(Closed) Long term girlfriend not invited to 3 friends weddings in short succession

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 106
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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konzy :  your friends should invite her. Doesn’t matter if they know her. She is your serious girlfriend. I barely knew lots of plus ones at my own wedding, but that’s ok. As long as they are important to my guest they are welcome. That being said of course not just any date you know for a month; but if you are serious then OF COURSE! And i understand your gf! Her feelings are reasoable! Sorry, but are you a guy or girl? If girl, do you think ppl have a problem with you being a lesbian?

Post # 107
4 posts
  • Wedding: December 2016

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ct2015 :  “You don’t plan your guest list around your budget, you plan your wedding around your guest list.”

More brides really need to hear this. Learn it. Live it.

Post # 108
6360 posts
Bee Keeper

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konzy :  Friends are being incredibly rude!  I started dating my husband, three weeks after we were dating, THREE WEEKS, an additional invite to a wedding he had gotten invited to earlier in the year, came directly addressed to me so I for sure knew that I was definitely included as his plus one.  So your friends are being incredibly rude.

Post # 109
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

your friends are wrong and rude. you two have been together for 1.5 years and now living together, you two are a unit, an automatic plus one. I cant blame her for being angry. she should be completely insulted, as well as you should be. she isnt some girl you picked up at a bar the night before. the two of you are very established. Very thoughtless.

Post # 110
38 posts
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Vineyards

I think it was rude for you to ASK if she’s invited. Couples put a lot of thought into who they are inviting. It causes a lot of stress and worry about balancing people’s feelings and a budget. Also 1.5 years is hardly a ‘long term’ relationship to be outraged over.

Post # 111
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

It is not up to outsiders to judge how long is “long enough”; if two people say they are a couple, they are a couple and both are invited or neither of them.

You don’t ask someone to celebrate your relationship while you are invalidating theirs.

A SO is not a plus one. A plus one is a date and the invitation is optional. An SO is half of a social unit and the invitation is required.

A year and a half sounds like a long time to me; DH and I had been married for a year by the time we’d been together for a year and a half. If he weren’t invited somewhere, I wouldn’t go; nor would I remain friends with whoever didn’t invite him.

Post # 112
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

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konzy :  

ughh this is tough!! You explained the situation really well so kudos! 

I feel like each side is a bit wrong and right and you are just caught in an awful middle section. 

I wouldn’t want you to miss it though because she feels slighted but I can imagine it feels quite awful. 

sorry I’m no help here. following to see what you do

Post # 113
8283 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

I am going to go ahead and close this thread as it is two years old 🙂

Post # 114
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Old thread!

The topic ‘Long term girlfriend not invited to 3 friends weddings in short succession’ is closed to new replies.

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