(Closed) Long Engagements

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@NikkiMorgan:  I think it’s up to the couple. People will judge anything. He probably should have kept his mouth shut.

I guess for me we aren’t having a big wedding and I just want to be married as soon as possible. For me it isn’t about the one day, it’s about being married. I can’t imagine holding off for 2+ years but then again I am not a patient person.

You’re not doing anything wrong… I guess just be prepared for questions since people might think that ‘wow they’re still not married… trouble in paradise?!’. I think it’s only natural for people to wonder.

Post # 5
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@NikkiMorgan:  YES!! MY MOTHER! lol My Fiance and I have done things a little backwards, we have an 8 month old and my mother wanted us to get married before she was born. I never wanted that becasue I didnt want to feel like he was marring me becasue I was having his child. I told him not to propose when I was pregnant but he had a ring and was planning to do it anyways and surprised me without a word mentioning it so I knew his heart was in the right place. I also wanted to look beautiful when I got married and to me that didnt equate with having a huge pregnant belly. We have been engaged for 10 months now and will be getting married on May 11,2013. (19 month engagement) Its annoying to hear her nagging but ultimately if waiting until 2015 is what works for you and your man then that is what you need to do. It is expensive and I have actually enjoyed the wedding planning becasue I can take my time and do things the way I want and I know at the end I am going to have a marriage, not a whirlwind day that was planned in 6 months. I feel wierd becasue everyone who got engaged around when I did is already married or getting married before me and I felt like I was maybe doing something wrong, but I am having a great time planning and our wedding is totally us and thats the most important thing to me in all the planning and waiting. Good Luck!

Post # 6
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It’s not bad.  A 2.5 or 3 year engagement is longer than average, and I think whenever someone does something a little different people ask questions, that’s all. 

Post # 9
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I understand where the officiant was coming from and was probably thinking “If you aren’t ready to get married right now, then why are you getting engaged?” Clearly, his way of thinking does not align to yours, and you should just thank him for his opinion and move on. When you get in to debates trying to defend why you’re doing something, it doesn’t turn out well. Personally I think 2 1/2 years is a LONG time to be engaged (not BAD, just LONG), but Fiance and I were actually considering this. My sister is getting married a month before I am (she set her date after me) and we really want to get married on our anniversary, so we considered pushing back to 2014 (I think our anniversary would have been on a Sunday then) but decided that we couldn’t wait that long and stuck with our original plan.

 

Ultimately, do whatever is going to make you happy and comfortable in your relationship. Seriously (and I don’t mean to sound rude) who gave anyone the right to say what is right or wrong for someone else’s relationship. Some people just need to STFU and let others do their own thing.

Post # 11
Member
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We got engaged at 8 years too and are getting married in 31 days! Our engagement was about 2 1/2 years long. People gave us funny looks at first, but you know what? I DON’T CARE. We did what worked for us and if they don’t like it, then they don’t have to wait that long.

Congrats btw 🙂  

Post # 12
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@NikkiMorgan:  Yeah, I totally agree w. you. I just said that so you’re aware that people might be thinking that – that’s all.

Post # 15
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We will be engaged for a year and 8 months. So almost two years! Ppl were taken aback at first as well but just tell yourself it’s what you and your partner decided so stick through it!! Don’t care what other ppl think because in the end, they will be sucking up to you to come to your wedding and be part of your celebrations :p

Post # 16
Member
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@NikkiMorgan:  Yeah, I’m super excited 🙂  And honestly they flew by. We were in no rush, and planning a wedding takes a lot of time and money, and we didn’t want to cause ourselves undue stress. The timeline was perfect for us – I’m really happy that we had a long engagement. And you’re exactly right, your happiness comes first! Everyone else has had or will have the option of deciding what they want to do about their own wedding. The whole reason for the wedding is celebrating YOUR union, not anyone elses. 

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