Post # 1
A cautionary tale.
A few things jumped out at me. The woman victim in the story was a former Air Force Intelligence Officer. If she can miss the red flags, who among us is immune from scammers?
Older women seem to be especially vulnerable. I suspect part of it is simply because they are more likely to have more money accumulated. And, being divorced or widowed after being part of a couple for a long time might make scammers assume that mature women are more lonely and will be quicker to bite.
The article made me think about the Bees with single moms, aunts, grandmas, and other mature women who may need to see this.
Post # 2
- Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard
This crap happens alot. I hate it so much. I am part of another forum and it feels like someone pops up every month with a story like that one with some dude begging her for money 🙁 and it makes me so angry because when we struggle my best friend keeps telling us he wants to help. And you know what I say? No. I would rather struggle and skip meals to make sure my baby is well fed than take my best friends hard earned money. That’s his. So to hear these scammers lying and taking vulnerable peoples money bothers the crap out of me. Grrr!
Post # 3
sassy411 : I know someone this happened to. A sweet older woman who was on cloud 9 telling everyone she had found herself a ‘gentleman caller who was courting her’. He was a charming business man whose funds, of course, were temporarily tied up with a new business venture. By the time the poor woman found out he was bankrupt with a history of using and defrauding women, she’d depleted nearly 2/3 of a nest egg it took her a lifetime to build and he broke her heart. So many people were suspicious of this guy but couldn’t get her to listen. Even worse than the money she lost was seeing the giddy happy expression on her face replaced by an utterly forlorn mix of pain and shame. (Not that SHE should be the one to feel ashamed but she did).
Post # 4
It happens to older women because older women tend to spend a lot more time alone. Their children have grown up and gotten married, moved away, married and had their own children. I was watching a Dr. Phil episode, on a woman who was scammed and had given a man from from Africa whom she believed was a successful business man all of her money, and was now going to move in with a friend because her house was being foreclosed on for non payment.
Dr. Phil found the man whose photo was stolen, brought him to the show, they went to Africa and tracked down the man who was calling her and using her and she still wouldnt believe she had been scammed. Dr. Phil couldnt even get her to agree to stop sending him money.
I thought it was all very sad.
Post # 5
Oh, these damned “businessmen” with their cash perpetually tied up; I’m pretty sure archeologists found the hieroglyphic version of that line scrawled in caves in ancient ruins.
You need not be on the internet to get hit with that one. Some of these guys are really good. They’re driving luxury cars they conned their last victim to co-sign for and wearing the nice clothes she put on her credit cards. Because, of course, as soon as his big deal closed, he would make it all up to her.
They’re one notch up from Nigerian princes.
I suspect a lot of older women could never see it coming. They never learned to see around the corners. The internet showed up late in their lives. Young people who grew up with it at least have heard some warnings.
It’s a lot easier to fall for a long con than we really want to believe. All of us go through vulnerable times in our lives. It’s so important to keep people in our lives whom we can trust to check reality for us and not just tell us what we want to hear.
Post # 6
sassy411 : and it’s not just ‘older women’. I know plenty of young women in their 20s and 30s (and one man) who were scammed by men in Jamaica and the DR. Love can be blinding for sure.
Post # 7
Bee, in your observation, would you say that the women you know being scammed have any qualities, traits, or anything in common making them especially susceptible?
Post # 8
I also knew a lovely woman whom this happened too. Older, many years divorced and just longing for a romance.
She met this guy across the country online. He would call her from the homeless shelter claiming he volunteered there. In reality he lived there. Claimed to be some bigwig executive in his city.
He “quit” his job to be with her. Somehow this “bigwig” needed her money for the airplane ride. Which he ditched more than once with excuses but finally made his flight eventually one day.
She wouldn’t listen to her friends or coworkers concerns.
He Arrived and moved in immediately. Said that she should sell her house and deposit the funds into a newly created joint bank account. He wanted to buy her a much bigger house he said. He even got a “job” which in reality was just him leaving the house at 8AM everyday and him wondering around downtown til 5pm.
Eventually a concerned friend of ours got her cop husband involved and staged a intervention. Luckily she closed the joint bank account in time but her property was already sold so she had to move anyway into a much smaller property due to the housing market and moving costs. She still claimed she was “in love” with him. She admitted she just craved romance despite the red flags. It still makes me sad.
Post # 9
OMG. How awful. But, thank gawd for the cop friend.
Post # 10
sassy411 : I haven’t read the article yet so I may put my foot in my mouth in a few minutes, but I’m gonna go ahead and be impulsive and say who the hell has $1M sitting around in a place where it can be easily lost/given away in the first place?!
Post # 11
sassy411 : Just my own thoughts on this, but as for any possible common traits that makes some women especially vulnerable, I would say that a basic decency makes them unfortunately susceptible; they think how they would react, how they would behave using their own moral compass as a guide- so in a relationship it’s like they’re playing a game following all the rules without realizing that not everyone has the same integrity.
Another trait I’ve seen, including young women, is that they’re the type to let themselves be consumed by a relationship. His interests become her interests, his friends become her friends, she stops making time for her own friends and families, her own hobbies and interests, she backburners her own goals and dreams and loses all focus of herself. Even in a relationship with a decent guy it’s not healthy, but in a relationship with a selfish guy or even so far as a con man, it’s disastrous.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that these guys young or old seek out traits in the woman that they’re lacking themselves because they can both mirror and manipulate this trait like a sociopath who feeds off empaths.
Post # 13
Mature women, quite often. Women who own businesses; worked their asses off their entire lives; sell/mortgage their houses; borrow; widows who collected life insurance; life savings; retirement funds; investments; many possibilities. The important thing is that there comes a point in life after which should you lose a large sum, there is no realistic chance of making it back.
The woman in the article was 57 when the saga began. Ultimately, she borrowed $100,000 from her parents; they were in their 80s.
Post # 14
I so wish I could put a giant gold star and green flag on your post.
This is so perfectly excellent and spot on.
As a natural born truth teller, I am trusting to the point of stupid. I get it. Being skeptical is something I have had to learn.
The over investment in relationships is something so very common to women, and it causes so much damage. It’s all the result of extraordinary brainwashing. Even in 2019, too many young women are obsessing on relationships or the lack thereof. There is a reason why relationship books are the number one best sellers among non fiction books. And that’s with only half of the population buying them.
All of that said, according to the article, men are more often the victims of online scams. I think the explanations are simpler. The obvious one is the T factor. Then throw in the feeding of the male ego and he’s pretty much a goner.
Men are thoroughly brainwashed, too, just in different ways. I suspect we don’t hear about men being scammed nearly as often as we hear about women victimized. The male ego being what it is, they don’t want to admit they were suckerooed.
Post # 15
I’m an older woman and I can’t see myself sending money to a virtual someone I met online. It just wouldn’t happen, but I’m the most suspicious and skeptical person ever, I am always looking for an ulterior motive. I’d be out of the “relationship ” at the first mention of $93.43. Actually I wouldn’t even be in it in the first place.
I’ve already decided that if something happened to my husband, I wouldn’t marry again and I’d only go out with people I knew in real life, and that’s if I date at all. I’m like my grandmother; I’m fine alone, I don’t need a romantic relationship, I’ve had one for a long time. I’d probably just get more animals. So I’m in more danger of spending $1 million on pet food and vet bills than I am of being fleeced by an online “boyfriend”.