(Closed) Looking for a church for the wedding…is this offensive?

posted 6 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
4980 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Its definitely not offensive! Some churches won’t marry nonmembers, however. You usually have to ask. If they won’t talk to you,  it’s probably a sign that they don’t (though it’s still rude on their part).

Post # 4
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

It’s not offensive but are you set on a church wedding? It’s a part of your life, but not a MAJOR part if there are any other locations you could check those out too!  Some churches won’t marry non-members though.

Post # 5
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Not offensive, we are currently doing the same thing.  We come from two different religions but don’t really feel comfortable with either of our churches so we have been looking at others in the local area.  Some churches won’t marry non members but just be honest with them and see what they say.

Post # 6
Member
1010 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@TraceyLynn416:  It’s not really rude to ask, some information about the church allowing weddings can be found on their websites, if they have one. Usually they charge a fee for this. It really depends on the church itself. If calling or emailing does not generate a response, try just going there physically. People can’t avoid you as easily. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

It’s not offensive, but I can see why a lot of churches only want to marry members…they know and trust them. 

When contacting the pastors, did you let on that you have no intention of joining their church or even attending any church until some undetermined time down the line? I could see them having a problem with that. They don’t want to turn their church into a community use building.

You can have a Christian wedding anywhere. If you don’t want it outside, there are usually other options. All of our surrounding counties do have community use buildings that are perfect for weddings. Check your county/next county over’s Parks & Recreation department. Ours have beautiful, affordable facilities for weddings!

Post # 8
Member
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@TraceyLynn416:  No it’s not offensive. Most churches are used to non-members asking about weddings, and many (if not most) are happy to do it, though there is often a cost for non-members.

I find it odd that two different churches aren’t responding. Are you communicating in the wrong way? e.g. I can easily imagine some churches having an email which they hardly use. Have you phoned them or visited them in person?

Post # 9
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

You should go to the Church office after a mass or during their office hours.  They may not recognize your name as a memeber so they aren’t calling you back.  We were turned down by three churches because I was moving to the area, and Darling Husband isn’t catholic so he wasn’t a member of the churches therefore we hadn’t been attending for a year.  So we didn’t have a church wedding.

Post # 10
Member
10601 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Many people get married where they don’t even live, so churches are used to it!  Phoning during office hours is usually best I find.  Not all churches have hours M-F 9-5 and the secretaries do get busy.

Post # 11
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Its is usually ok and not offensive.  Fiance is catholic and I am Lutheran and we are getting married in a methodist church.  we talked with the corridantor at the church explained which religon we both where and she said it was ok as their particular church is very laid back and have more of a christian ceremony. We wouldnt need to attend reguarly and the only thing the church asks of us as a couple is to sit downa nd talk with the pastor on three seprate occassions for an hour each. Not to bad to get married in the church I love (its beautiful) 🙂

Advice, if you just talk with the pastor explain what the situation is most of the pastors/priests I talked with were very understanding.

Post # 12
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Like others said, its not offensive, but some churches won’t do it.  What religions are you, and what religions are you looking at?  I’m Lutheran, and my church is willing to marry non-members.  I think Methodists are the same way.

Post # 13
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

forgot to add….. If your looking at Catholic churchs most of them require either you or your Fiance to be catholic religon as well as actively practicing and the catholic churches I was looking at required Fiance to get paperwork from his church back east saying  he was a member and you have to do a weekend course for the church.  I only found this with catholic churches though.  Good Luck :L0

Post # 15
Member
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@TraceyLynn416:  In my experience Epsicopal, Methodist and Baptist churches are all usually pretty open to conducting weddings of non-members. So I think if you make proper contact it should go fairly well.

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