- 6 years ago
- Wedding: January 2017
I’ve been with my SO for 5 1/2 years now. I am 30 and SO is 32. We just recently moved in together 5 months ago. He knew I was looing at places within my means for quite a while, and came to me one day and said he’d like to look at places together. When we started looking at places, he was nervous and kind of freaking out. He does not deal well with change and not being in control (I can relate, I’m the same way!) He acted the same way when he changed jobs, and was anxious, uncertain, and nervous. Before we signed the year lease, We talked things out, and he expressed fears that he didn’t want it to be permanent, and that he didn’t want to settle here in our state for ever, but that he wanted to take this step with me. He’s expressed this before, when I’ve brought up where we were heading. I’ve tried to explain that I just couldn’t move over 800 miles away when I feel uncertain about where we’re going together and I’m always questioning where I stand in his life and priorities. I’ve stated to him that I would not move as a girlfriend or sign a mortgage with someone who’s not my life partner or husband. We had a talk recently (that I initiated) and I expressed that I want him to understand, it’s not about the ring, as much as it’s about the reassurance one where I stand with him, and that he wants a future with me. He’s at a job he’s unhappy with, which he brought up again, and said he cannot tell me or promise me what the future will bring. I’m constantly driving myself crazy, always wondering what’s holding him back, and what’s wrong with me that I’m not good enough for him! I’ve been super emotional lately, and he’s noticed, which is why we’ve talked again, I just needed to get everything off my chest. I just feel like this far in, we should be talking about what we do and do not want, future goals, etc. I’ve taken a break, and said I will not pester or bother him, will keep a reign on my emotions, and will not initiate another conversation about this until January, a month before our lease renewal. I told him I want to discuss mutual timelines, goals & wants for our future, and that if we cannot discuss this before February’s lease renewal, I may not resign. I’ve gotten everything out on the table, not I’m just trying my hardest to keep cool while I’m dying on the inside!!!