Post # 31
Ok, that sort of changes things…I don’t blame you AT ALL…in addition to not spending time together, you are essentially funding his hobby and lifestyle that he does alone while you are busy working…that would definitely build resentment in my mind!! Maybe I am wrong, but I suspect you feel your husband should be spending more time looking for PERMANENT employment and less time farting around at a gym…I think you need to discuss all of the issues with him…particularly if you guys have debt to pay off…he needs to grow up!!
Post # 32
IIII donno, I don’t think it’s fair if you don’t like it and you’re also paying for most of it…
SO has a job where he works most saturdays, is renoing a house, and is big into mountainbiking, sailing and rock climbing
I usually leave for work an hour earlier than him, hit the gym on my way home, have an active social life and blog in my spare time (which any blogger will tell you is a fuck ton of work), also in the summers while he’s working weekends I go up north and we don’t see each other AT ALL at least 2 weekends of the month
so.. we’re big on having dinner together as much as we can, but honestly most of the time, certainly in the summer, we’re more like ships in the night. This works for us though and if it ever didnt (and sometimes it does get to me) we mention it to each other and do what we can to change it. Similarly if our families are feeling neglected or like they haven’t seen their kid’s partner, we make effort to show up more consistently
It’s a juggling act, but it’s YOUR juggling act, so you need to figure out what you can both be happy with
Post # 33
We spend at least 4 hours a day together.
Post # 34
cate23 : So . . . you are paying money for him to stay away from you most nights of the week, which is making you very unhappy? Read that back a couple times. I think I see a very easy solution to this problem.
Post # 35
ct2015 : This was my thought as well. I know substitute teaching, here in FL anyways, doesn’t pay much at all, and the MMA classes have to be expensive.
OP- is this hurting your financial goals/ savings at all? If so that would be a huge issue for me.
Post # 36
CakeSniffer : thanks for your reply. My husband and I still do a variety of activities together when he is available on the weekends and our date night and make the most of that time. My main concern is not doing any daily living activities together like going to bed together at night or eating dinner together, taking care of the house or even just talking =(
Post # 37
That would make me sad too. My Darling Husband and I are together whenever he is not at work, and he is a teacher. Maybe once every 2 weeks we do something on our own.
Post # 38
Belichick : i don’t think the money aspect of it bothers me. It’s not prohibitively expensive – $200-250/month. He otherwise doesn’t spend much money on other things, so it’s not like it’s a financial burden. I earn more money and therefore I “pay” more of our bills (our finances are joint), but he still pulls his weight with helping financially and around the house.
Post # 39
cate23 : that’s way way less than I was expecting for the classes. Still, I’m sorry you’re not getting the time you want. We are still that couple that are always together. I adore my friends, our kids, and the rest of our family, but I’m happiest when I’m with just him. I hope you can find a compromise that makes you both happy.
Post # 40
Belichick : thank you for your well wishes!