(Closed) Looong Engagements, the good, the bad

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 47
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

We are 6 months into our 23 month engagement! 

The good: 

  • Lots of time to look around for ideas & prices before booking anything
  • I am really busy with school, so for me – the more time the better
  • Less stress since I can space my planning out
  • More time to save money
  • I love being engaged πŸ™‚ So overall, our long enagement doesn’t bother me all that much

The bad:

  • I honestly feel like we suddenly went from hearing “Oh wow! You have LOTS of time to plan” to “Oh wow! That’s coming up fast!”
  • It is really long. I just wanna be married already some days!
  • My ideas change a lot (decor & colours for example)
  • Bridal party. Pro tip: wait to choose. 

Post # 48
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Best: we got our dream venue and we had lots of time to make decisions at the same time as working and studying, so it felt less pressured. 

Worst: I am so bored of wedding admin now. 

Post # 49
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@wabanzi:  Got engaged in 2011; marrying this year.

The best/good thing about a longer engagment is:

  • No need to wedding plan straight away. We got engaged in 2011 and we didn’t decide to actually start planning until a year ago. We waited until we felt like it!
  • Just enjoying the ride. Being engaged didn’t change our relationship much – it just made our commitment, which was already very deep to begin with, official to our friends and family. If anything, it made us more excited for our future together – that we’d decided that the other person was a sure thing, so there was no need to hurry. We’d decided on “forever” long before we got engaged – now it was just official to everyone else outside our relationship.
  • No wedding stress! I didn’t even seriously investigate wedding dresses or anything like that until last month πŸ™‚
  • Time to save money. Oh yeah. And fit another holiday or two in between because why not!

The hardest/worst thing about a longer engagement is:

  • People asking when we’ll be getting married and then looking at us all shocked when we tell them we haven’t decided on anything yet!
  • People asking me about my dress. Leave me alone! πŸ˜›

No serious complaints, really!

Post # 51
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

We’re about 10.5 months into a 22 month engagement (uuuuuugh).

Good things – you have plenty of time to plan, you can take “breaks” from wedding planning if you want (i love wedding planning, but I have to take off wedding planning from April-August for my final exams and the bar exam, so the extra months of planning is giving me piece of mind), and when vendors get pushy you can just tell them how far away your wedding is and some of them will back off lol.

Bad things – I am not a patient woman so the wait has been very difficult. We just want to be married! And yeah, for the first few months people kind of heard the date and dismissed it. It got better at the 12-13 month mark.

Post # 52
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Love this topic! I debated it a lot before we got engaged, but now we are 5 months into a two-year engagement. It is FLYING by!

Pros: I have honestly loved it so far. We got engaged young (22) so we aren’t in a huge rush, plus we had job hunting and will be going through the home buying process next year. So this has allowed us to space everything out stress-free.

Surprisingly, no one was weird about the engagement length, and they ask us regularly about our plans. Also, we are getting all of our dream vendors, so that’s awesome! Totally worth the hefty wait time.

Cons: The patience. Ohhhh, the gobs of patience you have to dig up. It’s a challenge, but again, it’s going by fast. I can’t believe we’ll be able to say our wedding is a year and a half away instead of two years soon. I always thought it would be eternally two years away!

My tip? Don’t wait to plan! We love getting things out of the way for this. If we had nothing to do the last month of our engagement but enjoy our parties, I would be thrilled. Of course, I know that definitely won’t happen πŸ˜‰ But I think I will really be happy we took this time to get settled into post-grad life without a wedding looming too quickly.

Post # 53
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We just passed the 16 months engaged mark, and we’re having a 20 month engagement.

The good: I was able to spread our planning out and take my time deciding on colors, details, etc.

The bad: I was able to take my time deciding on colors, details, etc.. haha

I changed our colors probably 5 times, the last time I changed them was the week before we ordered the bridesmaids dresses.

Because I had so much time, I also fell ill with dress regret. I’ve also bought 3 different pairs of wedding earrings, I keep changing my mind.

I’m too indecisive to have a long engagement–we should have just eloped!

Post # 54
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
@wabanzi:  This is a great tip! I feel a little silly with my planners and my binders, but they really have come in handy. Especially a year from now.

Post # 55
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@wabanzi:  

My engagement, start to finish, will span 19 months.

The best/good thing about a longer engagement is (was) — I didn’t feel rushed right from the get go and I had time to plan and save.

The hardest/worst thing about a longer engagement is (was) — The waiting at first and then the time I had on my hands to think about it. Oh Lord. I cannot wait a moment longer to finalize my menu, invites, registry, shower dates, bachelorette party date, etc… and yet, I will continue to wait. The agony!!

Post # 56
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

We are having a about 17 month engagement….

 

Good: Time to save money and I don’t have to stress myself out trying to plan a wedding in a short time frame

Best part: I get to enjoy being engaged to the love of my life and not rush the feeling!

 

Bad:  More time for my work to make me fly all over the country (as I’m typing this in Denver Airport!)! But that will probably continue after the wedding too, so never mind… haha I don’t have anything bad about it.  

Post # 57
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

The good, as lots of PP have said, lots of time to save! The bad… Friends getting engaged and married within the time you’re waiting! πŸ™

Post # 58
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My engagement will be 14 months- not long to everyone, but extremely long to me.

Best: Time to save money. We did not have major savings to draw from for deposits, but smaller deposits and paying for things as they came up has been a breeze because we had so much time. I have not been stressed at all. We have been able to research and get what we really want. We got our first choice vendors in a competitive market. 

Worst: Waiting! Time has NOT flown! I have so many ideas, that having extra time has not been a blessing; it is just allowing me time to change my mind. Whoops! Because we are doing a lot of DIY, it’s too easy to go in a different direction when you aren’t up against deadlines. I think changing my mind on things might be driving Fiance crazy! 

 

Post # 59
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
@wabanzi:  haha yeah we have been together almost 8, I guess we like taking our time too πŸ˜› But i’m hoping babies come relatively fast !

Post # 60
Member
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

We are having a 2 year engagement. I’m in school and Fiance is really busy at his job. We’re also doing a Destination Wedding, so we wanted to give everyone enough time to save/plan on coming. (We’ve been invited to DW’s and haven’t been able to go b/c we didn’t get enough notice)

PROS: I can actually get through school and plan without pulling my hair out. We have 17 months to go out of 25 months, and I have a lot of things already done. Fiance is making our wedding website, STDs and Invites and has lots of time to do them

CONS: Some people making comments about me planning things so early (I have to explain to them that THAT IS WHY WE ARE HAVING A LONG ENGAGEMENT! TO PLAN NOW AND NOT LEAVE EVERYTHING TO THE LAST MINUTE!)

I am also really excited to get married to him! While I do think the long engagement is best for us, I want to be his wife already!

Post # 61
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee

Just counted the months – 29 month engagement. 2 years, 5 months. Seems crazy when I look at it like that! 

Best: We ended up moving away from home 5 months after getting engaged, so have only been home to do appointment type planning for 7months. I don’t know how we would have done it if we had a shorter engagement, there is still lots to do (officiant, cake, grooms/men outfits….). We’ll have about 7-8weeks at home before the wedding, it’s going to be a busy summer!! 

Worst: The waiting…I really just want it to be over with already so I can be married and continue on with life! Also, I don’t get to do alot of the DIY things I was imagining since we live in a remote place and Michaels doesn’t have online shopping. Boo! 

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