(Closed) Looking at girls on facebook?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee

Sounds harmless. I look at friends FB pictures all the time just to see their families or just to look at their pictures. Not to “get off”.  I tihnk it’s harmless.  With you snooping, i think you have some kind of trust issues.  #1, with the rings….trust that he will get you what you want…#2, Facebook.  It’s not porn.  Enough said.  

Post # 4
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You need to just come clean and address the situation with him.

Post # 5
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@ForeverBlessed:  +1

Tell him what happened. I would be upset too, pornstars are very different to girls you actually know! I would be upset too if Fiance was jerking off to bikini pictures of people we knew!

Post # 6
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Who knows what this is about. I wouldn’t jump right to the worst possible conclusion though. What now? I think honesty is the best policy. You need to own up to snooping and talk to him about it. 

Post # 7
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would also admit I snooped and ask him about it. Porn is one thing, but looking at friends and people he knows? I would be upset too, if I were you.

Post # 8
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with everyone, hon.  Just tell him in the exact context you just told us.  Sometimes snooping isn’t all bad because you find out things.  This is an opportunity for the two of you to become closer, if you look at it that way.  Don’t be accusatory with him, but definitely ask him what’s up with looking at his friends in a seemingly sexual way.  Ask him how he would feel if one of his friends was checking you out in a bikini in such a covert way.  Just make him understand how you feel.  Big hugs!!!

Post # 9
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Jacqui90:  +1.

I think knowing the girls definitely changes things. With porn its such an abstract fantasy. With someone you know its a fantasy that has the possibility of becoming reality and thats what bothers me about it. I would not want my Fiance looking at our friends one afternoon and then we go hang out with those friends later that weekend. Ugh.

Post # 10
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I look at people’s Facebook photos without masturbating… I don’t know why you’ve automatically decided he was maturbating while looking at them! Have a chat with him before jumping to conclusions. 

And remember there is a difference between fantasy and real life.

Post # 11
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

How do you know he was using them to masturbate? Maybe he was just curious and looking. My Darling Husband and I do this all the time – we look at random people when bored.

Seems pretty crazy to jump to the masturbation conclusion.

Post # 12
Member
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@oriskany:  I think you have to give your guy the benefit of the doubt.  I have lots of links to my female friends in bikinis, but it’s because I want to see where they vacationed.  I think the only way to clear this up is to be open about it.  It’s probably more harmless than you think.  That being said, if he really was using these pictures to get off, I would probably be upset too.

Post # 14
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think you need to talk to him about this, but I wouldn’t assume that he used the pictures to “do the deed.” I doubt that is what he used them for. He was probably just looking at the photos.

Post # 15
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@oriskany:  Hang on, though: how do you know he was using these pictures to “get off” and wasnt just browsing through photos of bikini-clad girls?

Post # 16
Bee
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@oriskany:  My Darling Husband does that and it doesn’t bother me. But he does it when I’m sitting next to him on the couch. Talk to your SO about it and as long as you keep communication open, and you make it clear what you are and aren’t comfortable with, you shouldn’t have any issues.

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