Losing a Million Dollars in an Online Dating Scam

posted 5 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

 This crap happens alot. I hate it so much. I am part of another forum and it feels like someone pops up every month with a story like that one with some dude begging her for money  🙁 and it makes me so angry because when we struggle my best friend keeps telling us he wants to help. And you know what I say? No. I would rather struggle and skip meals to make sure my baby is well fed than take my best friends hard earned money. That’s his. So to hear these scammers lying and taking vulnerable peoples money bothers the crap out of me. Grrr!

Post # 3
827 posts
Busy bee

sassy411 :  I know someone this happened to. A sweet older woman who was on cloud 9 telling everyone she had found herself a ‘gentleman caller who was courting her’. He was a charming business man whose funds, of course, were temporarily tied up with a new business venture. By the time the poor woman found out he was bankrupt with a history of using and defrauding women, she’d depleted nearly 2/3 of a nest egg it took her a lifetime to build and he broke her heart. So many people were suspicious of this guy but couldn’t get her to listen. Even worse than the money she lost was seeing the giddy happy expression on her face replaced by an utterly forlorn mix of pain and shame. (Not that SHE should be the one to feel ashamed but she did). 

Post # 4
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2005

It happens to older women because older women tend to spend a lot more time alone. Their children have grown up and gotten married, moved away, married and had their own children. I was watching a Dr. Phil episode, on a woman who was scammed and had given a man from from Africa whom she believed was a successful business man all of her money, and was now going to move in with a friend because her house was being foreclosed on for non payment. 

Dr. Phil found the man whose photo was stolen, brought him to the show, they went to Africa and tracked down the man who was calling her and using her and she still wouldnt believe she had been scammed. Dr. Phil couldnt even get her to agree to stop sending him money. 

I thought it was all very sad. 

Post # 6
4713 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

sassy411 :  and it’s not just ‘older women’. I know plenty of young women in their 20s and 30s (and one man) who were scammed by men in Jamaica and the DR. Love can be blinding for sure.

Post # 8
1493 posts
Bumble bee

I also knew a lovely woman whom this happened too. Older, many years divorced and just longing for a romance. 

She met this guy across the country online. He would call her from the homeless shelter claiming he volunteered there. In reality he lived there. Claimed to be some bigwig executive in his city. 

He “quit” his job to be with her. Somehow this “bigwig” needed her money for the airplane ride. Which he ditched more than once with excuses but finally made his flight eventually one day. 

She wouldn’t listen to her friends or coworkers concerns.

He Arrived and moved in immediately. Said that she should sell her house and deposit the funds into a newly created joint bank account. He wanted to buy her a much bigger house he said. He even got a “job” which in reality was just him leaving the house at 8AM everyday and him wondering around downtown til 5pm. 

Eventually a concerned friend of ours got her cop husband involved and staged a intervention. Luckily she closed the joint bank account in time but her property was already sold so she had to move anyway into a much smaller property due to the housing market and moving costs. She still claimed she was “in love” with him. She admitted she just craved romance despite the red flags. It still makes me sad. 


Post # 10
2251 posts
Buzzing bee

sassy411 :  I haven’t read the article yet so I may put my foot in my mouth in a few minutes, but I’m gonna go ahead and be impulsive and say who the hell has $1M sitting around in a place where it can be easily lost/given away in the first place?!

Post # 11
827 posts
Busy bee

sassy411 :  Just my own thoughts on this, but as for any possible common traits that makes some women especially vulnerable,  I would say that a basic decency makes them unfortunately susceptible;  they think how they would react, how they would behave using their own moral compass as a guide- so in a relationship it’s like they’re playing a game following all the rules without realizing that not everyone  has the same integrity. 

Another trait I’ve seen, including young women, is that they’re the type to let themselves be consumed by a relationship. His interests become her interests, his friends become her friends, she stops making time for her own friends and families, her own hobbies and interests, she backburners her own goals and dreams and loses all focus of herself. Even in a relationship with a decent guy it’s not healthy, but in a relationship with a selfish guy or even so far as a con man, it’s disastrous. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that these guys young or old seek out traits in the woman that they’re lacking themselves because they can both mirror and manipulate this trait like a sociopath who feeds off empaths. 

Post # 15
3947 posts
Honey bee

I’m an older woman and I can’t see myself sending money to a virtual someone I met online. It just wouldn’t happen, but I’m the most suspicious and skeptical person ever, I am always looking for an ulterior motive. I’d be out of the “relationship ” at the first mention of $93.43. Actually I wouldn’t even be in it in the first place. 

I’ve already decided that if something happened to my husband, I wouldn’t marry again and I’d only go out with people I knew in real life, and that’s if I date at all. I’m like my grandmother; I’m fine alone, I don’t need a romantic relationship, I’ve had one for a long time. I’d probably just get more animals. So I’m in more danger of spending $1 million on pet food and vet bills than I am of being fleeced by an online “boyfriend”.

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