(Closed) Lost a bridesmaid and my best friend

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would not contact her right now. Maybe she is trying to sort some personal things out and the wedding is overwhelming her a bit? However, if you are setting deadlines that she cannot reach then I would not have her in the wedding anymore. Say you do contact her and you guys talk again. What if she does this week before the wedding? You really don’t need the stress. Your wedding is super close. I would say let her go as a brdiesmaid. Deal with the friendship side of things after the wedding.

Post # 4
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Wow thats messed up. I dont even know what to say because she already has the tickets/flight booked this is very strange. I would try and contact her again personally and just say either way you need to know and let her know that if she’s afraid to tell you shes not coming that its okay (even though it wouldnt be okay with me) but at least you might get a response if you tell her you wont be upset, because she might be avoiding you because shes scared youll flip out. Maybe if yousay something like “I know youve been through/going through a lot and if you cant make it I understand but can you contact me Im worried about you”  I dont know what else to suggest but once you have contact from her you can talk about how you really feel.

Post # 5
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmmm…. I wonder if she is embarassed that she can’t afford to come and is either A) trying to avoid the situation or B) is in limbo with finances and is waiting until she knows for sure if she can come or not.  Either way though, I do think she needs to talk to you and let you know what’s up and it’s odd she hasn’t.  I would give her a few more days before trying to contact her again and then call her and make dinner/lunch/drink plans (don’t mention the wedding at all).  Maybe something is going on in her life that you don’t know about. Just because she’s posting pictures to stuff doesn’t mean everything is peachy keen.  I wouldn’t write her off quite yet.

Good luck!

Post # 8
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is SO sad!

I’m so sorry but I am sort of going through the same thing and like begging pleading with my BFF to attend the events that IIIIII want… she said she wouldn’t be able to afford vegas so I moved my bachelorette closer to home – I asked her to plan it now that its closer and she said she didn’t know what IIIII would want so I had to plan it again, she can’t afford the dress so I’m paying for hers and hoping to make the money back with a resell on eBay, she can’t afford get her hair done ($) so she’s going to DIY it and I’m praying it comes out well… its just going on and on and I wonder if all this time she’s been trying to bow out gracefully by blaming finances and I’m holding onto her for dear life… next straw is the last one and I’ll just let her go…


Its up to you want you want to do but if it were me, I’d want SOME KIND of response instead of feeling like you’re harrassing her… (you’re not, you’re being reasonable but she might feel like you are badgering her… cuz she’s non-confrontational) 

What I would do is contact her on FB via message cuz that’s obviously the mode of communication that she’s using with the free world and SHOULD include yourself…

If I were you, and she didn’t responde to a private message, I’d be kinda snarky at this point and probably start commenting on the photos she’s posting on instagram with “oh if you can do this, can you please call me back?” something to that effect…


all in all she’s probably embarrassed/feels guilty about not being able to afford it…


BOTTOMLINE: for your sanity, she needs to be honest with you and vice versa.


Good luck love! Its probably hard but it could turn out well…

Post # 11
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

You’ve said that she might be having some financial problems.  Is it possible that her phone has been shut off?  Or maybe she lost it?

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