(Closed) Losing a good friend over money (semi long)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 77
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@jaylinjo: Ugh I’m sorry. I can’t believe she is STILL bugging you for money. Next time I’d just say “Listen I’m not supporting your family anymore, if you need assistance then I suggest talking to your family or government assistance, or have your husband stop doing drugs but I will not be giving you any more money, especially since you still owe me a lot of money, those were loans, not gifts” Hopefully that will shut her up. Geez the fact that she keeps bringing her child and God into this is annoying me.

Post # 78
Member
13224 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Not only are both parents suspected drug users, the mother drove home drunk one night and ruined a car.  I’m with those  concerned enough about this little girl to ask whether you ought to report all this to  social services.  

Post # 79
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@jaylinjo:  She is not a good friend, she is definately taking advantage of you, and your husband is 100% correct. If I were in your shoes I certainly wouldn’t cry over the end of this particular friendhsip.

Post # 80
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@elysion:  

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@julies1949:  +1 these. 

You have done SO MUCH ALREADY. Reading this, it sounds like lengths someone would go to only for a blood relation, like a sibling and even then that would be pushing it. She is using you as a bank. A real friend should and would never ask you for such substantial amounts and ask you to LIE to your husband about finances. Definitely stop this because she is taking advantage of you! Never in a million years would any of this be okay for me to a friend nor them to me. You owe it to yourself to get away from this leech. 

Post # 81
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

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@weddingmaven:  I was thinking this same thing.

OP this woman is quick to throw statements about the well being of her child around, but it sounds as though the best thing for this child would be to be out of that home.

I am sorry that you are having to go through this.  It sounds like she views you as a bank and that you have no right to your own property and that you have an obligation to pay her.

Post # 82
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would stop the enabling immediately!! IMMEDIATELY!! You are not helping them (even though you mean well), you are enabling them to continue living this way. PLease stop and offer to help them get treatment (as in locating a provider, etc NOT MONEY). Let go of the guilt and just do it.

Post # 83
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

I used to have a few friends like that – they are no longer my friends. Real friends don’t use people in that way.

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