(Closed) Long vent: edited and semi-anonymous

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

LOL, thanks for posting all the follow up comments!  Glad you reposted.  Smile

Post # 5
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

First, I am sorry that you’re embroiled with this. I hope you feel better soon. I think time will help you feel better, as time always does. I don’t think you really need to bring this up again—instead I’d focus on having positive, non-wedding-related interactions, in person if possible. That will replace these negative interactions and give you a chance for a more positive outlook.

In terms of the emails (joke email notwithstanding), my thoughts are that it sounds like these ladies are on information overload. Your wedding was more than a year away when you sent out detailed information about bridesmaid dresses, and they probably were caught off guard. Also, I would aim for stating things in the positive instead of in the negative. For example, instead of saying “get anything you want except for these limitations” just give a more specific statement of what it is you do want. It’s the difference between saying, “I like dresses, except when they are orange, yellow, green, purple, black, and brown,” versus, “I like dresses, especially when they are red or blue” and then include pics of red and blue dresses you love.

Sometimes having too many options can be very daunting. Being accommodating is important, but you can be too acccomodating. Sometimes it is easier on the bridesmaids for the bride to just say what it is she wants. Plus, if you have good taste (and you probably do since you are aware of what things you want to avoid), the bridesmaids will probably love your choices! 


Post # 6
1154 posts
Bumble bee

🙂  I also want to note that we all have some topics about which we have to bite our tongues in certain situations, I don’t talk about fantasy books with people who think dragons are silly… even if a series is consuming my non work life and I could talk for hours, I don’t talk about my problems finding the right red lipstick at lengh to guys or girls who never wear make up, etc.  It’s just part of life.

Also wedding planning has this property where it will fill up as much or as little of your life as you allow… it can very easily fill it all up!  And that’s not neccessarily desirable.  So having a reason to think about and talk about other topics can be no bad thing.  It’s good to have a break from planning/thinking wedding.

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