- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
Long Ring Vent – I appreciate all of you who read and comment!
Background: Back when we were engaged I lost me modest diamond solitaire ring. While I loved her dearly, and still wish she would make her way home 3+ years later, I wouldn’t say she was my dream ring. What made that ring my ‘dream ring’ was simply the fact that it was from my dream man. While I always imagined getting a solitaire again, and have tried on solitaires, they just don’t sing to my soul. I even tried a oval solitaire, (heart ovals) thinking it would change this, but it hadn’t. In fact, diamonds just don’t in general anymore. Heck, I’ve tried on a $15K ring, and while it was beautiful, all I could think was “why in the world would we spend that much money on something that I should love, but but just makes me feel empty inside instead of bursting with bubbles, butterflies, and sunshine as it should”. On the other hand, simply looking at yellow sapphire/yellow diamond rings set in a halo make my heart turn all wam and fuzzy. I mentioned this to one of my girlfriends, and while out for a girls day, we decied to stop in some random jewelry store and have me try on a halo. Previous to ring stalking, I never would have imagined myself to be a halo girl. Any who, I tried on a halo, and in between smiles, I thought, the only thing that could make this more perfect would be if it had a yellow stone. Absolutely perfect.
Later, I told Darling Husband that I thought I wanted to try on some yellow sapphires, just to see. (We had never went ring shopping pre-engagement, or even pre-3 months ago, so I never really had that experience). He looked at me kind of funny, but agreed. We had talked about them since then as well, and while I’m always optimistic, he agrees but doesn’t say much.
Present Day: After church, my husband and I decide to go look at yellow sapphires (no pressure on him, just casually mentioned it and he agreed). The whole ring ordeal is uncomfortable for both of us. Basically, it’s uncomfortable for me because I feel like I’m asking a lot out of him- he already bought me a diamond ring, and I lost it – he really shouldn’t have to buy me another ring. Also, I know what I want, but I also know what he wants, and they are two different things. I feel very guilty because as much as I hate to admit it, even though in general I’m a simple woman (honestly, everything in our house is thrifted and the shirt I’m wearing cost me $3), I do, oh so much do, want a big blingy ring (insert me blushing and lowering my head in shame here). It’s absolutely ridiculous, selfish, materialistic, and just very unbecoming of me, not to mention nothing at all like my typical character. BUT I can’t help that this is how I feel. I strive to be as humble as I can, but I just can’t get over this one materialistic thing not matter how hard I try. If only you ladies knew about how much I have prayed NOT to feel this way. It’s uncomfortable for him because he knows how important it is to me, how big the price tag is likely to be, and he’s a very traditional man. In his opinion, it would be just fine and dandy if I continued to wear my solid gold band for the rest of my life. On the way to one of the local family owned jewelers (the only one that’s open on Sunday), while trying to hide it, I’m sure I looked very giddy, he states that he feels like we’re just wasting our time because in the end he’s going to get me a diamond solitaire. He said that he feels like I’m compromising what I want simply because I can get it for a couple thousand vs. the $12K ring “we” picked out. He said that he wanted people to know we’re married, and that it’s just not some random ring on my finger. All I could think was, “what the?! I’ve been wearing a gold band for the last how many years. If people aren’t going to think a ginormous stone on my finger indicates I’m married, I certainly doubt they think I’m married now”. I don’t get it. While he wasn’t jumping on the bandwagon in the past, he certainly wasn’t objecting the idea. He’s seen me looking onlind at rings forever and a half now, you’d think he would have said this before. Basically, I told him that if that’s how he felt then we should just go home, and so we did. Right now I want to cry. Why won’t he listen to me and see that ultimately the yellow sapphire halo is not only going to make me much more happer, I won’t feel guilt over money spent, and we’ll save at least $8K, probably more (which is a lot of money to anyone, especially budget freak me!). Ladies, how do I get my usually in tuned, but in this case deaf husband, to come around.
Sorry for the loooooong post. I thank you all in advance!