- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2017
My one year wedding anniversary is coming up soon and I can’t help but feel… disappointed?
There were things that I really liked about my wedding but over all it wasn’t what I wanted.
First off the time of year was complete opposite, I wanted a fall wedding but got a spring wedding (husbands request)
I originally wanted a black dress, but I was fought with to get a white dress (eventually compromised with soft pink and ivory). Even when I tried to compromise on a tea length white gown I was told no(my parents helped pay for it so I didn’t get 100% in the say). I do like my dress, but it just wasn’t me.
I wanted it overall to be a small intimate wedding at a flower garden that was 45 minutes away, it was a hotel in my husband’s hometown. It had a courtyard which was okay I guess. The wedding was large too.
Got married in a Christian church, which I fought tooth and nail for not to happen because I don’t even believe in Christianity, but was told that if I’m marrying into a Christian family I needed to get married in their church(my family is old school Catholic and very set in their ways). Plus, after raising the guest count from what I originally wanted the church was a cheap option.
Most of the wedding day we spent taking pictures which I don’t like most of them, and really haven’t wanted to hang any in my house. I cringe at most of them because they’re too posed and unnatural feeling.
My made of honor didn’t seem to even want to be there and she refused to pay for anything(it was just the dress, which SHE picked the most expensive dress out of the bridesmaids)even though she agreed when she said she’d be my Maid/Matron of Honor. She’s my older sister and we haven’t talked since shortly after the wedding.
I know I shouldn’t really hold up on those things, I overall was okay with my wedding. I don’t really gush about it, I never really have. But every time I see a picture I think “The isn’t what I pictured my wedding like.” I feel very detached from the pictures, very little about the wedding had my personality in it and I can’t help but feel a little bitter about it.
I know I’m the end of the day I’m still married to the man I love but I can’t help thinking about how it really wasn’t what I expected.