Post # 1
I don’t know why I’m writing this… I think I just need to put it out there for at least someone to hear it. I don’t know if I put this in the right section- so apologies if it isn’t.
I’m at home working, my little girl is sleeping and it’s all quiet. Darling Husband is off at work for the day and I won’t see him for another 6 hours.
I just feel- lost. I feel like I’m stuck and I can’t get out.
My girl means the world to me! But recently she’s been having these tantrums that I just can’t seem to understand why she is having them. It’s nothing like something is hurting her. She just doesn’t like the color of a wall or something. Any little thing sets her off and I can’t make her happy. Darling Husband comes home and she is all giggles and smiles. It doesn’t seem like he understands what I go thru during the day. She is no way like this when she is home alone with me! I don’t know- I just feel inadequate- why am I here doing the ‘mother’ thing- when all it takes is for dad to be home to make everything better?
Work took a crazy turn a little while ago and added extra stress- now I’m even busier with orders and customers have to wait longer for things. I just feel like I can’t keep up.
DH’s family has had issues lately- I know it’s not my immediate family, but I can’t help but feel stress over this situation.
I feel like I’m drowning. I’m not happy. I don’t know how to make myself stop feeling this way. I’m crying whenever I’m alone.
Post # 2
🙁 I’m so sorry. It’s really, really draining when it feels like everything is going wrong or you feel alone…or just like nothing is positive. I don’t know if you have any history of depression or anyting and there are many more knowledgable people than me that can give insights if that’s what’s going on. But if that’s a possible cause, I think talking to someone is a good idea.
For me – I’m having a bit of a life “funk” right now, too. I totally get the “drowning” feeling -overwhelmed with work, family issues, recovering from a really rough year with health and marriage problems, etc. The things that help me are getting out of the house (I work from home much of the time); getting outside and just taking 10-15 mins of some mindfulness or prayer and trying some breathing exercises. I’m getting overwhelmed with work, too, so I also have been trying to set myself hours that I need to stop and let myself have some down time. I know it seems counterintuitive, but letting yourself stop at a decent time at the end of the day or over a weekend day really may help with feeling like you can handle it again.
I also take some moments to come read here and just get to think about some other things and see people’s news and stories. Maybe it’s silly but it helps distract me to not “wallow” and gives me some perspective.
Also-for your daughter — you are so important. Just because she’s in a phase where dad seems to make her happy, remember, I’m guessing it’s just that she sees him less. If your situations were reversed – you would probably be the exciting/happy causing parent, you know?
You’re doing okay. Keep going. Take things a day or two at a time. And I really do recommend getting out of the house and have one fun outing planned ahead for each week. Don’t try to force yourself to “snap out of it” – that just adds more stress. But build in some things to your days that can help bring some peace and look for things you find pleasure in.
Post # 3
AllAboutThatBass : I’m sorry you are feeling down. Your little girls sounds perfectly normal. The primary caregiver is almost always the one who sees and deals with the full range of behavior. Dad isn’t home all day. He doesn’t need to be the disciplinarian, hence she is happy to see him.
I am more concerned about you. I suggest you see a doctor for a screening for depression. Crying whenever you are alone is not the “well” you.
Post # 4
AllAboutThatBass : How old is your child? Having tantrums is a normal part of child development. Please don’t take it personally, it only means she is learning how to assert her independence, which is what a healthy child should feel safe to do.
By all means don’t let her hurt herself or you but try not to react too much to her tantrums. You can try to distract or comfort her but don’t give in or react emotionally yourself to it. You should read early some childhood development books like yesterday. She isn’t doing anything wrong.
And don’t forget to take of yourself, too, Mommy. It is not easy being the Mom of a little one. It is hard work but very worthwhile.
Post # 5
AllAboutThatBass : Children misbehave the most for the people they feel safest with. Sucks for you but at least take some relief in knowing that. I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. I don’t really have any advice besides to speak with your primary care about seeing someone to talk through these feelings with? I know some people do take anti-depressants during really down times, my dad was offered one after a serious injury, though the stubborn man he is refused. My last suggestion, if there’s something you’ve been wanting to do or try for a long time maybe now would be a good time to do it.