving in together for the first time after the wedding, and need another few thousand $ to do this.

Pros of a long engagement: I’ve found the planning process fairly relaxed and stress-free, as we have plenty of time to research our options and make decisions. We also got a good deal on our venue as we booked in 2011 and they agreed to give us 2011 prices for 2014.

Cons of a long engagement: We have been together a long time, and it can get frustrating waiting so long for marriage, as we’ve felt ready for it for some time now. I also get fed up of people rolling their eyes/laughing or exclaiming when we tell them our date; even now, with 17 months to go, we STILL get comments about how ‘organised’ we are!

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?: I’m ambivalent about it; I don’t really mind either way.

Post # 40
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

When did you get engaged?: 6 July 2012

When are you getting married/did you get married?: Spring/summer 2015 (tbc)

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: We got engaged while we were travelling in Australia and only got ‘home’ a month ago.  We plan to work for a bit before spending 6-ish months in New Zealand later this year, then come home and work again then plan the wedding…but are going to book the venue/date etc in the next few weeks!

Pros of a long engagement: Lots of time to plan, get ideas and make sure that the day is exactly what you want.  I think if I’d started planning as soon as we got engaged I would have ended up with the big, white, princess wedding you dream of when you’re 5….actually taking the time to think about it and do some research, I’ve realised that’s not the kind of day I want and it’s not what suits ‘us’.

Cons of a long engagement: I love planning and am soooo excited!

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?:  I definitely like having a long engagement, I’m super organised and love looking at all the ideas and still having the freedom to be able to change my mind.

Any other advice:

Post # 41
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2014

When did you get engaged?: January 1, 2010 (got my ring in October 2010)

When are you getting married/did you get married?: The plan was for July 13, 2013, but we recently decided to postpone our wedding…aiming for possibly April 2014.

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: He proposed halfway through my sophomore year of college, and I wanted to wait until after I graduated to get married. Also, I had no desire to plan a wedding during student teaching. The plan was to get married about a year after graduation.

Pros of a long engagement: He proposed to me after five months of dating. I had an instinct to say yes, but wanted to make sure I had A LOT of time to make sure it was the right decision. I also want to live together before getting married, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that if we got married while I was still in school. We still aren’t living together, but we will be before the wedding happens (this is a reason why we postponed it). I just think there’s no reason to rush into it when I’m so young. A long engagement has helped me know what I’m really getting into. Also, I can take a lot more time to plan the wedding instead of stressing out about all the details at once.

Cons of a long engagement: There have been times where I’ve felt impatient. Mostly because, we live an hour away from each other and we only see each other on weekends, and I’m just ready to start our lives together! Plus, my friends have talked nonstop about my wedding since I got engaged, and I feel awkward about my wedding always being brought up in conversation when it has always felt so far away. And two of my grandparents died in the past year and obviously it’s going to be sad when they’re not at my wedding ๐Ÿ™

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?: I feel it’s the right decision for us. My education was a priority, so there was no way I was going to plan my wedding when I needed to be focused on my schoolwork. And now I appreciate having the time to figure out when I really want. And maybe I’m still trying to figure it out…but it’s okay because I have time!

Any other advice: It really does go faster than you think. It’s like I blinked and then it was like, whoa it’s the year of my wedding already! Which turned out to be a bummer because we found out we weren’t financially ready to get married yet, but wow did it come up quick. It’ll be sooner than you know it. 

Post # 42
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ok– I’ll play ๐Ÿ˜‰

When did you get engaged?: July 2010

When are you getting married/did you get married?: October 2013

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: We knew we were going to have to pay for it ourselves and needed to save $$.  Not to mention, we both wanted to be stable enough at our current jobs (the Fiance and I were both hit hard when the economy crashed in 2008)

Pros of a long engagement: Having the time to really know what you want –and to truly envision the wedding of your dreams!

Cons of a long engagement: with Pinterest and Etsy, it’s easy to get confused with all the wonderful ideas. 

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?: Yes, I do.  Its stress free because of all the time to look for venues, the dress (THE DRESS!), interview vendors, etc.  You definitely will KNOW what you want and don’t want!

Any other advice: try to read up on everything! from invitations to yelp reviews about potential vendors.  Yelp & Wedding Wire were my best friends– read up on photographers, photobooths, DJs! You get an idea too on how much each vendor should be charging and you will know if you’re being overcharged

Post # 43
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Yay, I love surveys!

When did you get engaged?: April 2011

When are you getting married?: September 2014

Why are you having a long engagement?: We are too busy travelling the world at the moment.

Pros of a long engagement: You have lots of time to plan so don’t have to get stressed about things

Cons of a long engagement: People nagging about you having such a long engagement

Overall, do you like having a long engagement? Why?: Yes, it suited us

Any other advice: All brides-to-be want to jump straight in and start planning things as soon as the ring is on the finger. Just take it slowly, your Fiance will really appreciate this as well, not hearing about the wedding every day for 3 years! Things will change over the course of your engagement, such as the dress style, or the colour scheme. Just don’t rush into booking/buying things too soon as your taste may change closer to the time. Just get all the information together and then once it’s time to actually start booking things, maybe a year or so prior to the wedding, if you still like that particular dress or venue great! But if you’ve found something you like even more, at least you are not tied down to anything that you rushed into and bought 2 years ago.

Just enjoy it! You two will be together forever… there’s no rush.

 

Post # 44
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

When did you get engaged?: July 2010

When are you getting married/did you get married?: June 2012

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: We wanted time to save money (didn’t go into any debt for our $30K wedding and 9-day honeymoon) and we wanted to finish school (graduated in May 2012).

Pros of a long engagement: Lots of time to plan. Checked out lots of venues, met with several photographers, looked for what felt like YEARS for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses I liked, read EVERY bridal magazine ever published and found millions of blogs online. As the song goes, time is on your side. You have plenty of time to really make sure you’re getting what you want, which will help eliminate regret. And, you can wait for annual sales. I got my jewelry half-off on a Black Friday sale, and once I found stuff I liked, I just waited for it to go on sale. I also had plenty of time to lose weight. 

Cons of a long engagement: I too am impatient. If wedding stuff if driving you nuts, focus on school. If school is aggravating you, focus on wedding. It’s a good trade-off.

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?: It wasn’t stressful at all. I would have hated to try to put everything together in any shorter amount of time.

Any other advice: Enjoy! After you get married, there’s no more wedding planning (but there’s always the Bee)!

Post # 45
Member
3552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

When did you get engaged?: December 2012

When are you getting married/did you get married?: August 2014

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: We just graduated from college last May and are trying to get out feet under us first. We also want to get married on our 8th anniversary.

Pros of a long engagement: We’ve got lots of time to save some money. I’ve been able to book my first choice vendor for everything so far. It’s been super easy because I look at a vendor after researching online and every one of them has been open on my date so I don’t even have to go look at my second choice. I feel like I have plenty of time to plan and bounce ideas around without getting stressed. Also I want to try to grow my own centerpieces, so I have a practice summer to try it out. Oh, and I can get down to my ‘wedding  weight’ before I even go dress shopping, so I won’t have to guess on my dress size because I’ll already be the right size for it.

Cons of a long engagement: Haven’t noticed any so far, except that I wish is was practical for me to go dress shopping a bit sooner than next winter:P

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?: I do like it because I think our timing is right for us, and I’m enjoying being engaged. I like having the time to plan and to make sure that my ideas are really what I want.

Any other advice:Focus more on your relationship than the wedding, it’s going to last longer.

Post # 46
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

When did you get engaged?: April 2011

When are you getting married/did you get married?: November 2013

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: We moved countries and bought an apartment and, of course, to save. It was a trade-off- we could have had a short engagement but wouldn’t be as financially stable as we are now.

Pros of a long engagement: It was that we were able to purchase our first home in a new country and we can pay for our own wedding ourselves without going into debt. and live very comfortably.

Cons of a long engagement: Waiting is hard as I’m an impatient person as well. However, if you want to have the wedding you’ve always wanted, and are waiting in order to save for your wedding, it’s worth it!

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why  not?: I didn’t necessarily ‘enjoy’ it. But at the end of the day, I’m 23 and own my own place, have a brand new car and live very comfortably. Our wedding isn’t going to put us into debt and once it’s over, we’re starting our marriage on a solid foundation. I’m finally getting married this year and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Any other advice: Focus on the reasons you’re waiting. In the end, you will be married to the love of your life and best friend. It’s hard to see it now, but it will happen. And you’ll be glad you waited. Also, it give you LOTS of time to figure out what you want and change your mind a million times before you’re sure (and before you’ve put any money into it).

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/long-engagement-brides-1#ixzz2Mb4OOvW4

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