(Closed) Looking for advice on this situation

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
771 posts
Busy bee

This is such a tough one since he and your husband are friends too. Personally, I wouldn’t say anything. He didn’t approach you with it, he approached your mother. Clearly he was emotional around the time of the wedding, possibly stressed if he was involved with arrangements (and was he tipsy when they had the conversation?). I know it will be hard not to think about, but unless he brings it up with you directly, leave it be. 

As as for telling your husband, that’s your call. I don’t know what the answer is. I would hate to keep secrets from my partner, but you could end up ruining their friendship and your own if your husband reacts badly (which I would do, tbh, in his shoes). Frankly, your friend was silly telling your mother, and she definitely should never have told you. What does it achieve? Still, what’s done is done, and you married the man you love. Let the rest go. 

Post # 3
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

I think I’d let it go.  Although it’s a bit low on his part to have said anything – what did he hope to achieve? It doesn’t seem like any harm has been done so I would not mention it.

Post # 4
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I wouldn’t say anything. Ultimately, it would just embarrass your friend ( as you are now married and clearly can’t start anything), hurt your husbands feelings, and make things awkward with your husband and his friend. There’s really nothing that can come out of it to be honest. Ask yourself, “What’s the point?” With time hopefully your friend will meet the woman of his dreams and you could all be friends. 

Post # 5
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I legit could have written this post.  Every detail!  So weird.

I ignored what he said (it was to a friend, not my mom though) and just pretended it never happened.  I casually talked about it with my Darling Husband once and he was like “um, you didn’t know he felt that way?  It’s been obvious since I met you.”  So I was the only one who didn’t know.

Things are okay with the two of them still, but part of that could be that the friend is now engaged to a lovely young lady (who does NOT like me).  Idk.  We hang out maybe once a month, so it’s not like we’re around each other all the time.  The whole thing is weird but we just moved forward and things have been okay thus far.  Hahaha.

Post # 6
927 posts
Busy bee

I would pretend you don’t know about it. I don’t know what he thought telling your mum at your wedding (maybe just a bit tipsy and emotional and it all just poured out?) or what your mum thought telling you would achieve. 

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