Looking for advice for a difficult situation

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

GooteyBootey :  In my country (and, I suspect, in yours) there’s a child protection / family services type department you can notify, usually anonymously, to alert of children in dangerous situations such as abuse or neglect.

Post # 4
47202 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

GooteyBootey :  If I were SIL I would call Child Protective Services (by whatever name they go by where you live), alert them to the pregnancy and voice my concerns about the home environment.

Post # 5
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Definitely CPS or the equivalent.

Post # 6
2332 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I would have reported them to animal welfare for the dog alone, let alone children

Post # 7
9718 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Why the hell don’t they just hire a cleaning service?! Living in filth because you can’t agree on whose turn it is to clean – how old are they?!

Anyway, your sister could call animal welfare now and maybe that would be thier wake up call for the baby. I don’t know what CPS could do before the baby is born though.

Post # 8
5951 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Hit them with the triad:

Code enforcement would be terribly interested in the condition of their home as its a potential fire hazard, health hazard and general safety hazard to the neighborhood. Notify their city Coden Enforcement Officer immediately.

Animal Protection would also be worth a call as it is likely the dog is also unvaccinated/licensed.

Child Protective Services – because yeah – obviously that’s no place for a child.

And finally – you can even call adult protective services as these two are in no way taking care of themselves either….

Post # 9
47202 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

GooteyBootey :  Child and Family services monitors high risk pregnancies here. High risk for the child, that is. The goal is for early intervention which can make a difference.

Post # 10
650 posts
Busy bee

If you’re in the U.S. the local county can condemn the property and bar anyone from entry based on the health hazards presented.  Child and Family services need to be alerted as well so they can regularly monitor the state of the home.  Filth like what you’re describing is the result of mental illness and/or substance abuse so the mom is definitely in need of professional services for the sake of the child. 

Post # 11
2128 posts
Buzzing bee

Nona99 :  This! 🙌 They sound like hoarders. Poor dog, poor baby. Start calling now so that they have a record before the baby is born. 

Post # 12
4028 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

This sounds like a deeper hoarding issue than just that two people cannot agree with who should clean up.

Hoarding is the result of an extremely difficult mental issue that needs to be addressed very very quickly. I highly doubt this is a new problem and has probably been going on for very long.

There needs to be an intervention before the baby is born for sure although i don’t know how easy it’s going to be to convince them to clean up and get help…

Post # 13
127 posts
Blushing bee

They sound like hoarders. Ironically, I’ve been binge watching the Hoarders tv show the last couple of weeks.

From the degree that you have described it (letting fecal matter pile up for months on end) mice running rampant, and trash everywhere, they have a severe mental illness that needs to be addressed ASAP. This is definitely something that will get worse with time, and not fixed unless authorities and therapists are involved.

I’d say that your SIL should call the city code enforcement people (they will come out and inspect the propert), animal control (there’s no way that dog is being cared for properly or not in a dangerous and bad environment), child protective services (that way, they will be monitored and checked on), and adult protective services (they are in an unsafe situation themselves). Ideally, they need to get to therapy as well, to someone who is specialized in compulsive hoarding, as the rest of this is more of a bandaid and not addressing the illness. Does their family know how bad it is?

Authorities and therapists definitely need to get involved, it is no way fair for an innocent child to be brought into this toxic environment if people knew about it but didn’t do anything. 

I’m sorry they are in such a tough situation, hopefully this helps!

Post # 14
6495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I’m not sure it is fair to wait until the child is born and then call CPS if you haven’t done anything to address the situation prior to that. Someone should at least attempt to get them help. If they will not, then try to report code/fire violations and see if you can get anything done. Only after those attempts were made (BEFORE the delivery of the child), would I call CPS (though I definitely would if nothing had improved before the baby was born).

Post # 15
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 1993

Call CPS now and give them a wake up call and a chance to change. CPS should keep an eye on things. 

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