(Closed) lost in life

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4497 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sometimes life doesn’t go as planned. You shouldn’t feel pressured to stick to the generic timeline/order of college, proposal, marriage, house, and baby. As long as I can remember I have never wanted to fulfill a timeline like this.

Also, just because someone else’s life looks perfect it doesn’t mean it is. I am a big believer in ‘you never know what goes on behind closed doors.’

If you are unhappy with your job then I would first focus on that. That is something you can control (to an extent). You don’t like computer science anyway so is it that big of a deal to work in a different field? Maybe pursue something you are actually interested in. Most people who just go after a field because of money don’t tend to be super happy individuals (not in my experience anyway).

Post # 4
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

As much as we try to control our lives, we simply cannot. All the best made plans go awry. 

It’s important in life to adapt to our lives as they change and progress. If you aren’t happy where you are in life now, why not do something about it? Seek new employment, perhaps look into a new major if you aren’t happy with your current one, and talk with your boyfriend about settling down if that’s ultimately what you want. Life is what we make of it.

Post # 5
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Oh boy have I been where you are! This is a demonstration that you don’t feel settled and feel insecure about your life. I think that in order to be “found/settled” we must be lost first. How else will you know your’ve arrived to your destination unless you were first lost. Your clearly exhibiting signs of growth and desire to find yourself.

While you’re feeling like this I would spend some real time with yourself and note down all that you want to do with your life. Put is up somewhere and possibly even cut pictures out of magazines etc and put together a dream board. I know this helped me navigate through that period of my life where I also felt lost.

I remember writing myself a letter when I was 18 to be opened in 10 years. In the letter I wrote about where I wanted to be at 28yrs old. I went through the next 10yrs of my life and lived the best way I knew how. Anyway, the day came when I opened the letter – 10 years to the day. Let me tell you that I had accomplished almost NOTHING on the list; I felt terrible and like a failure. I didn’t have that fabulous career, or the wonderful successful husband or the two children but I learned to love my life anyway. I learned to accept exactly where I am in my life and change the things I could.

Now I have everything in that letter (except the kids) but it took another 10 years to have my dream. Its never too late, live your life fully and never judge yourself or ever compare yourself to another. Our journey is just as important as those who you think have “already made it”.

Chin up, life is a delicious and wonderful experience. Live as though you are already what you want to be. A little trick I use when I want to accomplish something I “fake it till I make it”.

Post # 6
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper

Yes, I sometimes feel lost and like my life doesn’t compare to others but then I realise that if I am happy and have my health and my family I don’t really care.

Post # 8
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Do you have your health? Do you have people in your life who love you? Do you have some money in the bank and live in a country with possibilities and freedom? If so, you are doing very well.

Post # 10
Member
710 posts
Busy bee

Tried and true recipe for unhappiness is undervaluing what you do have and overvaluing what you do not have.

We’re all a little lost. I’d wager that there’s plenty your friend feels like she missed out on, should have done differently… or even experiences/opportunities you’ve had that she’d trade hers for. This might make you feel a little bit better, but alas, it’s not about any of that!

If you can take stock of what feels right in your life, big or small, and then slowly but surely add to that list, you’ll forget about feeling lost. I don’t know if this is symptomatic of mid-20s, but as someone in that lifestage, it hasn’t been my experience that the lost feeling really goes away completely… but it’s more like you’re only aware of it when you don’t feel fulfilled. Signalling a time for growth, not a time for regret.

Post # 11
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

:(. I really feel for you. Life often does not go as we planned, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still have a wonderful life.  You are still quite young, and you have a lot of time to accomplish anything you want to do. Even though it is hard, try not to compare yourself so much with others, and realize that you have so many things to look forward to. In the meantime, discover yourself. Find new hobbies you like and make a plan of how you will get the life you want. 

Also, whenever I’ve gotten down about smilar issues, I find volunteering really helps.  1) you will see how blessed you really are and 2) it’s good for the soul to help others out. 

Post # 12
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Its called the quarter life crisis! Everyone I know (I’m 29) had it around 26/27/28. Some quit jobs, some ended relationships, some moved countries, some got married when they perhaps should not have….

We have all pretty much come out the other side now and are happier in our lives and selves – but we all went through it as I think everyone does in their late twenties.

Post # 14
Member
8159 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i thought i would have been married in my 20’s and have a few kids by now. 

however that didn’t happen. 

i see people much younger than me with lots of kids and i wish i had them.  but i waited until i found the perfect guy for me without settling. 

in the meantime i worked on my education and career.  i have a master’s degree and a great job and i will be marrying the love of my life.  yes, i will be 32 when i get married, but this is how it worked out. and hopefully kids will follow very soon after.

Post # 16
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@lsimpson:  OP, you are not alone. I have described myself as “lost in life” at least once a week for the past several months. I definitely do not feel settled, either. With the exception of my FI, I feel like my life is a mess. Being in your mid-20s is harder than I ever thought it would be… I always thought I would have it all figured out by now. But I don’t. Sometimes it feels like I’m just wobbling through life with little to no idea of where I’m headed. But a lot of my friends feel this way too. It’s difficult; and I often have to keep reminding myself to keep my chin up, focus on where I want to be, and I’ll get there eventually. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. =)

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