(Closed) “Long time no see, are you preg-” “-NO!”

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

You could make light of it and when you see her say something like “before you ask, still not pregnant!” but make sure you do it in a joking manner. Hopefully that will get the message across that you are totally ok with it now

Post # 18
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Is your student Japanese? Because I’m half Japanese, and a lot of Asians have very different approaches to weight than in America.  It’s not that uncommon for someone to point blank tell someone else, “You’ve gotten fat.”

When I see my wife’s family (Korean), they will sometimes tell me, “You’ve gained 5 pounds.”  What’s amazing is that they often get the weight gain exactly right, down to the precise pound!  I don’t know how they do it, but it’s a true skill.

Anyway I recently lost weight, and one of the reasons is that I was dreading seeing my relatives and this way, there will be less conversation about my waistline!

Post # 19
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Mr. Bee – oh, my grandpa’s like that! He’s German, but also strangely accurate. 

To the OP – ugh, what an awkward situation. Just smile, be confident, and take control of the situation. It happens more than you might think, and like others have said, it’s more about the clothes than you. 

PS: My wedding dress has an empire waist (sort of)! I hope no one thinks it’s a shotgun wedding (with a 2 1/2 year engagement?!) 


Post # 21
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

@lilyfaith: I meant empire waisted shirts, not dresses.  It just seems like empire waisted shirts are ONLY made in maternity styles, and I was always very wary to wear them with my “birthing hips” (thanks dad).  Dresses are a different story!  I’m sure your wedding dress will be fine!

Post # 22
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mightysapphire: I know, I was kidding. 😉 Although it is worrisome because my stomach is the only part of me that bloats out obnoxiously when I’m stressed, didn’t eat, did eat, etc.

@xoxokristen – let us know how it goes… I hope it’s not terribly awkward for you!

Post # 24
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception


“a lot of Asians have very different approaches to weight than in America.  It’s not that uncommon for someone to point blank tell someone else, “You’ve gotten fat.”” (from Mr. Bee)

Must be an Asian thing, my mom is EXACTLY the same way.

I personally would just leave things unsaid. Let by gones be bygones.

Post # 25
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

She probably felt bad about it and might even be extra nice this time around.

As for Asians being brutally honest about weight gain, it’s true! My Mom and aunts are all the same way! I’m a big girl and I hate it, and they know I hate it so they know to watch their tongue but it’s friggen annoying.

Post # 26
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I think you need to take culture into account here. The Japanese are all about saving face and I think that includes just letting it go. Since months have passed, if she didn’t appologize the first time, I would not expect her to bring it up again thus making you both feel awkard once again. It was just a mistake, months have pasted and you just need to forget it happened in order to maintain your professional relationship. Chalk it up to the low number of pregnant women in Japan and the fact that almost every woman in Japan wears a size “medium” and hopefully you can laugh about it.

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