(Closed) Losing Control Already…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

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@TopazTurtle:

Your new to this and many women put themselves in this spot right after getting engaged.  I remember how my family wanted a wedding in less than a year and we decided instead of saying most likely not we entertained the idea for them (it’s been years and they are unamuzed).  Eventually you’ll get use to telling people no and them possible throwing a fit.  At the end of the day as long as your not asking the extreme from your guest I think you deserve to have it the way you both agree to.  If worse comes to worse you could always elope.

Becareful accepting help to pay for it.  Some parents back out when it’s to late and some use it to their advantage.  I realize that they are being pushy and forceful about paying but you and your fiance have the ultimate choice of who pays.

Post # 19
Member
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

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@TopazTurtle:  The only reason I said “all or nothing” was to avoid workplace drama. But, if you work with people you’d really like to have there and you can live with any potential fallout – I say invite them and DON’T invite the shrew.  You can always ask the others to keep their invitations mum since you couldn’t invite everyone. 

Post # 20
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@TopazTurtle:  If she is going to be mean and nasty on the day, than NO. Just pull the others aside and ask them not to bring up the wedding at work becuse you are on a tight budget and do not want to offend anyone.

Post # 22
Member
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@TopazTurtle:  I can understand. I think part of the problem is that society has painted all engaged women who have a voice to be a b*tch, and when some of us are genuinely kind woman who still have expectations, we shrink down and give our voice away because we don’t want to be labeled in an unkind and unfair light.

Sort of damned if we do, damned if we don’t. One the one hand, we’ll be upset if after the big day we got everything we thought we wanted, but now everbody thinks of you as a bridezilla. But on the other hand if we maintain the easy-going facade and let peoples wants for our day overpower our own, we will end up being really disappointed in the day that was supposed to be the best one of our lives.

 

Post # 23
Member
7641 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

From early on, if it had gone my MIL’s way I’d have DH’s cousin, whom he’d only met once, as an usher or groomsmen, DH’s step aunt’s daughter, whom DH hasn’t even ever met as a flower girl, and an additional 50 guests. If it had gone my SIL’s way, she’d have the dress she wanted which wouldn’t be even in the same color scheme.

It is going to be drama either way, girlfriend. I’d rather have drama where DH and I get what we want versus drama where family gets what they want. And this is you and your FI’s wedding. No one else’s. it does get better, but only if YOU sya something. You keep your family at bay, and your Fiance needs to control his.

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