(Closed) Long Engagement ok?

posted 5 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

Your situation is almost exactly the same as mine. My fiance and I also won’t be getting married for 3-5 years, once we’ve both finished our degrees. IMO its completely fine to have a long engagement, as long as you both want to wait I don’t see why it would be a problem!

Post # 3
Member
10541 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

My Fiance and I were together for 7 years before getting engaged because we didn’t want to be engaged for years because, to us, it seemed pointless to get engaged if we weren’t ready to start planning a wedding. Our engagement will be 13 months and I still feel like it’s too long!

That said, every couple is different and you should do what works for your and your BF. If that means being engaged for a few years then go for it!

Post # 4
Member
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

My Fiance and I are both in college as well and we’re having a 2 year engagement. Although it’s not nearly as long as 3-5 years, 2017 worked out best for us. We currently go to college in our home state and wanted to have our wedding here as well. My Fiance doesn’t graduate until 2018, but we will be moving across the country the summer after he graduates and there’s no way we were gonna have a wedding that same summer. So we ended up going with 2017. Life happens in different ways for different people and sometimes a long engagement is what’s best for a couple. If you live in a larger city like I do, the popualar venues often book 2 years in advanced (thats what ours did). If that’s the case, you could be planning in 1-3 years. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Country Cottage and Gardens

I got engaged in December of 2013 and the wedding isn’t until June of 2017. When we got engaged, I was preparing to move to Boston the next summer for grad school so it just wasn’t financially feasible to get married that quickly and I also didn’t want to rush the planning. Then it just was too much to try to get engaged while I was in school. I’m glad that I waited because now I’m in the position to really start saving and I’ve had all this time to really think about what details I want.

Post # 6
Member
3869 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I think a long engagement is fine. SO and I have a date picked that’s a little over 2 years out. There are a number of things we want to cross off our checklists (as a couple and individually) before we get married so a long engagement just makes sense for us. Do whatever works best for you. 

Post # 7
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

It seems totally normal for a couple to wait to get married if they’re trying to complete major life milestones like finishing college first.

I know some people question the purpose of a long engagement but I think if you’re serious about being together for your whole lives through marriage then the 3-5 year engagement is just an expression of that serious commitment and you can make the decision to get engaged anytime. I don’t see how it should matter.

Post # 8
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We will have been engaged a year and a half when we get married. It feels like a long time lol

Post # 9
Member
9830 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

We have been engaged for over four years now, still no wedding date set in stone! If I could do it over, I wouldn’t have such a long engagement. Friends have met, started dating their SO, got engaged, married and had a child all in the time Fiance and I have been engaged! Although I like being engaged and having that level of commitment, it is hard when we are still so far off after so long being engaged!

I agree with gettin_married, engagements aren’t just about planning the wedding so it’s definitely not a problem to have a long one in my eyes! They are an extra level of commitment in my opinion, not just a stage to plan a wedding!

Post # 10
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

View original reply
mssunnyz:  My engagement will be about 2 1/2 years.  I am in grad school and I want to be done with school.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with a long engagement.  Do what is right for you and your Fiance.

Post # 11
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

There’s nothing wrong with a long engagement. Fiance and I would have been engaged almost 2 years by the time we get married. However, be prepared to hear “when are you getting married?” many times, people asked us almost immediately after telling them we were engaged!

Post # 12
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018 - Leu gardens, orlando

we’ve been together 15 years when we got engaged and it will be at least 3 and a half years before we get married.

I’m not worried bout how long it will be-just happy it will finally happen lol

Post # 13
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I actually think that sounds perfect for your situation! Congrats by the way! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Miami

 

View original reply
mssunnyz:  I personally would not have wanted a long engagement. Instead we dated for 6 years and then had a 12 month engagement. But everyone is different. My advice though would be to have a clear picture of when you do plan to get married. 3-5 years is a pretty wide spread and leaving it so vauge will mean you’ll have to down the road have another convo about “sooo… wanna start planning??”

I think a long engagement makes more sense when there’s a clear timeframe. Example, my brother is in the middle of a two and a half year engagement. When he proposed, his fiance still had two years of a PhD program to go and she really wanted to be finished before getting married, and then they’re waiting a few more months after that because they really want a winter wedding. But ever since they got engaged in May 2014, their plan has been to get married in December 2016 (they just started planning finally — yay!).

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by  LaHormiga.
  • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by  LaHormiga.
Post # 15
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

By the time that me and my Fiance get married we will have been dating for almost 8 years and engaged for almost 3. I don’t want to get married till after I graduate college but we also wanted that commitment and knowing we were going to get marreid. I love being engaged the only thing that sucks is planning a wedding knowing its so far down the road. But everyone works at their own pace and it makes planning easier!

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