(Closed) Looking for a way to honor a military person who won’t be there

posted 8 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
2719 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m kind of looking for a way to do this too. One of our friends (my MOH’s brother, actually) was going to be a Groomsmen, but found out that he’s going to be deployed to Afghanistan in June, and obviously won’t be back for our wedding (2 months later). I’d kind of like to do something for mine-I’m not sure if it would be weird to make him an honorary Groomsmen

your’s is a little different. I might say putting a note in the program if you’re doing them. Or do a memorial candle, but find one more for memorial, not about the death of someone.

Post # 4
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We are in a similar situation- one of the GM’s is my fiance’s cousin who is in the military and may not be able to get leave for our wedding. Our reception venue has wireless capabilities so we were thinking of surprising my fiance by getting his cousin to deliver his well wishes to us on a the big screen via Skype. Not sure what your venue situation is, but you could always ask him to pre-record something and then play it at the reception. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I do NOT think that is cheesy.

Now, this may not work for a living person, but I just toasting glasses with the names of deceased people etched in them. I really liked the idea that the couple would raise a glass to their dearly departed all night.

So, my adaptation (which I’m not sure will work) is a yellow ribbon tied on a glass. just a thought, but I think the yellow rose is lovely.

Post # 7
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think the yellow rose idea is great! I’m sure he will appreciate it, knowing that all of you are thinking of him, despite the distance. 

Post # 8
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Have your Maid/Matron of Honor wear the yellow ribbon and you can work in a line into the ceremony about being thankful and thinking of those present only in spirit as they are halfway around the world, ensuring our saftey etc. (Or it can be an announcement during the reception.)  But if I were that Maid/Matron of Honor, I’d want to be wearing that ribbon or rose.

Post # 9
Member
465 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I love the idea of her wearing a ribbon! A good number of our friends will also be deployed. I haven’t decided how to address it. I think the “reserved” sign is really neat, too. Not at all cheesy!

Post # 10
Member
815 posts
Busy bee

I think the yellow rose idea is great!  Or if you want to get crafty, how about making a bunch of yellow ribbons for people to wear? Leave them in a basket next to the programs, with a note attached that briefly describes what they are for.  People can take them if they want and wear them.  I hope I get to hear more ideas tonight!  FH is most likely going to be deployed when my Maid/Matron of Honor gets married this November, and I’m her Maid/Matron of Honor.  If I saw people wearing yellow ribbons I think I’d be overwhelmed. Ok, I’m getting all emotional now. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Often in the military they set a table up for the POW/MIAs that has a reserved seat and a rose in a vase.  I think that setting a seat aside for him with a yellow rose is a great tribute, and making the rose yellow definitely points out that he isn’t dead, just missed.  You may also put his service photo in a frame at the seat so people know why it is reserved.

Post # 13
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

San Diego the yellow rose sounds like a really nice tribute.  I love the ribbon idea too. 

My first choice Maid/Matron of Honor is an army wife and couldn’t fly out from Germany for our wedding so I mentioned her and her hubby in the program, and I worked in their names and a prayer for those in the miltary into one of our readings.  I also honored her parents who were there to represent her by giving them boutonniers and having them sit at the head table at the reception.  It sounds like a lot but this girl is my childhood friend and practically a sister.

God Bless Our Troops!!!

Post # 14
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

There’s always the old yellow ribbons around the trees! I think my brother will be here but if he’s not we happen to have a big tree right in the middle of where the ceremony will be soooo . . .

If it’s a family member then there’s a special flag you can have displayed or wear pins, it’s called the Blue Star Service Flag (or Gold Star Service Flag) I copied some info below from a website forum:

A Service Flag in the United States is an official banner that family members of service members in harm’s way can display.[1] The flag or banner is defined as a white field with a red border, with a blue star for each family member in active duty. A gold star (with a blue edge) represents a family member that died during service, without specifying cause of death. The deceased might have been killed in action, or died due to unrelated causes.

The Service Flag can also be called a Blue Star Service Banner or a Gold Star Service Banner depending on the color of stars. At times it was called Son(s) in the Service, no longer considered proper.

The banner was designed in 1917 by United States Army Captain Robert L. Queisser of the Fifth Ohio Infantry, in honor of his two sons who were serving in World War I. It was quickly adopted by the public and by government officials. On September 24, 1917.

Post # 15
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I was thinking of doing a dance to honor ALL the vets in the crowd- like Michael Buble’s “Home” (not super cheezy, but evey vet understands how much we want to be home)  I bet you’d be suprised how many of the older crowd will join.  All my uncles are Vietnam vets, my FH’s grandfather is a WWII vet, my SIL, my brother, my dad and lots of my friends are vets.  When you announce the dance and invite all the vets up to dance you could do it in honor of your friend’s husband and make sure you have someone set to dance with her!

Post # 16
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

The POW/MIA table that Mightysapphire mentioned is a very formal now tradition that the military will typically set out at dinner functions. You can google it and find out more about it. I am from a military family, I myself just seperated due to injury a couple months ago now, Fiance is still Active duty, and I am thinking about doing this at my wedding. Basic breakdown of the most common things to have on it and what they mean are, and what is properly said about them:

LET US REMEMBER THE MEN AND WOMEN PRISONERS OF WAR FROM ALL BRANCHES OF SERVICE THAT ARE TOO OFTEN FORGOTTEN. LET US REMEMBER THEM.

THE TABLE CLOTH IS WHITE, SYMBOLIZING THE PURITY OF THEIR INTENTIONS TO RESPOND TO THEIR COUNTRY’S CALL TO ARMS — SO THAT THEIR CHILDREN COULD REMAIN FREE. REMEMBER.

THE LONE CANDLE SYMBOLIZES THE FRAILTY OF A PRISONER ALONE, TRYING TO STAND UP AGAINST HIS OPPRESSORS. REMEMBER. 

THE BLACK RIBBON ON THE CANDLE REMINDS US OF THOSE WHO WILL NOT BE COMING HOME. REMEMBER

THE SINGLE ROSE REMINDS US OF THE LOVED ONES AND FAMILIES OF OUR COMRADES IN ARMS WHO KEEP THE FAITH AND AWAIT THEIR RETURN. REMEMBER

A SLICE OF LEMON IS ON THE BREAD PLATE TO REMIND US OF THEIR BITTER FATE — IF WE DO NOT BRING THEM HOME. REMEMBER

THERE IS SALT ON THE PLATE, SYMBOLIC OF THE FAMILY’S TEARS AS THEY WAIT AND REMEMBER.

THE GLASSES ARE INVERTED. THEY CANNOT TOAST WITH US TONIGHT — MAYBE TOMORROW, IF WE REMEMBER

THE RED, WHITE AND BLUE RIBBON IS TIED TO THE FLOWER VASE BY A YELLOW RIBBON THAT WAS WORN BY THOUSANDS WHO AWAITED THEIR RETURN. REMEMBER

REMEMBER THOSE WHOM WE DEPENDED ON IN BATTLE. THEY DEPEND ON US TO BRING THEM HOME.

REMEMBER OUR FRIENDS. THEY ARE THE ONES WE LOVE — WHO LOVE LIFE AND FREEDOM AS WE DO.

THEY WILL REMEMBER WHAT WE DO. PLEASE HONOR AND REMEMBER THEM.

– I know it may sound a little dreary, but it is a very respectful military tradition and any service member or patriot will repect. Just some info for you seeing that it was mentioned, however I do think its a VERY lovely ideas to reserve the seat and have a single rose there. God bless you!

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