(Closed) Lose a friend who was your bridesmaid?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee

See my post on the emotional board if you want to hear my story. I don’t feel like tpying it again, it’s long. I too no longer talk to my Maid/Matron of Honor, who I have known since we were kids. And I doubt in the long haul I will talk to my other Bridesmaid or Best Man either. My Moh did 0 before, during and after my wedding and the girl never even once called me after the wedding to see how my honeymoon was, to say she had a goodtime at the wedding, nothing. I felt obligated to have a Bridal Party, didn’t have sisters, cousins or other family I could ask and figured I knew her the longest and we have been close. But there comes a realization that these people are no longer providing healthy, normal friendships and then it’s time to cut them loose. I would rather have no female friends then crappy ones or ones who I have 0 in common with for the sake of having friends. Your sister is right about her. She is selfish, maybe she’s jealous of your life which is why she is acting like this. I would forget about her. It may be hard, but you deserve better. And YOU did NOTHING wrong..

Post # 4
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Honestly, I don’t know how reasonable you are being. To be in your wedding, to stand up there with you, she was going to have to pay for an expensive plane ticket and a dress. She knew that when she accepted, so that’s on her. But for you to further expect that she chip in for your bachelorette party AND get you a gift leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Yes, bridesmaids often throw a party for the bride, but it should never be expected.

And far as your sister feeling she “neglected her bridesmaid duties” what exactly was expected from her seeing as how she was an ocean away??? Sounds like she put in the initial payment for the dress and bought a ticket to attend your wedding, which to me indicates she fulfilled her bridesmaid duties to the best of her ability.

Yes, she should have paid off the balance on the dress, but to be frank, I can’t believe you presented her with a bill for your night out that she was unable to attend.

Post # 5
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I also think you’re overreacting and can’t believe you wanted her to pay for a party she wasn’t even going to be able to attend. Just cut your losses. I agree with Tatum.

Post # 6
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think you need to cut her some slack. She lives across the ocean and her flight was cancelled. No she shouldn’t HAVE to contribute money to anything. No she shouldn’t HAVE to buy you a gift. Some people do if they have the extra cash. Most people don’t have it right now though. So who can blame her? I’m sure she’s not getting her flight money back right away either so i’d give her some time to come around.

Post # 8
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Give her a call. Give her a call or send her an email, and check in with her. Don’t mention the wedding, put it behind you. Don’t ask her for money for the dress she didn’t get to wear. Honestly, she’s probably as disappointed as you are and may be feeling a bit embarassed. Just remind her that you’re her friend and you miss her. As you said, friendships are precious.

My two cents on the bachelorette party; if I was asked to contribute to a party I wouldn’t see, especially if money was already tight and I was going on a trans-continental trip to get to the wedding, I wouldn’t do it.

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