(Closed) Long Vent–FBIL

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Poor you. Sounds like your Future Brother-In-Law, while obv in a tight spot money wise, is just being a jackass to you two! Maybe it’s time for your man to call it straight – something like,

‘$xx is all we can afford to contribute to your flights. You book them, we’ll give you the money straight away, but we are having a hard time paying for everything already, so $xx (same amount) is really our limit.’

Post # 4
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

We had the same problem with 90% of DH’s family.  We paid for his mom to fly in and stay in a hotel, we paid for gas for his sister, and we paid for the dresses/tuxes for our ringbearers and flower girls.  It seemed like everyone in his family had their hand out, so I told Darling Husband that we could only afford [X] amount to help EVERYONE.  It was up to him to tell each person how much we could help.  His brother and his sister and her family ended up not coming at all.  Darling Husband was fine with that, since we’d given them such long notice to save.

It’s not your fault if your Future Brother-In-Law can’t afford to come.  If that’s the case, he should just be up front and tell you so and then he won’t have to worry about it.  I know it seems super important now, but later you may not even be bothered they weren’t there.

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