Long engagements- thoughts?

posted 5 months ago in Engagement
Post # 61
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I feel that whatever works best for you is what will be best for you!

I had a 19 month engagement, I have some friends that are having a 5 year engagement, and another set of friends that are having a 2 year engagement, they have been together for a long time and know they want to spend life together, but they want to buy a home first, and travel more! nothing wrong with that! =)

Post # 62
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2021 - City, State

aleycat65 :  My FH proposed a bit over a month ago and our wedding date isn’t until October 2021, making ours an almost 2.5 year engagement.

There were many factors in this for us, including that we both are starting grad school in August and won’t graduate until May of 2021, plus we would like to live together (just applied for our apartment today, fingers crossed!!!) and I particularly enjoy DIY projects, which will take more time than just buying something.

Engagment IS a precursor to getting married, and MANY people will be asking you when your wedding will be, what venue you’ll choose, and what theme you’re thinking of, among other things.  It’s 100% fine to have a long engagment because life definitely gets in the way, but be prepared to either begin planning (even if it’s just in your head and not on papaer), or at least be prepared to respond to those kinds of questions however you best see fit as soon as the ring goes on your finger.

TLDR; whether it’s 2 days, 2 years, or hell even 2 decades long, your engagment should be up to you and your fiance alone. 🙂

Good luck!

Post # 63
Member
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Do whatever works for you, but I have to say, I was only engaged for about 9 months before my wedding, and I got thoroughly sick of planning and thinking about it in that length of time haha. I tend to feel like engagement should mean you are actively planning to get married, and that if you aren’t ready for marriage then you aren’t ready to be engaged. But clearly that isn’t the case for everyone, and that’s fine! FWIW, my husband and I also met when I was 17, got engaged and then married when I was 24, and are now coming up on 5 years of marriage this summer with a one year old son. Your thoughts on priorities/timelines may change a lot in the next 5 years, it might be hard to have a wedding date you are potentially stuck to (deposits etc) for that length of time. 

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