Looking for etiquette advice. What's the right way to word this?

posted 9 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
47188 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

beebee147 :  The correct title for the event to convey that information would be “no host” The problem is that many younger people won’t know wht that means. Scheduling the after -party in the same venue, also makes it a lot harder to differentiate.

Post # 3
Member
4499 posts
Honey bee

Usually something like that is conveyed By Word of Mouth since that is not actually a hosted wedding event. Sometimes the DJ will make an announcement during the reception  something to the effect of  the bride and groom will be hanging out at such-and-such bar  after the wedding if anyone would like to meet up with them. So I would not have it in the invitation itself nor would it be something listed on the page where you RSVP. There’s no reason for it to be something they indicate whether or not they’re going to since you weren’t paying.  If you do want to list it on your wedding website (but I would be hesitant to do it), I would make a miscellaneous page and put it there with something very informal about how the two of you plan to hang out at such-and-such a place after the wedding if anyone is interested in tagging along.

I’m a little confused as to why you felt the need to time your actual reception to accommodate younger and/or older folk though. Everyone knows that they are party guests and not hostages and are free to leave whenever they like. People who don’t want to be up late dancing just simply leave after dinner and cake and a few dances. There was no need to time your party to accommodate their wanting to leave early.

 

Post # 4
Member
6602 posts
Bee Keeper

I would spread that by word of mouth. Once you start including invites or printing it, it looks very “official” which looks like youre hosting. 

Post # 6
Member
7413 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Just put the end time of the event you are paying for. People who are big partiers will probably already be assuming that someone will get an afterparty group together, and they’ll have planned  accordingly; and if they planned to go somewhere else, they’ll probably change their minds and stick around once they hear that other people will be sticking around too. It’s a confusing scenario but will be quite a bit more confusing if your invite has the afterparty info. 

Post # 7
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Yeah I wouldn’t mention this on your invite – just use word of mouth since it’s a casual thing. We did something similar the night before our wedding and just told people in person or via text that we were heading to x bar if they wanted to drop by. It worked fine!

By the way, I think a wedding that begins at 3:30 and ends at 9pm is 100% reasonable! Those are not weird hours for a wedding so I wouldn’t worry about that part of it, esp since you’re planning to go out afterwards.

Post # 8
Member
12121 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I would not include this on or in the wedding invitation. Just convey individually or by word of mouth that you will be in another area of the venue after the wedding if anyone wants to join you. 

Post # 10
Member
751 posts
Busy bee

Ours just says “after our dinner reception we will see where the night takes us!” But we will likely be changing locations so that’s easier to sort out. 

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