- 4 years ago
(I know I’ve intended to stop using this account, but I don’t want my loved ones to find this and moan at me)
I just had a casual chat with FMIL. And she brought up bridesmaids. I’ve currently only got one, my sister, and told her that. Of course she then said, ‘Oh, what about A?’ Note: A is FI’s cousin, I’ve met her once and didn’t feel any particular bond with her. She’s nice enough, but certainly not BM material. Then FMIL told me about A’s baby sister, B, and how by then she’ll be old enough to be a flower girl. But I’ve already decided I don’t want a flower girl – there are too many young girls in our families and someone’s bound to get offended if they’re not chosen.
I want my sister standing by me, and just her – but at this I couldn’t help but say, ‘Yeah, that sounds good, I suppose’. Of course I immediately expressed to FI that I didn’t want this, and am crossing my fingers hoping that FMIL doesn’t say anything, but I know I’ve made a mistake by even entertaining the idea. Now it’ll be expected, and I’m kicking myself so hard for even allowing it to become an idea.
Meanwhile, my own Mother has told me that we don’t have a say over whether or not we can invite children, and that we ARE going to have them there because she’s scared people will get offended if we don’t. She’s simultaneously told my sister that if she doesn’t want to invite kids to her wedding, she’s under no obligation, and to do what SHE wants. Apparently I don’t get that choice.
I’ve also chatted with a co-worker, and they’ve expressed an interest to come, which I’m happy about, but realising that I’ll also have to invite other co-workers who I really can’t stand just to seem fair is really annoying! Some people will kick up a stink if they’re not invited, and sit and bitch at me all day if they are.
Basically bees, I’ve been engaged less than a week, haven’t even set a date, and already people are trying to call the shots. Does it get better, or worse? And what do I do to reassert myself?