Post # 1
Hello ladies 🙂
I dont really know why Im writing this post but I am a little confused about why my family is saying I look anorexic.
I guess I will start off by telling the small back story to everything. My bf has decided to lose some weight and change his eating habits. He has lost about 30 pounds since January. Now, since he is the main cook of the house I have sort of taken on his diet although I am not quite as strict with it as he is. Basically we have cut out all red meats, breads, pasta that sort of stuff and only really eat turkey, fruits and veggies.
Since I had my daughter 2 years ago I havent been the happiest with how my body looks so in January I starting working out a little, about 20 mins of cardio and 20 mins of strength training. I more so wanted to lose a few pounds and really tone everything up.
So, since January I have only lost about 12 pounds..not really that much. However, my family somehow thinks that I look anorexic and keep telling me to eat and eat shitty foods like hamburgers and pizza and just junk. I asked my bf if I really look that skinny and he said that I am looking a little too thin. I on the other hand dont think so, I am still not happy with the way I look and havent noticed much of a difference after losing those 12 pounds.
I guess I was just wondering how many other women have dealt with this and what did you do to get people to stop telling you to eat all the time?
Post # 3
I think that if even your boyfriend is telling you that you’ve gotten too skinny, than you probably have. We are always our own worst critics and we often don’t see our bodies the way everyone around us does. I highly doubt your boyfriend would say he thinks you’re getting a bit too skinny unless you truely are.
Post # 4
If you are concerned, speak to your doctor about your weight and if it’s healthy. Though, healthy or not, don’t go from one extreme to the other of eating healthy food to eating hamburgers. You shouldn’t feel pressured into eating junk food. You may need to eat more, but you can eat more of the healthy things you’ve been eating.
Post # 5
What height/weight did you start out at? If you were, say, 120 pounds to start, 12 pounds is a huge change. If you were 200, not as much. We always think we are bigger than we are – if those closest to you are saying that, there may be some truth to it.
Post # 6
Ugh, people really think it’s their business to comment on other people’s bodies. It’s a rude, annoying fact of life. And it goes both ways, whether you lose or gain weight.
You can always respond with “You’re looking too fat.”, “You’re looking bald”, etc. give them a taste of their own medicine. Or be more polite and kindly ask them if they’d like you to comment on their bodies now.
I don’t want to give any credit to their comments, because they’re out of line, BUT some women look better with a little extra weight and can look drawn and tired if they get too thin. I feel like this is especially true of pear shaped women. Could this be a possibility? Also, depending on your frame and height, 12 pounds can be a lot or a little. You may want to speak to your doctor about your diet and see if they have recommendations (for example, they may suggest that you eat more grains, protein, healthy fats, etc.).
Post # 7
Thanks for the replies. Before I changed my eating habits I was around 127-130 pounds and for my height (5’4) it was still considered a healthy weight but I was just very uncomfortable in my own skin. I weighed myself earlier and I am now 116 pounds. The only real difference I see is that I no longer have a muffin top hanging over my jeans and my face doesnt look swollen any more. One person who said I looked sick was my mother, now there is a bit of a story when it comes to her. My mom was always over weight and constantly drilled it into my head that I dont ever want to be fat. Im just surprised that she said I was too skinny after years and years of saying I should lose a few pounds and tone up. Maybe everyone was so used to seeing me a little chunkier and now that I have lost some weight are suddenly shocked about it.
@abirdword: haha I love your responses! I might use them one day lol
Post # 8
@sparky263: 116’s pretty small and a lower weight for 5’4, but not an unhealthy weight. A 12 pound weight loss is a significant weight loss at that height, so I’m sure you look quite a bit a different than you did before. It’s nowhere near anorexic, though.
Post # 9
@sparky263: I think you should speak to your doctor about what a healthy weight is for your frame, and get a physical. If all signs point to healthy, and you are happy with where you are, it doesn’t matter what they thing. Regardless, the answer isn’t to eat junk so shame on them for suggesting it!
Post # 10
As someone who is not that far off from you size-wise I can honestly say that 12 pounts is a noticeable difference. It’s almost 10% of your body weight. Also, if you’ve been exercising you may have lost a lot in terms of inches, so it’s even more noticeable.
I have no idea if you look too skinny or not….that’s something that your doctor will know. But if everyone else is saying it, it might be worth considering. That doesn’t mean you have to gain it all back, but just be mindful that you are eating enough, etc.
Post # 11
@abirdword: I know I look a little thinner but I dont believe Im sickly skinny. I think its just because they never really saw me at this weight before and I always wear baggier clothes so when I put on something more form fitting people are a bit shocked. I just wish they would stop trying to get me to put on more weight!!
Post # 12
I’m 5’4″, 115lbs. For me, this is my favorite weight to be. Any skinnier and my face looks very thin, add a few pounds and it all shows on my thighs =)
That being said, it’s really hard to maintain some ideal, perfect weight! I find it just as offensive when my mom tells me I’m looking too skinny as I would if she told me she thinks I’m overweight (which she doesn’t do, but she always tells me when I’m too skinny). Weights naturally fluctuate (especially as you change diets and hobbies), so I just try to love myself at every weight.
I’m sorry your loved ones are saying this to you. I would say, if you feel too skinny, then try to add some more healthy fats into your diet!
I’m trying to tone up as well and have found that my collarbones and sternum are showing more than I like. I’m trying to eat more almonds and avocados before the wedding to try to soften them up, but if I can’t, I’ll just have to accept it =)
Also, just wanted to say congrats on creating new healthy habits that will benefit you for a lifetime!
Post # 13
@sparky263: I definitely think you should speak to your doctor about where you’re at. I’m 4’11 and 120, so 116 for 5’4 sounds like you’re starting to get on the small side to me. And anyways, I don’t think your family/bf are mentioning your weight to be mean, but out of honest concern, and you shouldn’t discount that. However, you can eat more calories and still eat healthy, so decline a hamburger at a restaurant for maybe a salad with double the grilled chicken (which is what I do). Wanting to gain weight doesn’t mean you have to put junk into your body.
Post # 14
Since you lost some wight what if you started trying to tone up a bit more? Stop focusing on calorie counting or cardio as much and do some weight training. The number on the scale might go up a little (muscle weighs more than fat), but your body will be healthy and strong.
In the meantime, take their comments in stride. Talk to a doctor if you are really concerned, but 116, while on the lower end for 5’4″, is definitely not anorexic.
ETA: I noticed your diet is very strict…maybe try and start introducing some other proteins into your diet again, and healthy fats like coconut oil and avocados. That will help build muscle tone.
Post # 15
@sparky263: It’s not just about height, it’s also about frame* and bodyshape**. If you have a small body frame, then 116 pounds at 5’4″ will look “normal.” BUT if you have a larger body frame, then 116 pounds might look far more alarming to your family. I don’t think they should be throwing around terms like “anorexic,” but I do think you should take your frame into consideration.
*Frame Sizes (note: these were just pulled off of Google)
Body Shapes (these essentially determine how and wear you gain/lose weight):
Post # 16
Anorexia is an eating disorder, not a body type. People who suffer from anorexia are all shapes and sizes, and it’s irresponsible to lump all thin people into the anorexic category. Are the people who are commenting on your appearance doctors? If not, I suggest that you speak with your doctor to determine what is healthy for you. Being 116 pounds at 5’4″ puts you on the thinner side of healthy, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you are anorexic.
I am not particularly worried about your size, but I think some of your comments might raise a few eyebrows (“since January I have only lost about 12 pounds..not really that much” and “I’m still not happy with the way I look and havent noticed much of a difference after losing those 12 pounds”). It sounds like you could have a dangerous mindset when it comes to your body image.
ETA: I am your weight but taller, so I know how upsetting it can be when someone falsely accuses you of being anorexic. I focus on limiting processed foods but never limit quantity.