- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2018
I’d be a little careful for two reasons. I’m not saying don’t let them meet, but think about all potential results.
1. You are tying yourself and your children to another family. In order for the kids to see each other you and their mother will have to participate. Not necessarily bad, but introducing them while you have to facilitate the relationship means that you could end up spend a lot of time with the whole family.
2. You tell your children that your ex husband is the “dad who helped make them” which seems like a good way to talk about it neutrally that hopefully doesn’t make them feel resentful or conflicted about not seeing your ex. I’d want to know a little more about how this woman talks to her son about the same situation? Does she speak angrily? Does her son want his father to visit? I’d consider how alternate stories about their bio-dad might make them feel. I have a similar “dad who helped make me” and my mom worked pretty hard to remain neutral. Whereas my bio-dad’s second wife, who he divorced quite recently, says awful things about her ex in front of their kids and I know they are really hurt by it. If I was younger I know that I would’ve been pretty devastated if I heard those words from them, even if I didn’t have a relationship with him at all.