(Closed) Losing a friend, or realizing I never had one? Need some advice…kinda long

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: To speak or not to speak
    Yes talk to her, dont lose your friendship : (6 votes)
    60 %
    Yes but just to tell her how you feel and walk away : (2 votes)
    20 %
    no, dont waste your time : (2 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    What do you have to lose by making an effort?  It seems like she went through a bad break up where she almost moved away, to moving in with the same guy (and you), to an engagement, and a broken engagement, all within a very short time.  My guess is is that you might remind her of the boy (unfair to you, but you lived with them) which is why she reached out to others when she was trying to move on. You did hang out with her 3 days after her broken engagement, of course she’s going to be out-of-whack.  Stop taking it personally. 

    She seems like a bit of a mess, but a lot of that might stem from her loser man.  I can’t see any harm in at least trying to reach out to her…her life seems to such, i think a good friend would try. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    202 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    *suck, not *such in the last line.  (sorry!)

    Post # 6
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Sorry to hear you are going through this 🙁

    Do you think perhaps she wasn’t turning to you after the final break up as you were in a happy relatioship and she was jealous? Also, you and your partner would have reminded her of the time when she was together with her Ex and it might have been to hard for her.

    Granted, she didn’t handle it very well and I am not disputing that your feelings are hurt (and justified) but just trying to offer some light on why she may have acted like she did.

    From here I would give it a final shot and have a chat with her – I mean you have nothing to lose as arguably it can’t really get worse that it is now huh.

    Hang in there – sounds like you have a keeper of a Fiance, I wold be leaning on him right now if I were you

    Post # 7
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think you can give her a second chance. Maybe she just feels you two have drifted apart. First with her dating mr. wrong and you moving out and also because you are getting married and she is single again. It may be a different relationship than what you had before, but it seems like you care about her and she could really benefit from having you around!

    Post # 8
    Member
    99 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I don’t know, I think maybe you should give her some time. Maybe she feels embarrassed or something that you were right about him or that things didn’t work out?

    Post # 10
    Hostess
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I’m sorry about this!  I would give it another try and if she doesn’t want to put the effort in to fix it, then at least you tried to fix things with her and move on.

    Post # 12
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I dont know – I think you need to act for youself too, relationships are two way so if you want or need to talk to her now then give it a go. Perhaps play it by ear. Approach the subject and see how she reacts.

     

    Dont doubt yourself – if you were selfish then you wouldn’t be on here trying to do the right thing!

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