- 5 years ago
I’m 31 years old. I’ve been dating my SO for 6.5 years. For the past three years, he was in law school and just graduated this May. He is currently studying for the BAR. He is a wonderful man, I love him dearly, and we both express that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. It hasn’t always been easy though. Over the past few months, SEVERAL of our friends and family became engaged. Pretty much all of our friends in our close circle. All of them had been dating for a significantly less amount of years that us. When all that was going on, I got really discouraged, but he was sweet about it, and promised me that our time would come. He wanted to wait until after law school, after he took the bar, and had a job (which he does have and will begin in August). I completely respect that, and understood his reasons for wanting to wait. His cousin recently told me that he said he was going to ask me by the end of 2013. So now, I am officially waiting. But the sad thing is, I can’t seem to get excited about it… I have literally been dreaming about this for years now. Years. And I went through so much heartache watching everyone get engaged and married. I’ve watched our cousins and friends meet people, date, get engaged, have children, all in less time than my SO and I have been dating. So why can’t I get excited about it possibly happening to me now? We have constantly been bombarded with EVERYONE asking us when we are finally going to get married. And I guess I have this worry in my head that I am always going to be waiting. Not that he is necessarily making me feel this way. But I can’t imagine not waiting! It’s all I’ve known for the past few years! And I am worried that rather than be overjoyed once he asks, I will more or less just think “FINALLY”. And I KNOW that people are going to comment on how they never thought it would happen.I used to get on pinterest often and pin stuff to my secret wedding board. I used to love thinking about marrying him and being with him. But I reached a point where I wasn’t going to talk about it or think about it anymore out of fear of getting my hopes up, and now I don’t seem to be interested. It isn’t that I don’t want to marry him any more. In fact, I know very well that I do. I guess its just that I feel like it’s been dragged out for so long. Does that make sense?
So I guess what I want to know is…. is there any one else out there that may have gone through a similar situation? Did you feel like you waited so long that it didn’t seem like you were excited any more. Did that change for you once you were actually engaged? Please give me some advice!