(Closed) Long Engagement Brides

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

I know this thread is over a year old, but I was searching for threads on long engagements because I am having one…and decided to chime in ๐Ÿ™‚ I know I can’t be the only one!

Got engaged: December 2013

Wedding date: Exact date still TBD… but most likely September 2016 (possibly summer, if we can swing it)….so 2.5-2.75 year engagement!

Why: Major reason….finances. My Fiance will be finishing up his dual major bachelors program in May 2016 and we wanted to give him time to finish and get settled in a job. By that point, I will also have had a few more years in my career, my BSN loans and car loan will be mostly paid off, so I can cut back on my work hours and pursue DNP school. My Fiance is using his GI bill to pay for his schooling, so he will have no debt ๐Ÿ™‚  Another reason–due to my friends’ weddings taking up my next two summers, I would have had no time to plan my own! All of them except one had long (1.5-2+ years) engagements, as well so I don’t feel weird about it.

Pros: I’m happy to have a ton of time to find exactly what I want. Four of my friends are marrying this summer/next summer and I am in three of the weddings so I will be able to see what they choose and get inspiration! Also my Fiance and I will be able to save and have a very nice wedding (my parents will also be helping). If we stick to our budget, we will have the wedding paid off a few months early, even.

Cons: It seems SO FAR away! It’s a little disappointing to be helping my friends plan their weddings and know that I won’t be able to start planning my own for at least a year. Other than that, I don’t really see any cons. I’m still in my mid-20s, and will be 27 when we marry (FI will be 32), so I feel like that is still very young and we can enjoy a year or two married before having children.

Overall, I think I will enjoy having a long engagement. It fits our situation.

Post # 47
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

When did you get engaged?: November 2013

 

When are you getting married/did you get married?: June 2015

 

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: Because I am still finishing my B.A., Because it gives us time to spread out paying for the wedding; because I didn’t want to have to do the majority of the planning during student teaching; because I wanted to ensure that time was not a limiting factor

Pros of a long engagement: We secured the ceremony and reception venue that we wanted (our first choice date was booked before we arrived). We have time to spread out paying for the wedding. Most vendors are still available for our date.

Cons of a long engagement: I am impatient. I told myself that I would put off further wedding planning until at least this summer, and I can’t stop myself from researching and planning. I need to though.

 

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?:So far

 

Any other advice:Shop around for vendors. You have time, use it!

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Post # 48
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016 - Chateau

You’re almost down to 2 years now! I hope you havent bitten your nails down to the cuticles waiting! I’ve only been engaged 6 months and I have almost 2 years to go, its already hard ><<br /><br />When did you get engaged?: September 2013

 

When are you getting married/did you get married?: July 2016

 

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: I just started my masters degree and would like to finish it before the big day! We are also broke since we are students and we are planning a destination wedding to the Caribbean, so we wanted to give our family a lot of time to decide if they could come or not!

 

Pros of a long engagement: No stress planning ๐Ÿ™‚ I have started a few DIY projects and decided “nahhh not for me” and I don’t feel stressed changing bits of my wedding. I can also lose the weight I want haha.

 

Cons of a long engagement: I am so ready to wear my dress! Very impatient for our Holiday/wedding.

 

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?:<br />I would have preferred a shorter one, but hey, mine is great too ๐Ÿ™‚ 

 

Any other advice:

None really, all I have done is bought things bit by bit…

Post # 49
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

 

GreenSkittle:  

When did you get engaged?: December 24, 2010

 When are you getting married/did you get married?: September 13, 2014

 Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: I was in school for 3 years

Pros of a long engagement: So much time to plan everything out so when you you are actually ready to book things/make things (DIY) its a quick process

 Cons of a long engagement: Some people change their minds on things they pick out, Bridal Party changes (so don’t pick your party too early but give em enough time to save for attire to wedding). Waiting! 

 Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?: I don’t mind the long engagement, maybe because I was in school and kept busy all the time. Now that I’m almosy 5 months away, times just flying by and will be here before I know it 

 Any other advice: Make sure you find out what books up fast in your area to avoid disappointment such as venues/photographers etc. Review ALL contracts carefully befores signing 

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Post # 50
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

When did you get engaged?: Without a ring July 2013, with engagement ring March 12, 2014

 

When are you getting married?: August 22, 2015

 

Why are you having a long engagement?: Because I want a summer wedding but did not want it this year. Since my Fiance is paying for everything we aren’t too rushed and have financial wiggle room.

Pros of a long engagement?: Already having your wedding pretty much planned out! (thanks Pinterest!) Financially better off, already have vendors picked out.

 

Cons of a long engagement?: Keeping it a secret, and not being able to go crazy wedding planning right away, until it’s the real deal and u can start planning. Impatience to get married.

 

Overall do you like having a long engagement? Why/or why not?: I have actually, I would of went in a different direction had i had gotten married this year like how I originally planned. I am happy we waited and I feel like the vision and taste have gotten better! ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Any other Advice?: Work on your relationship before you start the wedding planning process. It builds a stronger foundation so u can build your marriage on. Don’t go for the very first dress you try on. Try several at different salons and go with what flatters your figure. Remember timeless looks never go out of style. and you can’t please everyone. always pick your feelings over other’s (except your FI)

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 51
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

When did you get engaged? June 2011

When are you getting married/did you get married? July 2014

Why are you having/did have a long engagement: We just turned 19, fresh out of high school and we were about to start university so we didn’t want to jump into marriage. Plus the proposal was a complete surprise, no waiting or wanting of getting engaged so I didn’t have “wedding fever”. However, it was suppose to be a 4+ year long engagement, but last march we moved it up a year.

Pros of a long engagement: Time to save money

Cons of a long engagement: People think having a long engagement means you can start booking early/getting things early and is less stressful, but I don’t think it’s very true. I tried to book things years in advance but (in my city anyways) places wouldn’t book that far in advance and you run the risk of changing your mind later on. I really only started seriously planning about 16 months before the wedding which is closer to the typical engagement period. So I think there is just as much stress as a shorter engagement. Also the excitement of being engage wears off and I think it makes it seem less real when the wedding date does approach. I’m currently 3 months away and I still don’t feel like it’s really happening. The dilemma of how to introduce your SO you don’t want to just say boyfriend/girlfriend, but fiance is such a stupid word haha. Having to wait and wait and wait. In hindsight I think the time has gone by fast espcially since we started really planning, but in the time it feels rather slow. AND during your engagement there will probably be a lot of people getting engaged and married before you, and no matter how irrational it is, it might sting a little bit haha

Overall how do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not? Even though I have a lot of cons listed now that I’m in the last few months, looking back the engagement went by pretty fast, but it was also because I was very busy with university/family/friends and other things, I definately wouldn’t change anything!

Any other advice? Be patient! And really try to not even focus on the wedding until your a year and a half away. Planning a wedding for 3 years straight gets really boring, and you will just change your mind a million times anyways, so just be engaged but focus on more important things and don’t get caught up in all the planning and stress. Good luck (:

Post # 52
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I didn’t even realize how old this thread was until now!

Post # 53
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

When did you get engaged?: April 2013

 

When are you getting married/did you get married?: January 2015  (20 month engagement)

 

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: We originally planned to get married in January 2014 (so 8ish months after we got engaged) but had issues with the venue, so we re-scheduled for January 2015 at an amazing new venue.  We also bumped up the size of the wedding from under 30 people to over 100.  

 

Pros of a long engagement: More time to plan, easier access to higher quality venues and vendors, especially in a large city.  I feel like we’ll have the best of both now but with the shorter 8 month engagement we would have had mediocre ones at best.  

 

Cons of a long engagement:  Waiting for the wedding!  

 

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?:  I’d love to already be married, and it would help with a lot (travel, housing, etc), but as far as wedding planning goes I’m loving the extra time to do inspiration research!  

 

Any other advice:

Don’t worry about it too much, the wedding will be here before you know it.  

Post # 54
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2016 - Church in Shedd Oregon

When did you get engaged?: Months ago but the official engagement is still pending.

 

When are you getting married/did you get married?: January, 21, 2016

 

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: Financial reasons. We’re paying for the wedding ourselves and want to have it in las vegas with all of our families. 

 

Pros of a long engagement: You have plenty of time to decide on what you really want! No rushed decisions needed. 

 

Cons of a long engagement: impatience. 

 

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?: No, I hate it and I wish I could just elope and get it over with. I also know that if I do, do that i’ll regret it for the rest of my life so maybe i’ll jsut keep waiting…

Any other advice: People tell me that the time will fly by. IDk i hope it does for the both of us!

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Post # 55
Member
69 posts
Worker bee

When did you get engaged?: 

Officially, October 2013

When are you getting married/did you get married?:

No date set yet. But the earliest is  Fall of 2017.

 

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: 

I am about to start law school and Fiance is starting med school next year.

 

Pros of a long engagement:

We don’t have to stress about wedding planning.

 

Cons of a long engagement: 

It’s getting really sad to see people who started dating after us getting married and already having kids 

 

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?:

I HATE it. I am impatient, so that doesn’t help. By the time we can even consider getting married we will have been together for 8 years. BLAH.

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Post # 56
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Northern Territory, Australia

When did you get engaged?: 

May 2, 2014 – on our 4 year anniversary.

When are you getting married/did you get married?:

July 2017 (38 month engagement)

Why are you having/did you have a long engagement?: 

I have one year left of law school and then need to complete 6-12 months of my graduate diploma on top of it. And then we want roughly 6-12 months of working to save and plan without any Uni to worry about.  We are also still young at 22. 

 

Pros of a long engagement:

We don’t have to stress about wedding planning while I am studying.  

Cons of a long engagement: 

Everyone else getting engaged and married before us in the time span of us being engaged. Knowing the vendors we want but not being able to book as it is still 2.7 years away! 

Overall, do you/did you like having a long engagement? Why or why not?:

I go through periods where I love it as I don’t have to worry about it while studying but then (like now) I have two months off where I have a tonne of time to look at wedding stuff and yet can’t officially book anything yet. 

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