(Closed) Lost a BM

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

HUGS! I have to say I totally get it. I had a friend Drop out, then want back in, then drop out again…. So all I can say is DON’T let them toy with you. If they want out then they are out. 

I let my friend back in because she found out she was pregnant and didn’t know if she could handle it, and then she decided she could, and then she had the baby and got post partums, so I let her out again because she was dealing with tough stuff, so its a bit of a different situation, but the yo-yoing sucked! 

And THEN I had a bridesmaid drop out the DAY OF because she was super sick (we later found out she had crazy morning sickness). 

Just be happy with the girls you KNOW are going to be there for you and that you feel like you don’t have to walk on eggshells for. 

Post # 4
Member
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@idolina:  I remember a time when my friendships were strained. Friends were going through many changes which meant people were moving on and possibly not seeing one another asmuch as they used to. We used to meet up every week and very quickly it became every couple of months. I found this very hard at first and will fully admit to feeling insecure at the time. I know I don’t fully know your story I’m just trying to give some of the other side. 

If it was me, at this point, I would call her/message her and tell her that you are sorry that she doesn’t want to be a bm anymore but give her a chance to change her mind. Personally I’m veryglad that in spite of the changes and sad/upset feelings in our group of friends in the past we have still managed to maintain friendshipshand we are closer than ever now.

Post # 5
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

She sounds like she has a whole lot of issues – not necessarily with you, but being included in things generally and people leaving her out – but it doesn’t sound like you at all have contributed to this, it’s just something she’s dealing with. Her behavior however is totally not cool – this is not something you say to a friend who’s asked you to stand up with her on her big day! I would be hurt too.

I say let her bow out and perhaps take a neutral stance on this friendship: by asking her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man you’ve done more than enough to show her you take an interest in this friendship. It’s her turn now to put in a bit of effort, but perhaps this is the beginning of her drifting away (it happens unfortunately). I’m so sorry for you, as you did totally nothing wrong; just try to have fun planning with the girls you have left and enjoy your pre-wedding time! 🙂

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