(Closed) Long Engagement ok?

posted 5 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

By the time our wedding arrives, me and Fiance will have been engaged for 7 years and 9 months. We’ll have been together 10 years all in all. We’ve had the ‘are you ever going to get married?’ comments but honestly, now is the only point we could financially do our wedding so sure, it’s been a long wait but it is what it is.

Some people have a long relationship then a short engagement, others have it the other way round and of course, there are those who have long/short both. For me, our engagement was a step forward, us saying that we were both fully committed and that at some point, we will be getting married. If you both feel ready to take that step go for it and enjoy your engagement for however long it will be. If anyone asks, just be upfront and tell them that you’re in no rush but you’re headed in that direction 🙂

Post # 17
Member
18 posts
Newbee

I am in the same situation, and I think it is becoming more common, but depends on the couple. I say go for it, but wait a bit to start planning so you don’t end up changing your mind and over thinking!

Post # 18
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think for your situation that is a good idea.  It can’t hurt to wait just a few more years.

I will warn you, do not start planning just yet.  3-5 years is still a long long long way off.  I have two close friends who had 2 and 2.5 year engagements respectively and I remember they kept on adding things to their weddings…both ended up going over budget because they kept on changing their minds and wanting to add more things to their weddings.  You only really need a year to book things/plan.

Post # 19
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Mine will be 2 years and 3 months. I already have everything planned, it’s achingly slow for me. But my family have to come from UK to Australia so I have to give them enough time and us to save up, I don’t see how we could have done it sooner. It’s your engagement, you do it how you want to 🙂

Post # 20
Member
39 posts
Newbee

A long engagement is fine! Especially when you are so young- it makes a lot of sense to wait until you are finished school and wait until you need to.

However also think about whether or not it is LEGALLY advantageous for you to get married- you both know you love each other and you will marry- love is only one aspect. MArriage is a legal bond that might help when doing taxes, working/travelling, getting benefits, etc. Similarly, it might be legally advantageous to stay single (perhaps your family has a business you are part of or a nonvoting member).

Your love is what it is. But marriage is a legal bond. I wouldn’t get married if it weren’t for family expectation, ease of legal issues for children, accessing family healthcare benefits etc…

 

(my own engagement will probbly be 2 years. Waiting to finish school; waiting to have enough money to plan a proper wedding, the only reason I didn’t want to wait longer than 2 is because I pretty much want kids very soon).

Post # 21
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I don’t have a problem with it, per se, but I think I might take it less seriously, in a way, if the engagement extends beyond maybe two years. It’s a much bigger deal to say that, “We’re getting married in a year, it’s imminently forthcoming,” versus “We know we’ll get married someday.” I think many couples exist in the latter timeframe for some time, and it’s when they’re really ready to go through with it that they consider themselves to be engaged. So maybe just semantics?

Post # 22
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

My guy and I are planning on getting married in 2020 after a five-year engagement. We’re in a little bit of a financial funk right now and he wants to make sure we’re taken care of. I was insecure about being engaged for such a long time for a little while but I got through it because I know he’s committed, we already have a life and a home together, and in my generation engagement is basically becoming the new marriage. So whether we get married tomorrow, five years or 20 years from now I’m happy. 

Post # 23
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m giong on three years. Now it might get pushed back 4.

Such is the way of life!

Post # 24
Member
770 posts
Busy bee

I am getting engaged in June (SO is military, I am in school, I know because it is the next time he will be home and I am not a huge fan of surprises anyways) and I graduate college in May 2018. We are waiting until then to get married for legal reasons that deal with my student loans, so our engagement will be just under 2 years. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with it if you two are completely ok with it. I agree that it is a new level of committment and that’s amazing! But definitely decide a specific timeframe to work towards. For example, mine is Summer 2018. Be sure to make things clear with your family and enjoy the engagement!

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