(Closed) long vs. short engagements/relationships

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Which excites you the most:
    hearing a *new* couple is engaged & then promptly married (new=1-3yrs) : (24 votes)
    16 %
    hearing an *old* couple is engaged & eventually married (old=4+ yrs) : (59 votes)
    40 %
    they both equally excite me! : (59 votes)
    40 %
    Other (please leave a comment) : (4 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    203 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would say older relatinships (but I’m in one so I could be just slightly biased haha) but I do think its really nice to see a couple thats been together for a long time finally tie the knot.  Thats not to say that new relationship engagements don’t excite me but its a different feeling.

    Post # 4
    2822 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    They both excite me! 🙂

    Post # 5
    4891 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I’m definitely more excited by “older” couples getting engaged and married. Although I will technically fall into the “newer” category. Our wedding day will be about 3 months after our 3 year anniversary. 

    Post # 6
    7904 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    What affects me is not how long the couple has been together but how long they’ve been engaged. In my ideal world, a couple has been together for a while, but once they get engaged they actually start planning a wedding for a relatively soon date (maybe within 18 months).

    Post # 7
    9202 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    In my experience, most people are different from your facebook friend.  I and a lot of people my age (late 20s to early 30s) are wary when they hear of people tying the knot right away – we’ve seen a lot of divorces.  Whereas, my guy and I had been together for ages – like a decade – before we got engaged, and our friends and family are all literally esctatic about it.  It’s pretty cool Smile

    Post # 8
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I guess short engagements/relationships really feel romantic to me. I always poke Darling Husband and sigh because I’m jealous of them and how fast the man knew they should get married, and that she was the one etc. Ideally I would love to have some big romantic story about how we met and just knew we were perfect for each other and we ran off an eloped. (But I’m very scared for these people that they aren’t thinking this through enough).

    But in my normal life, I am equally excited for everyone!! Planning on spending your life together is a very special thing.

    Post # 9
    2607 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I suppose in general I’d be less excited about couples who’ve been together a long time, like… 6-10 years and beyond.  

    I think there’s an assumption (mostly mistaken I’m sure) that a proposal after that long is kind of a “well we might as well just get married” or “settling for each other” or “she finally nagged him into it” scenario.

    However… the MOST excited I’ve ever been for someone getting engaged was a friend and co-worker of mine who got engaged after 12 years.  They are simply the most amazing couple I’ve ever met, and they only waited so long for legal reasons.  The whole office was shouting for joy the day she came in with her engagement ring on.  There were many, many tears shed at that wedding.

    Post # 10
    951 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I love all engagements! I am in the long term category (5 years before engagement) and have had friends get engaged in anywhere from 6 months to 1 year. A number of my friends are quite religious and their church values and traditions are what prompts the shorter relationships.

    Either way, I am a sucker for love and ecstatic to hear about any of my friends finding it in their lives!

    Post # 11
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @mrsSonthebeach:  this. I get excited when a couple who has been together at least 2-3 years gets engaged and then gets married in a year or so. It’s hard to stay super excited about a long engagement. It’s even harder to get excited for a couple who get engaged after dating a short time when they are statistically more likely to divorce. 

    Post # 12
    916 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Technically, I was in the new relationship category when I got married. Got engaged after 9 months of dating and we were married around 1 year and a half of being together. I get excited for all couples who are getting married regardless of how long they have been together.  Marriage seems to have more of a bad rep these days with the Divorce rate being so high so it’s nice when people don’t let those statistics bother them and they stick with marriage. Everytime I hear of someone who is Engaged, I smile and think “The Idea of Marriage is definitely not dead”. Every couple has very different times in their relationship where they are ready to get married and there is nothing wrong with that.

    Post # 13
    664 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I am excited for anyone getting engaged!

    Though if it is under a year of dating I ususally question it a bit more than if two people have been dating a while.  If I found out a couple who has been dating a long time get engaged (i.e. like me and Fiance who were at 4.5 years before we got engaged) I do say “FINALLY”- at least to myself.

    Post # 14
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @mrsSonthebeach:  Agreed. I don’t feel like an engagement is “real” in my mind until there’s a date and a location locked in. 3+ year engagements confuse me.

    Post # 15
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    To be honest, I roll my eyes at anyone getting married after dating less than a year, even if they have a longer engagement. I also agree with PP that it isn’t a true engagement until a date is set and a venue is put on hold. If you’re actively not trying to get married, then what is the point? 

    And seriously, that’s not a pot shot at anyone’s relationship here. Just my opinion. 

    Post # 16
    901 posts
    Busy bee

    I get excited for couples that are clearly over the moon for each other and meant to be. They have that glow! I also think it’s nice to hear about couples tying the knot who have been together for a long time. I guess I think it’s nice when anyone decides to get married, provided the couple seems happy!

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