(Closed) lost bridesmaid in car accident, how can I keep her memory in my wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

OMG, that is so sad!  I am sorry!  I would put something in the wedding program honoring her, or maybe dedicate a song to her. 

Post # 4
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i think any way you spin it, there is going to be sadness, but maybe a locket with her picture in it on your bouquet so she is with you? 

Post # 5
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Miss Converse:

Is there any small gift that she gave you, that you could attach to your bouquet?  BTW-My mom died one month before my daughter’s wedding day, and I felt her presence there.  I am sure that she will be there with you on your wedding day.  I am sorry for your loss.

Post # 6
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m so sorry for your loss hon. What a sad time for you all. It’s so nice of you wanting to keep her with you, but keeping it sort of as a private moment between the two of you. A couple of ideas: A locket with her photo in it pinned inside your dress on your bouquet, you don’t have to show everyone what’s in it, nor would anyone notice unless you point it out. Was there something that she was really passionate about or really loved? Like if she loved knitting (?!), you could find a charm of knitting needles and wear those somewhere…

Post # 7
1058 posts
Bumble bee

I am so so sorry for your lost, that’s horrible. Maybe a slideshow for her in her memory? or name tables after her memory.

Post # 8
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I love the idea of a locket. How about a note in the program about celebrating your friendship? A positive remembrance of the friendship you shared, instead of focusing on just remembering her…to avoid a “memorial” feeling? My line of thought is that you chose her to be a bridesmaid bc of your friendship and that can be celebrated for years to come.

Post # 9
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Maybe make a bouquet for her anyway and keep in in a vase where she would have stood?

Post # 10
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m so sorry for you loss.  I would find a nice locket that you could attach to your bouquet with a picture of her inside.  It’s something small and simple that you will know is there but that won’t draw undue attention to itself.

Post # 11
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m so, so sorry. That is heartbreaking.

I actually want to suggest that you not try to avoid all sadness on your wedding day. Of course you want it to be a happy day, and it will be.  But acknowledging the death of someone you loved, and the loss that you and her friends and family still carry, can be healing, too.  It can also make you cherish the joy of the occasion and the company of those you love even more. 

Still, you are the only one who knows what would be best for you and her family.  One possibility is to have an extra bridesmaid’s bouquet made and display it in a vase with her name and a message of love for the ceremony.

Post # 12
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

@MissConverse – I’m sorry for your loss.  I think a locket or trinket tied to your bouquet would be best since you don’t want others to become overly emotional.  I had my G-ma’s cross from one of her rosaries attached to my bouquet.  This was such a special momento for me and it was as if she was standing there with me!

Post # 13
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m so sorry for your loss. As for ideas: For our wedding, I had my moose necklace around my bouquet. It was simple, but I knew that our baby was there. Also, I really like the idea of having a bouquet for her. Maybe you could give it to her mom after the ceremony. Before the ceremony maybe you could have the bouquet outside the ceremony location with a candle. It’d be simple, but you’d know what it was and sometimes that’s all that matters.

Post # 14
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

At a wedding a friend of mine went to, a bridesmaid had been lost to cancer not long before the wedding took place.

There were seven bridesmaids altogether (there were 8). One bridesmaid walked, two, three, four, (Pause for where bridesmaid five would have walked down the aisle), six, seven, eight. Just as though she had been there. When they got to the altar, they left a space for her, where she would have stood.

A poem in the program clued in anyone who didn’t know what had happened, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Not sure if that’s too sad/memorialesque, but it’s a thought. Hugs to you. This must be so hard.

Post # 15
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am very sorry for your loss. I can relate, a very close friend, who was going to be my Fiance best man past away in June. I recommend getting a dozen roses, or a bouquet of flowers and set them out on a table at the ceremony. Then in the programs write something to the effect of The roses displayed are to honor ______ and all the friends and family that have past before us. Good luck with you decision and remember she will be with you in spirit 🙂

Post # 16
539 posts
Busy bee

I am sorry to hear of your loss. My friend lost her mother a year before her wedding, and her moms favorite color was purple…so even though her wedding colors were red/white/black…every bridesmaid bouquet had a single deep purple flower placed in it, and a purple ribbon tied around w/ the red/black. The guys wore red flowers w/ a small purple ribbon on them. So it was very subtle in how she made her moms memory knows throughout her day. Something like this could be nice to honor your friend.

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