(Closed) Lost my best friend / MOH… very long…

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow that is a crazy intense story!  I feel so bad for you, but its probably best that you part ways.  Its hard to lose a bff, but if it will make you happier then that’s what you have to do.  I don’t think it would be rude to replace your Maid/Matron of Honor.  But in girl world you never know how people will take it.  But I’m just thinking of people questioning why you don’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor and I don’t want you to have to get really emotional on your wedding day either.  I wish the best for you and hope it all works out. 

Post # 6
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ugh, I know the feeling of sticking up for someone and watching her treat others like crap only to realize one day that you are not immune to that crap treatment. You guys don’t like how she acts and she doesn’t seem to care so it’s true, you don’t get along. As much as it hurts to lose a friend like that, she yelled personal stuff about your friend to everyone. It’s not like you can confide in her anymore anyways. And imagine the shit show that would be your wedding if she came. Hopefully you can find some forgiveness for her and move on, but it would probably be best if you didn’t continue to have a close relationship with her.

As for your other bridesmaids, do they all understand what happened with this friend? If so, they’ll understand that you need and Maid/Matron of Honor and most likely they’ll understand when you pick the one you’re closest too. If you can’t pick one, pick a name out of a hat. Don’t approach is like “hey wanna be my plan B?” just make it clear that you’ve found yourself without a Maid/Matron of Honor and you need someone to stand up there with you. Honestly, I think they’d rather you had one of them as a second choice Maid/Matron of Honor, it’s more important that you have that than that you be fair to them.

Post # 7
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh my…..im so sorry that you and you best friend are not speaking. i know that it hurts and it feels like yo have lost a part of you but hopefully, when you get time, you will see how toxic she was.

I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason, i def think that you should consider your self blessed that this happend at a friends b’ette party and not your own….and good thing the bride passed out so she messed the messy parts of the night.

I also think its safe to say that this girl is not going to be in your wedding…. im sorry your going through all of this 🙁

Post # 9
Member
3167 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

whew that’s a doozy. i’m sorry, “Lindsay” sounds like a very inconsiderate friend and so unappreciative of all you’ve done for her. I had a friend/ex-MOH like that – I would move hell and high water to help her out and she would constantly let me down. Definitely not to the extent your friend did though. I’d talk to your group of Bridesmaids and explain that since you and Lindsay had a blowup, she wont be attending the wedding or be involved in any of the planning – which is probably for the best since she wasn’t pulling her weight according to the other bridesmaids! ask them if this is going to impact anything they had going on – you never know and they may need to rework plans and appreciate the chance to discuss it with you, especially since there’s no Maid/Matron of Honor. i’d let them know how important they all are to you and right now you’re just really raw from the fight and not sure what you’re going to do about the whole thing but that you appreciate their support. good luck!

 

ooh ooh! nvm, ask the friend who e-mailed you! lol

Post # 10
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry you are going through this, but it seems that you have a supportive life without her and now that she isn’t going to be there to hold you back with her need for you you will go even further in life. While it hurts now, it seems to be for the best in the long run. Focus on you and your marriage and maybe her “loss” will faid. 

You can do whatever you want about the bridesmaids. Just do what feels right to you.

Post # 11
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m really sorry. It sucks but people sometimes change and become someone you barely recognize. I had a big falling out with a girl who was like family to me a few years ago. It took time, but eventually she saw that some of the things she did were insane, and I saw ways I could act differently. Its not the same now, we aren’t as close, but we were able to repair things to some extent. I hope your friend wakes up and realizes that she has pushed away a dozen of her closest friends and the problem is HER not the group of friends.

Post # 12
Member
4415 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think you need to call your friend. You can’t assume that she no longer wants to be your friend based on an email she wrote to someone else.  You two have been through a lot together, so you should find out for sure from her. It may be that your friendship has run it’s course, and that it’s time to move on, but with your wedding plans in the mix, you should find out so you’re both on the same page.

 

Post # 14
Member
4415 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@madymommy24:  I can understand that. I’m not suggesting that you try to mend fences if it’s not in your heart to do so. However, I would confirm that she is not planning on being part of your wedding or tell her that you don’t want her to be a part of your wedding so she doesn’t show up the day of in her bridesmaid gown expecting to be your Maid/Matron of Honor and create a scene on your big day.  

You have a few months before your wedding, so it doesn’t have to be right now, but just for your own piece of mind, you should make sure there aren’t going to be any surprises on your wedding day. 

Post # 15
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

What an awful scene! I’m so sorry! Yeah, in your own time, when you can handle yourself in a way that you can respect, but let her know she is politely dismissed. What a piece of work.

Post # 16
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@madymommy24: Im so sorry this has happen to you. I think that your right…. It is a like a break up and it will hit you like that but from the way it sounds, you dont need anyone like that in your life. I had to let a friend go after 11 years of friendship because she was more concerned with bashing every man in t he world (including mines) because one man did her wrong and I just could not do it anymore. The worse part is she somehow felt the need to blame EVERYONE except herself and her actions…. Good Luck

The topic ‘Lost my best friend / MOH… very long…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors