(Closed) Lost 2 Bridesmaids So Far…Blarghhhh!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think she sounds sincere. 

Post # 4
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you’re being paranoid.  Being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is expensive and sometimes people just can’t afford it.  It sucks but it doesn’t mean they love you any less.

Post # 5
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think it sounds sincere as well, it does suck but she does sound like she regrets not being able to attend.

Post # 6
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@lovelylight99:  i think she is being honest and sincere.  at least she is telling you now vs 1 month out.  you have to expect that finances may come into play when travel is involved.

Post # 8
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

It would’ve been better if she told you in person, but it sounds like she genuinely can’t afford it.


FWIW, I had a bridesmaid drop out two days before the wedding  so be glad she is telling you far in advance!


Post # 9
3230 posts
Sugar bee

Glad you were nice to her. What is off is probably that she was so worried that you’d be upset with her over this. She probably thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. At least she told you this much in advance. My little sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor told her two weeks before her wedding after essentially ignoring her for the months up to it. We all knew she wanted to back out but she simply wouldn’t come out and say it.

Post # 10
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It sucks to hear that, but I agree with PP’s, she does sound genuinely sorry and sincere about having to drop out.

Post # 11
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@lovelylight99:  TBH this is the email we bees recommend a Bridesmaid or Best Man to send her bride if she is being a bit ‘out of line’ in her requests from the BM’s. I am not saying this is the case here. However, if you look back and notice you requested them to buy a $200 dollar dress, shoes, and demand they get hair and make-up done or was specific that you wanted showers and Bach parties to be a certain type (ie: expensive) – then I could see how this could happen twice in a row (with two BM’s).

If this is not the case then it truly is a coincidence and they really cannont muster up the extra expense needed for travel, gifts, parties, etc. These really are tough times for a lot of people. Bowing out gracefully is exactly what this Bridesmaid or Best Man has doen – regardles for her reasons for doing so. Causing issue with it will only lead to damaging you future relationship.

Post # 12
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@lovelylight99:  I think she’s being sincere based upon the e-mail. I had a bridesmaid drop out 2 weeks – 1 week before dress shopping. That didn’t annoy me, but it was the fact that the budget for dresses was EXTREMELY small to begin with (only $100 each and I covered anything over that – ended up being $153 each) and she knew about it since we got engaged, back at Christmas in 2011! She didn’t have any money, but yet she could go and purchase new wheels & tires for her SUV, throw a huge party for her kid, trade-in vehicles a couple times, etc. Hmm.. She had 16 months to save up that small amount of money. In the end though I’m glad I just have my two best friends in our wedding.

Post # 14
652 posts
Busy bee

@lovelylight99:  nah, she’s being honest and truthful. It’s good she recognize she had money issues ahead of time before it’s too late. 


Post # 15
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That really really sucks OP. I feel for you – one of my bridesmaids dropped out as well.  She sounds like she’s being sincere though.  If you really want her there and you can afford it, you could offer to gift her the flights and hotel rooms?


Post # 16
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

This sucks, but I think she is being sincere.

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