Long term relationship ended

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
7748 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m so sorry bee – breakups are the absolute worst. Everything you’re feeling right now – fear of being alone, fear of ever finding someone as “great” as your ex, etc. – is totally normal, and I promise you those feelings will fade once the raw pain of the breakup wears off. I ended a long-term relationship when I was 29 and felt all those same things that you’re feeling. I’m now 33, married to a guy who is a billion times better for me in every way, and we’re expecting our first baby in a couple months.

Things look bleak now, but I promise you, your future is bright. Be kind to yourself now, take some time to mourn, but don’t give up hope. You will find someone who is much better suited to you and who will never make you question his love for you, and you’ll look back on this period of time and thank your lucky stars you dind’t marry your ex! I promise.

Post # 3
Member
400 posts
Helper bee

How awful to do that to you again. There is a saying Bee – fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. You are a person, not some product he picked from the store with a 4 week return policy that he gets to use and see if he grows to like. He is a stupid so and so and he did you a favour, the only regret is the wasted years on him. 

Post # 4
Member
4084 posts
Honey bee

adventurelouise13 :  I’m so sorry, bee. Breakups, especially after long term relationships, are terrible. I know it hurts right now. Take all the time you need to heal. Talk to any friends you do have, as well as family. Go out and get to know people. But most importantly, get to know yourself outside of your relationship with your ex. Find a new interest or hobby. Make new friends. Focus on yourself right now. When the time is right, you’ll find the right person for you. You’re young, chin up! You got this *hugs*

Post # 5
Member
2666 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

adventurelouise13 :  I’m so sorry Bee. Breakups suck. 

I hope that you take some time to do some soul searching and find your Mr. Right. I really do believe everyone deserves to have a partner that you aren’t afraid you aren’t enough or that they will leave you. I know you will find that one day 🙂 

*Hugs*

Post # 7
Member
7748 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

adventurelouise13 :  It is really hard when you still have feelings for your ex – I know. The thing is, the relationship you had with your ex can’t work. It can’t work because your partner isn’t all in. You deserve someone who is ALL IN and who you don’t have to beg and plead with to give your relationship a chance.

Twice now your ex has broken up with you. Even if he comes crawling back tomorrow begging you to take him back, you know you’ll always have that paranoia in the back of your mind that he’ll cast you aside again. Therefore, you will never be truly happy or at peace with him…you may have days or weeks where things feel great, but that nagging insecurity that he might end it again will always be with you.

Also, in a healthy, stable relationship, neither partner has to “fight” for the other. This whole notion of fighting for each other sounds romantic in theory, but when two partners are all in, being together and putting each other first is as natural as breathing – it’s not a struggle. There is no fight, there is no distrust that your partner might decide something is “missing” one day and throw everything away. There’s just comfort, security, and happiness. Of course life will throw you slings and arrows aloing the way, but your relationship should be your rock during those times, it shouldn’t be the thing in your life that is causing the slings and arrows.

Post # 8
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

I’m so sorry bee – break ups are the absolute worst. Be good to yourself now & talk to friends you do have as well as family. It may take a while but things will get better….i promise! 

Post # 9
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

so sorry you have to go through all this breakup hardship bee. i know it’s hard to trust someone once again once you’ve given a 100% or even more of yourself to someone you believed in and loved. but chances are, there are still some people out there that’s going to love you even more and proof to you that you do matter. cheer up bee, you’re going to be strong and you’re going overcome this. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
2276 posts
Buzzing bee

adventurelouise13 :  girl, you are SOOOO young! Your life is JUST beginning. Take a second and have a flashback of yourself at 21 when you got with this dude, and yourself now. My guess is that’s you’ve grown tremendously, am I right? At 27, you’re now a single, independent woman who is mature and well-equipped with the long-term dating experience to know a few vital things to have a successful relationship with a grown MAN who isn’t wishy-washy:

1.) what YOU want out of a relationship 

2.) what you DO NOT want out of a relationship 

3.) that you do not NEED a man to thrive and be happy (you didn’t die over those 5 months that you were single, did you?) and that gives you so, so much power

 

Now take some time to heal from your long-term relationship, but do not sit around and wallow in your sadness forever. There are *plenty* of good men out there who cannot *wait* to commit and marry you, but you’ve just gotta nix the fear of dating and go get you one! After you’ve healed from your breakup, life will seem so much clearer and you’ll be so glad that he’s not the one you ended up committing yourself to for the rest of your life. He did *you* a favor! Get your 27-year-old ass out there and live your best life, bee!

 

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