(Closed) Long engagments

posted 10 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
865 posts
Busy bee

My boyfriend and I are college aged and while were not engaged yet we would most likely have a longer engagement because it is a busy time in our lives so I totally see where you’re coming from.

Post # 4
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

We are in our undergrad right now, and our engagement will be a little over two years. For us, it’s because we set markers for ourselves before we get married, including financial independence and graduating from our undergrad. We have currently been together for 5 1/2 years, and will have been together for almost 8 by the time we get married. 

I really want to plan ahead because a) we’re on a budget, but I’m picky and b) we have little free time between school and work, so more time to plan is helpful. 

It also just feels like a nice step forward. It’s been a long time since we’ve hit a milestone, and wedding planning and being engaged feel indulgent… like we’re allowed to celebrate our relationship again. 🙂 

Post # 5
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

We’re both college students, and we’re having a 1.5 year engagement. We decided to wait until after I graduated, but he’ll be finishing up grad school after we get married.

Post # 6
5495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am just about done with a 15 month engagement and I am going crazy. haha. If you want to take the 2 years, do it! = ) If you get everything you want done, then it’s not like you can’t change your minds. It’s about doing what you two would fell comfortable with as a couple!

Post # 7
2403 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

my Fiance is finishing his residency in the summer and we wanted to wait till he graduated and had a job before we got married. (i graduated from undergrad 5 years ago and have had a job this whole time).

Our engagement will be 2.5 years long.

I definitely don’t think our decision was “dumb” but rather smart financially because we’ll be able to pay half the wedding ourselves and logistically worked out better for us. (We moved to another state for his residency and the thought of having our wedding then moving right away just wouldn’t happen) I’ve also liked having a long engagement actually, its nice to plan with no stress.

Do everything on your own time and what works best for you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend. 🙂

Post # 8
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

We’re both college students (graduating this May), and though we are not yet engaged, we plan on having a long engagement. He wants to save up to buy my ring himself, and of course can’t do that until we are out of school with a steady job. Pair with that our intentions to move cross country together to California this summer, my applying to grad schools, likely for a two year program, it just seems like a lot. Also, we want to pay for much of the wedding ourselves, so that’s going to take a good amount of saving.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a long engagement.. I used to feel the same way you do, but now just knowing where we are in our lives, I don’t mind. I think it’s good to BE engaged, to have that period of time knowing that you’re getting ready to “start” your lives together.. it’s exciting!

Post # 10
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

By the time Fiance and I are married in July, our engagement will have been slightly over 2 years. I think we waited an extra year because of the money thing- I was finishing up my degree when we got married, so to save money, I took a year off between my degrees (I’m planning on starting a grad program in the fall) to work and save money. I think a 2 year engagement is absolutely resonable. of course when you get engaged you want to marry ASAP, but sometimes it’s just not logical or right for the couple. I’m especially gald I had so much time, because I scoured so many sites and wedding pictures that I really got a good idea of what I wanted for the wedding. In the past year, I have been working more and more towards the wedding. I think it’s a good idea!

Post # 11
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think longer engagements are OK if it’s a matter of logistics (i.e. wedding planning) or maybe if you are saving up for the wedding.

The annoy me when people get engaged because it’s “the next step” and have no intention of actually getting married for several years…like engagement is just extra-serious dating instead of a promise to spend the rest of your lives together.

Post # 12
5385 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

We dated since high school (over 6 years) so a long engagement was out of the question for us. We waited until we were both at least done with undergrad. He is now working and I am trying to pursue 2 more degrees before I’m done. We will only be engaged for a 1 and a week.

I don’t see anything wrong with having a long engagement if it would be better for the both of you. Having a good job and being able to provide for yourselves is a plus.

Post # 13
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

ive been engaged for two years already and my wedding isnt till May 2011, we dont live together, i have two kids, i work and i go to school… its understandable and the only way it can work in a situation like this, i short engagement would just make things too stressful and probably end up in relationship problems, i say take it at a pace that you know is right for you and all will go as smoothly as wedding planning can… which trust me isnt perfectly smooth no matter how much time or money you have!

Post # 14
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Oxon Hill Manor

Well I’m not in college anymore, but I just graduated two years ago. My fiance and I were going to have the typical one-year engagement, but we’ve since decided it might be better to give it an additional 6 months. I was nervous about how this would look to others, but everyone has said “there’s nothing wrong with having more time to plan the wedding!”

We’re also going to be moving in with each other this year, which we figured would be a lot on top of a wedding. We’ve both said there’s no point in rushing thigns, since this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I think if you’re ready to be engaged, but not married, you should go for it! Lots of couples, like myself are opting for longer engagements that suit their lifestyles.

Good luck!  

Post # 15
13562 posts
Honey Beekeeper

MissSophisticated: I graduated from undergrad in May. Fiance proposed last March. Total, our engagement will be 28 months by the time we are married. So yes, long engagement. I’m in grad school now and it is very important to me to finish that before we get married. But we’ve been together for 4 years and 8 months, so honestly, the 16ish months that are left until the wedding don’t seem all that long to us at all!!!!

Post # 16
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My husband and I were engaged for 3 years before we got married.  We were engaged throughout the last 3 years of college because our parents wanted us to wait until after we graduated to get married.  It’s really a good idea if you are going to be paying for most of your wedding since it gives you more time to save up.

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