(Closed) Looking to uninvite someone to my wedding

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
682 posts
Busy bee

@cmsciulli  LOL My neice is the one who started it. I texted her asking for her email to send her a victoria’s secret gift card, instantly, (they live 3 hours away) so she could use it righ t away ( for her bday)…then she replied back. Fuck you and fuck your wedding. i don’t want anything to do with it…blah blah blah…that started it.  

I didn’t have any contracts planned…but calendars were cleared and meetings were set up withe vendors…so we had to make sure they had another date open.  

We had NO idea that she was graduating. She’s a junior right now…so for me to even know this information for 2014  and to do it on purposs, blows my mind

 

Oh, and I ended up taking the VS money and buying myself something after her nasty little text back to me…

Post # 48
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

@jmaze:  http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6pid35QyH1rqfhi2o1_400.gif

 

Oh.My.

That’s a gem of a family- I’m sorry!

 

Post # 49
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Is he in a serious relationship and that is why he is all butt hurt about this? I would ask him why he would even want to go to a wedding of a person he thinks so shitty of due to the names he called you. Then I would tell him to eff off and not invite him.

 

Post # 50
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@SmthngBlu8:  The problem you run into is that you should not be the one to judge what is and isn’t a serious relationship. My Fiance and I were extremely serious at 3 months, had discussed future plans such as getting married and moving in together. I would be pretty offended if someone I was close enough to invited me but not my s/o because she deemed us “not serious enough”.

Post # 51
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

And, FWIW, the very first thing we did was write up the guest list. The most important thing to me was having everyone we cared about there at our wedding. Everything else was based on the guest list.

Post # 52
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It depends how important he is in your life, and if you want them to be there on that day and celebrate you on your day. Is this worth your friendship? If you uninvite him, you might lose a friend. & If you do just let him do a + 1 now so he will shut his mouth, I think it would be okay to not here him nagging anymore, because chances are…not all 140 can come.

Post # 53
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@onourway13:  Actually as the person paying for and providing this event, I believe I do have the right to make that call. Would I ever tell someone that I don’t think their relationship is serious? Of course not! But a relationship IS proven with time whether it ends up in marriage/civil union or not. All I am saying is, brides with budgets have to draw the line somwhere. I personally don’t have the money to turn a guest list of 200 into 325. And no, it’s not rude. If you live together, are engaged, and/or married there’s your +1. If not, I’m sorry if you’re disappointed but if you’re that great of a friend you would understand.

Post # 54
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@SmthngBlu8:  You have 125 single guests out of 200? Man. Most of our friends are already married, but if they weren’t I would be making sacrifices elsewhere. We have a very low budget for a wedding with 175 guests. Having my friends and family there is more important to me than a fancy venue or fancy catering. But, if you have that many single people you are inviting I guess that’s just not a situation I would be familiar with at all.

As a friend, if I were invited sans s/o and would hardly know anyone there I would probably decline. Or, at least see if I could attend the ceremony. My personal comfort is more important than the anxiety I would feel being alone with no one I knew. I don’t do well in situations like that. Of course, if my friend didn’t already know I would explain that. But, my friends wouldn’t do that in the first place.

Post # 56
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@onourway13:  Not an exact number, obviously. And who said I had a fancy venue? Now you’re just being snarky. We happen to have a lot of siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, all in the age gap of 15- 20 years old. So sorry if I don’t want to invite their “flavor of the week” And out of the ENTIRE guest list, not one person has considered this to rude or “poor etiquette” They are just excited to be able to celebrate such a special day with us, friends and family.

Post # 57
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@TypeABride2013:  Oh ok, was a little confused by the situation.  But either way, he doesn’t need to speak to(rudely, might I add) you FOR her. Not your fault that the relationship started after you sent save the dates. You did a very polite thing by explaining that you would extend the invite after seeing what your final head count is. 

Post # 58
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

 

@TypeABride2013:  Your friend was way out of line, then.  You handled the situation appropriatley with the friend who now has a SO.  I think you were very gracious in that resepct, and I hope that the nasty friend declines so that this other coiuple can join you together 😛

View original reply
@SmthngBlu8:  You don’t need to invite the SO’s of children under 18 if you don’t wish to, and it wouldn’t be seen as rude.  Children under 18 are considered to be in a social unit with their families.

Post # 59
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@SmthngBlu8:  Honestly, I really wasn’t trying to be snarky. I am pretty sure the “plus one” conversation applies to adults. Not high schoolers. I don’t think its so much of a big deal for family as it is for friends that more than likely won’t know the majority of the guests. I’m not one to judge who invites who, I was just stating a reason for not just going by the “married, engaged, living together” rule.

Luckily, as I said most of our guests are married and I think we may have like 4 guests that are truly single, so plus ones shouldn’t be a big deal!

 

Post # 60
Member
554 posts
Busy bee

@jmaze:  Wow. First of them all, wtf? If I ever got rude and used profanity with an aunt, or any adult relative, I don’t even want to think about what my parents would do to me. That is unacceptable, and I’m sorry that your neice is such a selfish brat. Secondly, how does a junior know when the actual date of graduation will be for the next year? Third, weddings trump graduations. I barely remember my graduation. I hope things turn out well for you…but with that behavior, it’d be an uphill battle to say the least.

 

View original reply
@onourway13:  +1. Same here. My SO and I were very serious within a few months of dating, and there’s been occasions where I’ve been hurt by not being formally invited to one particular relative’s events. I was her friend BEFORE i started dating my SO, so it is doubly hurtful to be pushed aside like that when we are obviously a social unit at this point. 

Post # 61
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@TypeABride2013:  This is an easy one: it’s your wedding, your big day. Invite who you want! let the dust settle a bit though and then decide 

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