Post # 1
I am happily in a relationship, all is going well, my boyfriend is the most decent human being ever and things are so easy. I wish, really wish that I had realised this is what relationships should be like and not like the unhealthy, toxic relationship I had been in previously.
Whilst it’s been 10 months of being with my new man, I still get moments where I think back to previous toxic relationship and think ‘urgh’ or ‘seriously’ – one of those moments I feel like I need to share as it still bugs me and is my biggest…WTF moment I’ve ever experienced.
So I love steak and so did my ex boyf. For his birthday (we lived in the UAE) I took him to a really lush hotel that was renowned for its steak restaurant. I paid for our dinner on the night of his birthday (as I had done the year before) he ordered a steak – one of the best you could have and he proceeded to eat it. But rather than eat it, he chewed and chewed and then spat it back out on to the plate. He did that with every mouthful. He told me that he was enjoying the taste of it but didn’t want to be bloated.
I remember thinking at the time, that’s so embarrasing because the chef etc would be totally like wtf?! to see someone’s chewed up food on the play. Surely? But I totally bought it. Didn’t question it or anything. Just sat, thought it was odd and continued to pay the bill.
Now I look back and think – it was hugely disrespectful as I was paying for the meal and he laughed the whole thing off.
Anyway…I felt like I had to share that story and see what others thought. Anyone else experience weird things their exes did in unhealthy relationships?
Post # 2
TeachingBee2628 : didn’t something like this happen in sex and the city? I think Miranda went on a date with a bloke and he chewed his steak but spat it out
Post # 3
TeachingBee2628 : are you sure he didn’t have an eating disorder? Sounds very odd and concerning. Did he chew and spit/regurgitate his food often?
Either way good riddance and congrats on your amazing relationship.
Post # 4
lifeisbeeutiful : haha no thankfully…he only did it the once!! I think if it had have been normal I would have thought there was something wrong. Ha yes indeed 😂
Twizbe : really? I’ve got the boxset. May have to check this out. Haha.
Post # 5
TeachingBee2628 : well that’s just so nasty then. I would have left him for good right at that moment.
Post # 6
TeachingBee2628 : I just looked it up and it’s season 3 episode 14 lol
Post # 7
TeachingBee2628 : wow. I know a male that does this (at home) and yes, he has an eating disorder.
I’ve never run into anything exceedingly “weird”.
Stuff about which I wish I had listened to my gut screaming at me to RUN:
-negging of any kind
-criticizing my makeup and clothing choices
-being on the phone constantly
-unhealthily bound to their mother and/or rude to their mother
-domination fantasies. (*i do believe these can be played out in healthy ways, but 98.8888% of men I’ve encountered that want a “sub” have been been deeply insecure -though they may appear confident – and have a strong desire for unhealthy control outside of the bedroom.)
ETA!! I thought of a weird one!! Yeeeeears ago I went on a couple of dates with a seemingly “normal” guy who casually dropped the fact that he was into stealing things. Like… would go into Target, buy multiple items and casually pocket a package of whitestrips. He enjoyed the rush. OMG. I could not believe my ears. And he was so nonchalant about it! PASS.
Post # 8
My ex and I planned a holiday together after we’d been together for two years (in our mid-20s). It was to a place his family had happy memories of and he wanted to share it with me.
Anyway, he called me a few months after we’d booked it, and said he’d mentioned to his Mom that we were going, and that she wanted to go.
The accommodation was small and I viewed it as a couples weekend (we were long distance so time together was precious). So I said, wouldn’t it be weird for there to be three of us?
Then he said, no, she doesn’t want to come with us. She wants to go instead of you. I’ve already told her yes. We can go another time instead.
So he took his Mom on our holiday, without even discussing it with me beforehand. I was so angry, but clearly not angry enough because it took me another four years to break up with him after his Mom did a million other intrusive things.
Post # 9
That is super weird and would have definitely been the last time I seen that guy if it was me! Does steak even bloat you? What an unhealthy attitude.
I don’t know if I would link it to you paying though, that’s like someone getting pissy at you u because you can’t finish your meal because they paid for it.
Post # 10
Hello Bee! I don’t have anything to comment about the post but that’s really weird, just want to say hello to UAE bee, I don’t think there are many here
Post # 11
secondtimer18 : what the hell!?! That’s crazy!!
Post # 12
When I first started dating my ex, we were both pretty crazy about each other and I invited him to join me on a trip with my friends (only dated for 3 months at the time and first time meeting these friends of mine) During the trip he got mad at me in front of my friends because he apparently thought I was pointing out a pimple on his ear in front of my friends and was visibly upset which made it very awkward for my friends and confusing to me. He also got super impatient because my friends were a bit slow at the airport check point and got pissy at me / us because we cooked and he got tasked with washing the dishes (to be honest it’s not great to just get told that’s your job since everyone else cooked but at the same time he could’ve also showed he can be the bigger person?)
anyway, so many red flags that showed that he was just a petty insecure person early on but I ignored it all lol…
Post # 13
secondtimer18 : Oh god I dated (and almost married) someone like this. It took me years to figure out that he would never share with his mother what we were doing or when we had plans—all so he could be available at her beck and call 24/7. I vividly remember him bailing on my birthday plans because she needed him to do something. 🙄
Same man also despised that I dared to have feelings, and if I tried to broach a subject his response was to threaten a breakup. My husband, in comparison, wants to know exactly what I’m feeling. He’s had to help me learn how to have tough conversations instead of having a fight-or-flight response.
Post # 14
secondtimer18 : logged in just to say WHAT
Post # 15
This whole thread just made me chew and spit out my iphone. Ick!