Post # 1
Ok the run down! BM’S wedding we flew to and helped wrap wedding guest gifts so his bride to be could pamper herself to get ready for the wedding. I am now friends/accquantices with her now and my Fiance and I visit them a few times a year they now live only 4 hours away.
Now 3 years later he is to be FI’s Bridesmaid or Best Man. Bridesmaid or Best Man said they were coming, I got them both gifts. Now just a few weeks before the wedding and Bridesmaid or Best Man tells my Fiance his wife is not coming. He said money is tight (weird considering she has been traveling back and forth to NY just to party with her friends she misses and staying in a Manhattan hotel which is UBER expensive) none of my business what they do with their money so again whatever (yes I am rolling my eyes when I say that). BM set up now a weekend out of town for FI’s bachelor party! Was supposed to be one night in town like mine. Fiance said no to cancel the Bachelor party weekend thing and just come to town for the night and party with him, save the money and use it for your wife to come to our wedding. He refuses to cancel the Bachelor weekend and said “NO WE ARE GOING I just set it all up no going back now”. Fiance said his wife was being snotty and mean to Bridesmaid or Best Man in the background (basically they are just not getting along) so now it’s about Bridesmaid or Best Man not getting along with wife and wanting to get away from her.
This week I found out she basically dose not want to go and wants to go see her friends. I read her Facebook “May is not soon enough I can’t wait to see everyone”, one of her NY friends said “IS hubby coming” she posted back “he will be at the beach that weekend” The beach weekend in May is our wedding in the Bahamas. OK moving on: I am just fed up with the both of them!
My FI’s bachelor party was not to be a weekend out of town so Bridesmaid or Best Man can get away from his wife. I already don’t like him that much because he is nasty…(not dirt nasty) he always hugs me to long when my Fiance is not looking and gets way to touchy around my waist (borderline feeling me up!) One day he even walked behind me and rubbed his joystick on my behind! I almost threw up and felt much violated! So add that kind of person, wanting to get away from their wife and party for a weekend out of town making it my FI’s bachelor party weekend.
So I personally feel I might as well be saying, hey honey you should take a drunken weekend with your nasty friend who wants to get away from his wife for a few days. Basically that is it: I am aggravate after I helped her before her wedding when I didn’t even know her and she is ditched mine completely, I am aggravated Bridesmaid or Best Man for thinking it is OK to make my FI’s bachelor party about himself and running off for a weekend with my Fiance angry at your wife adds to my anxiety! If any bee has read my post on how I feel about trust, naive, and not being ok with my man with someone I don’t trust then you know how neurotic I am and how this is driving me crazy!
I want to just jump in everyone’s business and say: OK you selfish twits: YOU don’t ditch your husband on his best friend’s wedding because you DON”T feel like or your fighting especially his BFF’s wedding to the woman who helped you have time to pamper yourself before your when she didn’t’ even know you, and YOU don’t need to be taking my Fiance on any out of town weekend party trip to satisfy how pissed you are at your wife, SUCK IT UP, GROW UP, and stop thinking about yourself the both of you! GOSH!
Post # 3
I think if she doesnt want to come to the wedding or they are having issues, I would just let it go. I wouldnt get upset about it. SOme people came to my wedding but I’m not able to attend theirs due to the timing, money etc. Sometimes there is more to the situation than you are being told. I really wouldnt focus on being upset because this one woman doesnt want to come to the wedding.
Post # 4
@bells: It’s not about that I could have cared less if she went if it was NOT last min to know and it’s the selfish aspect I can’t stand it also effects me and my Fiance. I am angry because with them having drama the Bridesmaid or Best Man us making my Fiance feel bad becasue he don’t want to go out of town for a weekend it is to much money right before the wedding and now Bridesmaid or Best Man is refusing to stay at the same resport because she is not going (it’s a couples resort) which will cost my Fiance another 200 for him a day pass, I have to return the gift I got her for she said she was going and it is less than a month away and I just found and and NOT from her from the Bridesmaid or Best Man and so on…
Post # 5
one of our groomsmen is like yall’s bm. totally inappropriate with me, and all females. i’m pairing him with my ballsy bridesmaid so she can knock him down a few notches if he misbehaves. as for the bachelor party, have u told your fi you don’t like it because since he is using it as a break from reality, he’ll be more likely to do things your future husband shouldn’t be involved in? personally, if my pain in the ass did this, i know he’d cheat on his so. i would NOT want my fi involved in that in any way, shape, or form. and i know he wouldn’t either, he just wouldn’t think about it ahead of time. you need to find out what your Fiance says about it. also, you need to trust your fi if you plan to marry him. yes, the bm is being a jerk, but your fi, if he’s a man worthy of marriage, should be trusted with the douche bag he claims is his friend.
Post # 6
which will cost my Fiance another 200 for him a day pass
No. Your Fiance should not be paying for any of these ideas that the Bridesmaid or Best Man comes up with or pay extra money because someone else’s marriage is on the rocks. He needs to stand his ground on all of this– no weekend, no extra money. It’s his wedding, not the BM’s time to fool around or waste everyone else’s money.
Post # 7
@AJester2: Totally, I just got off the phone with him after I wrote this and got it all out before calling with attitude which he don’t deserve. I spoke my feeling calmly and he understood and said “I know it’s bad timing but my best freind is having a hard time right now and upset and really just needs a break and some friend time…what if the other Groomsman goes will you feel better about it?” ME: YES, If he goes I will becuse he is a awesome family man who thinks the world revoves around his wife and has now for over 10 years and does not like men who disrespect their woman so YES take him with you please!” He laughed and said “I thought so, now take a deep breath and….wait arn’t you are work…get back to work missy!” LOL
His other Goomesman going would tame some of the pervs want to do nasty actions because the Bridesmaid or Best Man highly respects him and wouldn’t act nasty around him. I still feel peeved….just one of those i am fed up days! LOL
PS: I am not talking about strip clubing that is not what I mean when I say nasty actions.
Post # 8
Is it not GM? I keep reading Bridesmaid or Best Man and thinking bridesmaid.
Post # 9
Agree…and it’s not over yet. I agreed I wouldn’t be as upset if his other Grooman went but Fiance has not totally committed yet to the trip.
Fiance has to pay the day pass because we put in the brochure if you are not staying at the resort we would. (Guess I should have mentioned that) We did it because the resort is so expensive to stay at and we wanted those would could not afford it to be able to come. We budgeted for 4 and this is kind of last minute so now it’s 5. 200 might not be much to some but when you have a tight budget you are working on it hurts. DANG IT!
Post # 10
@Katnisseverdeen: haha Probably but I am not to savy with that stuff so I just thought Best Man…Bridesmaid or Best Man LOL my bad!
Post # 11
Honestly, I think the bigger issue in the whole situtation is the fact that he’s sexually unappropriate with you.
Post # 12
“Honestly, I think the bigger issue in the whole situtation is the fact that he’s sexually unappropriate with you. “
Yeah. Does your fiancé know about this? I know for a fact my husband would no longer be friends with someone who touched me inappropriately. There’s no excuse for that.
Post # 13
Yeah it is an issue because now when I know he is visiting I find somewhere to go and if I have to be home and Fiance walks outside or leaves the house for any reason I make sure I don’t leave the room.
I think I just don’t like my Fiance hanging out with someone who would disrespect him and his woman behind his back. He is just not trustworthy and my Fiance deserves better in a friend.
I never want to come between my Fiance and his Best Friend so I try to deal.
I told my Fiance about it a few years ago and I can tell he wished I never did and was very put off by it. I don’t think he knew exactly what to think. He asked “do you think it possible you’re exaggerating?” I said NO, when a man rubs his junk on your behind TWICE pretending he is just trying to get by you in the hallway it’s NOT a mistake, that is on purpose and gross! FI said “Well I don’t know what to say he has been my best friend for 20+ years, he rarely comes to visit, and is my best man I have noticed him checking you are a few times but all my friends have at some point they are men.
I said well eyes drawn to cleavage or a girls butt that looks good in the dress she is wearing that day is natural for most straight men that and totally NOT even close to the same thing. He deliberately semi feels me up when he hugs me and I am NOT comfortable around him when you’re not around so don’t ask him to stay at our house when he is in town if you plan to leave me with him for even a minute.” He just held his head down and walked away. It was obvious he was hurt by it. I can say he has not been back to our house since. He goes to see him and unlike most times when he goes to visit for a day or two he asks me to go but hasn’t done that either knowing it wouldn’t be proper to ask me to stay at their home considering the situation.
I think at the wedding when he hugs me if he does it in a nasty grouping, rub his junk on me way I am going to knee him in the balls and say “Now that I am his wife I won’t be so nice so never touch me again.” HA I will report back if it happens the wedding is in 8 days!