Post # 47
Hahaha, I love it! I have another one for you! 🙂
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it,
then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
»Why?« asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
»I’m a panda,« he says, at the door. »Look it up.«
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
»Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.«
Post # 48
Haha, that is the best one of the “Eats, shoots and leaves” joke I’ve heard in quite a while! Of course, over here, the wombat and consequencial “Eats, roots and leaves” jokes are flogged to death!
I’m pretty sure I type alot more than a lot, but I do know the difference. I also have certain spelling and grammatical errors which drive me up the wall, the latest being; LAUNDRY-MATTE.
NO. No no no! It is not a laundry-matte, never has been nor will be!
I was a journalist at one point, I love grammar and had to teach the other journalist and the proofreader the proper spelling, punctuation and more just so they would stop “correcting” me with wrong additions!
Apparently, no one knows how to use a comma either. That drives me bonkers!
Post # 49
… I have never heard an “eats, shoots and leaves” joke EVER BEFORE IN MY LIFE!!!
That was awesome.
Post # 50
- Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods
Oh, I hear you. I’m also a college biology professor. The grammar on lab reports- *shudder*. Affect/effect is my personal pet peeve, probably because I see it more than any of the others.
Post # 52
I’m fine with “a lot” but I am horrified to find myself writing “it’s” way to often when I mean the possessive. ugh.
Post # 53
@JackiBean: Is anyone besides me see a lot of instances of “noone” to mean” no one?: I think it’s an internet slang.
Post # 54
thank you! I am so bad at those two!
I am so bad at those,too.
you got it…to/too/two are my pet peeve.
Post # 55
My 8th grade English teacher made is write definitely 100 times each student because she was tired of seeing it spelled definately. I will never, ever
spell that word wrong again as long as I live. And now I see people that type it out that way and I correct them. I even see people spelling it “defiantly.” NO. YOU ARE NOT DEFYING ANYONE WHEN YOU AGREE WITH THEM. STOOOOOP! Lol.
Post # 56
Can we also get isle/aisle correct please? You walk up or down the aisle, you holiday on a tropical isle. As well, the term is “I COULDNT care less”, not “I could care less”.
Post # 57
I’m an editor, so the boards make me cringe daily. I just try to remind myself that it’s a casual setting.
One common mistake that I haven’t seen in this thread yet is “Here, here” when they mean “Hear, Hear.” It drives me insane – the first (wrong) version makes no sense.
Honestly, after teaching college freshman composition for a year, Weddingbee doesn’t look that bad. My personal favorite was a student who consistently used “haft” instead of “have to.”
I have a card my Mother-In-Law gave me on my refrigerator. It reads:
Dear People of the World,
I don’t mean to sound slutty, but please use me whenever you want.
Post # 58
Te one that bothers me the most is when people write “apart” instead of “a part”. A friend of mine received a thank you note from a couple reading “Thank you for being apart of our day”….um. No.
Post # 59
People using ‘lay’ when they mean ‘lie’ annoys me a lot. It’s not “I’m going to go lay down”, it’s “I’m going to go LIE down.”
I see it everywhere, even on TV. And once Leonard from the Big Bang Theory used it. I thought an obsessive nerd like him would at least know the difference.
Post # 60
@JackiBean: You might want to sit down for this one! I know “alot” isn’t a word because every time I type it, auto-correct changes it. I go back and remove the space because it SHOULD be a word, darn it! 😛 I’d be happy to write “a lot” if I were talking about an actual “lot” of something, like a grouping. It just doesn’t seem to make sense to me otherwise. Ho hum. But now that I see that people are really bothered by it (and possibly thinking I’m ignorant), I guess I shouldn’t do something I know is wrong. Now I’m depressed.
Post # 61
I finally learned this because there is no such word as alittle. Lol