Lost and confused.

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2809 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

sometimes, people just need a break. i know there are days when i want to run away and be away from my FI for a while. i love him with all my heart, he’s an amazing guy, but he drives me up a wall sometimes. my parents have been married for almost 30 years, and my mother has always taken breaks from my father, for a day or two. it just works. sometimes you need to get away and clear your head. it doesn’t mean things are over, it just means you need your own space for a bit.

i would give him a break. like you said, he said he was stressed and there was a lot going on. maybe he’s just overwhelmed and scared. guys can get scared too. it’s probably better that he takes a break, i’d hate for him to be freaking out around you. know what i mean?

let him breathe. find some distraction. go to the beach or pick up a hobby. get your mind off of this. it’ll be okay. if he ends it, he ends it and you move on. but if he doesn’t, then it’s all good. sometimes people just need a break.

fingers crossed that everything turns out okay for you!

Post # 4
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

OP, I am sorry this happens to you. Your story reminds me of myself 4 years ago with my first love. I know you are devastated right now and it sucks not to know what is going wrong. The more you want to get close to him, the more you feel you are losing the control in this relationship. My situation was the same. My ex disappeared without giving me any note/letter nor the reason. He called me up after 3 damn days, 3 days that I was crying and worried like crazy, to say that we were done. The more I tried to fix things and pull him closer to me, the more control he had over me and abused it. 

Finally I had to let it be and move on with my life instead of chasing after him day after day. When I totally ignored him and let him deal with his problems, he crawled back like a dog.

I just want to share my story with you so that you can relax and let him has his space

Post # 5
7564 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I agree, sometimes people just need a break. Try not to stress yourself out thinking about it, just focus on you. Take this time to think about if you really want to be in the relationship. Are you getting all of your needs met? 

Post # 7
7564 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@BurningStar:  You never know, “come see you” may mean come home. I wouldn’t assume the worst. Whatever the outcome is, it will be for the best. You’ll either be able to choose if you should continue the relationship or you’ll be free of someone who’s unsure about getting married. 

Post # 10
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry this has happened. Did he give you a reason why he’s ending it?

Post # 11
4528 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m so sorry

Post # 12
5793 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am sorry.  Please be gentle with yourself.

Post # 13
2903 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry burningstar 🙁 

Though I doubt you’ll be able to see this now, things will be better this way. Try to take care of yourself and don’t try to win him back, you’ll just lose your self respect and self worth trying to force him to love you and want you again, and it still won’t work. You’ll be in a worse place afterwards. 

Look after yourself and lean on your friends and family. The bee is also a wonderful place to come and get support. good luck

Post # 14
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

“sometimes people just need a break”




right, but you don’t live a note to your fiance explaining this and disappear




i think that there is something else going on, definitely



ETA: just read the update. i’m so sorry. much love and virtual hugs


Post # 15
77 posts
Worker bee

@BurningStar:  I am so sorry. Just know you will be ok. You are your own person, and you’ve been liberated from marrying someone who doesn’t wholly appreciate you. You can get through this and be better for it. 

Post # 16
11284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@BurningStar:  i’m so sorry that it’s over.  it hurts right now but it will heal with time.  focus on yourself.  keep yourself busy. 

you will come to realize that it’s better that it is done now and not after the wedding.

good luck.

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