(Closed) *Long vent* My sister is a bridesmaid and driving me insane

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Uh, no.  I’m surprised you haven’t gone medieval on her yet.  OCD or not, it seems like she can make concessions in other areas of her life.  This is your day, and if it’s all too much for her, tell her you’ll understand if she really just doesn’t want to be your Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Sorry you’re going through all of this.

Post # 5
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! It sounds like your sister is being ridiculous. I would decide on the exact outfit she needs–dress, shoes, jewelry, etc.–and send her that. If she argues, stand your ground: “I’m sorry, but this is what all the bridesmaids are going to wear.” If you budge, I imagine she’ll keep arguing and trying to get her way. If you stand your ground, she’ll either have to buck up and wear what you want (and it’s YOUR day, and that’s what she signed up for as a bridesmaid) or step down. Ultimately, it’s her decision, and you shouldn’t have to worry or deal with all her difficulties. 

Post # 6
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@sit1010: Ummmm… if it were me…. I’d give her the boot… wanna guess where it would be? 😉  Sister or not, if she isn’t going to be a good bridesmaid, she doesn’t DESERVE to be a bridesmaid.

Actions have consequences (something I keep trying to teach my kids…) and it seems like she needs a healthy dose of learning this.

good luck and I hope you get this sorted out soon!  

Post # 7
151 posts
Blushing bee

Your sisiter is a bit manipulative.  She likes being OCD it gives her control.  I worked in mental health for over 15 years.  People hold on to things because there is a payoff.  For your sister, it’s lets her get her way.  She gets money and gift cards so she is in control.  You said it yourself, she gets a little better and then is uncomfortable being healthy so she stops taking her meds.  Shoes are the least of your problems with her.  If it were my sister, I would let it go.  Tell her to show up in Fuchsia or she wont be walking down the aisle and then back off.  She’ll figure it out.  By The Way, if this is the only problem you’re having with relatives, you are truly blessed!  Now go and enjoy your wedding and your new happy life with the love of your life!

Post # 9
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I feel for you. Growing up with someone that has OCD or any mental illness has to be very rough on you. All the women in my family have a mental illness, including me. For me its depression and OCD, for my mom, its compulsive lying, depression and physcosis. If possible, I think that maybe you should make a visit to a counsellor. I am no way indicating that you have a mental illness but they will be able to help you learn to deal with having an OCD family member and it will hopefully get some of this stuff off your chest. Weddings are stressfull enough, without having to deal with bridemaid issues. I have all kinds of bridesmaid issues. 

What I would do(this is just my opinion) would be to give her as many options as you are giving your other maids(or less) and follow it with “If you arent comfortable wearing what I have selected, then maybe you would be more comfortable as a guest.” Maybe you could say it a little nicer then that or (if you can handle it) just let her come in what she wants but you have to be able to let it go and just ignore the fact she is unmatching. You are not going to be able to please everyone but it sounds like you have some other good bridesmaids behind you.

I hope you come up with a solution that works best for you. I am sure all your hardwork will pay off and you will have a beautiful day:D


Hang in there.



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