(Closed) Lost in the mail…how to ask?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Are any of your friends who’ve received invitations close with the couple?  Maybe you could have one of them bring it up in passing.  If not, hopefully the couple will inquire about your RSVP before too long.

Post # 4
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree with the last post.  It’s hard to wait it out….but if you were invited, you’ll get a call about your missing RSVP.  I also think it’s harmless to have your other friends inquire about/mention that you haven’t received an invite.  Could it be that they just had to make some last minute cuts?  Even if they have had conversations with you about the wedding, maybe they had to make some hard decisions at the last minute.  You mentioned that you’re not super-close, right?  Either way…hope you get some closure to this situation sometime soon!  One more thought is that they might be doing an A-list, B-list kind of thing??  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Can you casually ask them if they have chosen invitations? 

Post # 6
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee

I would only ask the couple if you received a save the date from them. Otherwise I agree with the suggestion to have a friend inquire in passing, or to just wait until the RSVP deadline passes and they call you.

Post # 7
Member
15 posts
Newbee

Maybe call and ask them if they need any help with the plans…like addressing invitations???

Post # 8
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

i agree with the other posters, they will call you when the rsvp deadlines are coming.

Post # 10
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Wow, they aren’t including your husband? Everyone knows invite lists change in a year–you may get closer with someone, change jobs, etc. That’s so weird! Are you sure they actually sent you an invite that supposedly got lost?

Post # 11
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think it’s pretty rude of them not to invite your husband because of a year-old list!!

We only gave guests to our friends who were in relationships.  A few weeks before we sent out invites, I met the new Girlfriend of one of our friends.  I made sure to give him a +1 when I sent out the invites! 

I’m sure it’s a no-no but maybe you could mention that you’d like to bring your husband and ask if he can come if they get some declines.  Otherwise, I just wouldn’t attend.  It’s one thing to not invite a Boyfriend or Best Friend or even a Fiance, but they really should have invited your husband!!

Post # 12
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh wow!  I thought the rule was if the person is engaged/married/living with someone then you invite them with a guest!  Do they know your husband?  Maybe they aren’t as close of a friend as you thought and should reconsider going.

Post # 13
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

It’s pretty much a total faux pas for them not to invite your husband!  There’s room for debate about people in relationships, but married folks are a done deal!  I guess it’s up to you how to handle it though!

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

If you are willing to go without your husband, tell them that you would love to come, but please consider inviting him if they get some declines. If not, just RSVP no.

Post # 15
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Honestly, I have a feeling you were not really invited, and that now that they were asked, they think one more person is ok, but not 2.  I hate to be so blunt, but money was probably tight, and you were probably on the b-list.  I would not ask for him to be invited, I would simply decline.

 

Post # 16
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ummm….they should have just counted on someone ELSE not coming and just added in your husband.

Dude, that’s so rude! You don’t not invite someone’s spouse. I mean, unless it’s a work thing or something. Then I get it, but still don’t agree.

I wouldn’t go. If you aren’t super close…consider it date night for you and your husband. They should be more sensitive.

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