- 7 years ago
So i could make this post really long….but I wont. I grew up with 11 amazing friends. We are all still so close but within the group we all had a best friend. Mine has been my best friend sicne I was 13. We told eachother in 8th grade we would be eachothers Maid of honors. We are two total opposite people but we always kind of balanced eachother out. We have been through so much together. I had a baby and started to settle down, as well as some of our other friends. She seems sincerely happy for me and she has been so excited for me for everything. She has been talking about how beautiful everythign is going to be, how much fun well have, etc…
Anyways, we went away this weekend for my friends bachelorette party. It was so much fun.. we got a resort and then went out. We were having a blast!! We went home kind of early though because the Bride got pretty drunk pretty quickly and we figured we would just go back to the resort and all hangout there. Well she didnt want to go back, she invited one of her friends that nobody knew back to our resort, which upset a lot of the girls. She knew this girl from when she used to live in that town and called her and told her to come meet up with us. We all took a taxi out and on the way back, she got into her friends car that none of us knew and asked me to come with her. She wasnt ready to go home so she was hoping that the bride would soon pass out and then we could all go out again and her friend would drive. I said absolutley not, this night is for the bachelorette and we are all going to hangout at the resort and it will still be a blast. So now she brings her friend back to our resort that we all paid for and still has no introduced her to any of us. . Our other friend says ” So are you going to introduce your friend to any of us.’ And she was like ” Sorry, this is my best friend Susie” Im standing right there and Im like umm okay this is her best friend? Hmm.. whatever.
So then we hear them talking about how they cant believe we paid $60 to stay in this resort. First off, it was like close to $200 but we all had to only pay $15. Im like are they really talking crap right now? Who is this random girl and why does she think she has a right to talk crap while she is intruding in our party!! So anyways, my best friend, Ill call Linday, starts dancing and starting to get a little crazy but thats just how she is so we didnt think anything of it. Nothing wrong with dancing, just gotta be careful when your on property that doesnt belong to you to try not to break anything. She ends up picking up one of my friends….I think was trying to dance but picked her up from her calves and slammed her head into the wall. She was on the ground when I walked in and seriously looked really hurt. Linsday and her “best friend”, Susie are laughing hysterically. Our friend is still on the floor and I think she is unconscious. Being the motherly type I am I get all serious and tell them to stop laughing, she was seriously so hurt! Our friend gets up, she is trying to say she is okay but she has tears in her eyes and wants to just go lay down. I ask her to try to stay awake just in case she has a concusion. She wanted to just go downstairs and sit in her room because it was so noisy..so she goes. I give her a couple minutes and I want to go check on her so as I walk by the kitchen were Susie and Lindsay are talking about how everybody is mad because Katy is hurt I hear ” Are you seriously mad at me too’ I turn around and Im like ” No, I want to go check on Katy. She really looked hurt and she was trying not to cry.” So I walk away and I hear her say somethign to her friend. I walk back to the kitchen and I dont even remember what I said but I made it obvious that she was being rude and had no reason to start with me.
Just to give you a background, Lindsay has seriously been through so much wtih me. I have always been by hers as well and I have tried to help her with everything!! She has been through some crap, and I never once turne dmy back on her. Some of the other girls would comment on how crazy she is and how shes just out of control, and I have always stuck up for her. So to hear her trying to start with me really caught me off guard.
Anywyas, I go to check on my friend downstairs and she is okay. She wants to go lay down and wants to close the door to the room so she moves Lindsays overnight bag into the hallway so she doesnt have to go in the room to get it. Well Lindsay comes downstairs and sees her stuff in the hallway and starts banging on the door. The rest of us 12 girls are in another room and we hear her banging and were like ” Ohhh no!” So Katy opens the door and Lindsay just loses it. Our other friend got involved and things were getting ugly. Now Linsdays bff starts getting involved. If anybody has ever been able to talk sense into Lindsay it was me. I shouldnt have gotten involved but Ive always been the one to stop fights and get int he middle of them haha.. I can get pretty mad. So now lindsay, katy and my other friend are all screaming saying horrible things to eachother. Our one friend told Linsday that she ruins everyones parties ( there is always some sort of drama ). The girl who said it had a lot of built up anger from her own bachelorette party when the same type of thing happened so I think it just all came out. Then Lindsay screams out somethign personal about Jenn and calls her all of these names. So now she has aired some of her dirty laundry that only a couple people knew andyou could just hear the room of girls like gasp when she said it. so I get in the middle and I am screaming ” Stop!!” I tell everyone to just shut up before you regret anything else said in the morning. Then Susie is trying to get involved and I tell her to get out. I get Lindsay in the bathroom and I am like ‘ You need to stop, you need to realize how you are treating people and how you bring this random girl to our friends party, you insulted all of our friends, you never aplogized for hurting our friend, not only did you not go to check on her but you were laughing at her with your friend, youve insulted the room that all of us bridesmaids worked so hard on getting, you still havent paid your share, you left us to ride back with this random girl who is now your bff but yet ive never heard of her.” I explained Jenn is still upset from her own bachelorette party and she still never apologized for what she did then. So then she looks em dead in the eyes and screams ” You never have my back and your never there fo me” Ohhhhhhh god did things get crazy. I couldnt hold it in, I lost it. I absolutley flipped out. The girls said they thought somebody else came into the resort because they didnt recgonize my voice because I was screaming so loud andj just didnt sound like myself. Ive been mad before, I get mad…but never this mad. I just start spitting out all these feelings and telling her how dare she ever say I am not there for her. When i was 8 months oregnant and she got stranded in her car I went and picked her up int he middle of the night, when all the girls turned their back on her from Jensn bachelorette party I tried to mend things and help her. I cant even write how much I haev done for her. So I just went nuts.
Well this all lasted for like an hour maybe two and then she left with her “best friend”. She rode down there with us too so I dont even know how she got home. She said the most hurtful things you can say to us and she said personal attacks to really hit deep with it. Shes done this before to other people, but never me. She knows I am not one to keep my feelings in and I express when I am mad so she had to know after saying that I would start yelling. I calmed down after a while and the girls made sure I was okay. Its hard fighting with somebody who you considered a sister for 13 years. I was like yeah, it is what it is! They all were like shell realize in the morning what she said. However, I knew she wouldnt. She turns the blame on other people.
Sure enough, the next day arrives and …… nothing. We have no idea how she is getting home ( we live an hour away ). She never called to apologize or anything. Im thinking how in the world can you tell somebody that has been there fo ryou for everything and has tried to help you through everything that they are never there for you. So out other friend writes her a long email when we get home and she was like we have noticed you have been chanign lately, are you okay? We know you have been through so much but you really should apologize. Your friends are everythign you have you dont want to burn all your bridges with all of the girls blah blah. She then got a little harsh and proceeded to tell her everythign wrong she did that night. She was like maybe she didn tremember so maybe if she sees it written out she can be like oh my god I said that!
Well, she responded with ” I dont think I can be friends with any of you anymore and I think we just dont get along” there was more to it but that was the jist of it. the girl who wrote the email was like ” Do you realize what you said to the person who has been through everything with you?” And she just replies with ” I have been there fo rhe rtoo” ok…very well, thats why I would never in a million years say that you werent. Its like she is tryign to justify everything.
I was totally fine with all of this but it just recently hit me. I almost feel like I just broke up with somebody. She has been such a huge part of my life. Come to find out though, she told me she ordered her dress for the wedding and she was joking with our other friends that she never paid for it yet. My other BM’s told me that she has never responded to any of the emails or has done anything for my wedding. I guess they have a group email going around to keep in contact with eachother and Lindsay has responded once so she is receiving them but she is just too busy with going out or whatever.
When I made an appt for hr to go try on the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I offered to drive her and I told her to be at my house at 9. She didnt show up till 10 because she went out with her other friends the night before and got drunk and slept through the alarm. She never called or anything to tell me she was late. I was a second away from calling and cancelling the appt. and she called and was like Ill be right there!!
Anyways, we havent talked. And right now I really dont feel like I should reach out to her. I am usually quick to apologize if I feel I am in the wrong, I have no problem admitting when I am wrong or apologhizing. However, I truly fee like I had every right to get upset. I may have screamed a lot more than I should have but she was screaming right back so of course I am going to get louder.
So now I guess since she said she doesnt think she cna be friends with anyone I am to assume she is not only going to not be my Maid/Matron of Honor but not coming to my wedding. I truly dont expect her to apologize. She is playin gthe victim card and posting stupid stuff on facebook so people are feeling bad for her.. Which by the way, irritates the me so bad! I always think how dumb it is when people put statuses to try to get people to feel bad for them.
It all did hit me last night though and I did start to cry. I was trying to sleep because I had to be up at 430am for work but I couldnt. My Fiance came in and he was like, you can only help somebody so much. I have an awesome group of friends, so I still have plenty of good girlfriends, but it just didnt feel real.
My next question is, is it okay not to have a maid of honor? I love all of my Bridesmaids and I could be totally okay with my one friend stepping up being my Maid/Matron of Honor but I dont want her to feel like she is the 2nd best. I kind of feel like that is rude. So I was thinkign just only having 4 bridesmaids, or should I have 4 maid of honors? haha…
Woah this is long, felt good to write out though!