Post # 1
I may have already screwed myself on this one. A little back story…..my dad had two daughters before my parents were married. We did not (were not allowed) to speak of them and my dad have no roles in their life. About 2 years ago the oldest daughter found my dad and they have since built relationships. I have spent time with both of them, just for a few hours really. The wedding is out-of-town for everyone. It’s a destination wedding. I sent out Save The Dates, sending them to both of my ‘sisters’. The were addressed to the sister and their respective husbands. I guess I assumed they would not be attending, but did the STD as a ‘courtesy’ to my dad. Well, now it turns out they are coming. Am I thrilled that 4 of the 50 people will be sisters I barely knew? Well, I am happy to have them. But now I find out they are both bringing their 2 kids, each. So that is 4 kids to a wedding we didn’t plan on having kids at. I feel like since they are spending the money to come to a Lake Tahoe destination wedding I don’t have the right to tell them we aren’t having kids. Is it too late and too much to ask of them? I can’t afford to set up someone babysit the kids during the wedding but I can’t afford to feed them all either. I’m a jerk I guess.
Post # 3
You’re not a jerk! & its awesome that your sisters are coming :).
Did you tell everyone else “no kids”? If so, just let them know that. People here can help you how to word it nicely :). If you let some people bring kids, & others you don’t, that’s a little different.
Post # 4
That is so funny! My dad had 2 daughters before he had my brothers and myself and we didn’t even know about them. He didn’t have anything to do with them and we grew up none the wiser until this past year. One sister contacted my brother and the other sister contacted me. They didn’t know about each other either, so it was completely coincidental. I invited one sister to the wedding and I was so happy she was able to make it. The other sister mentioned to my brother that she didn’t have the money or time to be able to make it to the wedding, so I didn’t invite her.
I think that it is perfectly fine to let them know that you are hosting an adult-only wedding. Imagine how they would feel if they got there only to find out that they weren’t supposed to bring the children, they might feel pretty bad. I would recommend doing it before they cuy any plane tickets or make any travel plans so they can take that into consideratbon.
Post # 5
Sometimes I think brides today are assuming far too much responsibility and expense for their guests. It is not your responsibility to provide a sitter.
Let tem know that they are perfectly welcome to bring their children on the trip if they choose but that you are having an adult reception and there will be no children.
Usually hotels can provide references for suitable sitters, bit in case that’s not the situation:
Post # 6
You Bees are so great! I’m so torn! My heart knows I can’t let my brother (whom I was raised with) bring his two kids and not let my new-half-sisters not bring theirs. My mind knows that I can’t afford it and I don’t even want to bring it up to FH. Hell, we don’t even send out the invitaions out for 7 weeks. Decisions, decisions.