Post # 1
Well where do I start? about 4 months ago my Maid/Matron of Honor informed me that because of her husbands job sh would be moving about 10 hours away. At that time she gave me the option that she could remain my Maid/Matron of Honor from a distance or I could choose not to have her in the wedding. I chose to keep her thinking it would be ok as long as she was able to return for the wedding day.
For the past 2 months I had not be able to reach her, and was starting to worry as all of my maid needed to order thier dresses soon. When I finally got in touch with her she said things had been crazy since the move and she would get back to me sometime after the new year. This did not at all help my stress level.
Today I was finally able too speak to her at length and what is came down to was that with the move, amongst other unforseen circumstances, she had burned through all of her leave time. Also her husband was going to be totally unreachable for the next year during training. With all that said she completely stepped down from being in the wedding and may not even be able to attend.
So fellow Bees here I am 5 months away from my wedding with no Maid/Matron of Honor, and even feeling as though I just lost a very good friend. I only had 4 bridesmaids to begin with, two were friends and then my fiances sister and niece. Everyone is telling me to just step everyone else up and let my other friend be my Maid/Matron of Honor, but I know she does not really have time for such things and it would only be a title. Please help me out ladies, as I am very confused by the whole thing.
Post # 3
That really sucks about your friend. =( Hopefully she can at least make the wedding!
I wouldn’t worry about finding a new Maid/Matron of Honor or Bridesmaid or Best Man – you don’t want anyone to feel like a replacement. You will need to designate a witness though. Maybe your Future Sister-In-Law or your other friend could do that.
As far as showers or bachelorettes go, I would just inform your other BMs of the situation and let them figure out what they want to do. While traditionally the Maid/Matron of Honor hosts those events, she doesn’t have exclusive rights to it. Anyone can through you a shower or bachelorette party!
Post # 4
That was exactly what I was thinking that I should not appoint a new Maid/Matron of Honor, but all the family and even the Fiance is telling me to just give one of the other bridesmaids that title. At this point I’m not so much worried witha shower, as we weren’t planning on doing one anyway. And as far as a bachlorette party go I am not so concerned. It is just very depressing as all the planning to this point was going so smoothly. Well at least it is now rather than even closer to the wedding.
Post # 5
UPDATE: So my other friend did step up as Maid/Matron of Honor and has been helping me with my stress levels. On another note my previous Maid/Matron of Honor, who claimed she had no leave time left and for that reason would be unable to come to my wedding, has been posting on facebook about upcoming trips…to Vegas, the beach, skydiving trips, and a cruise. Given the circumstances and am inclined to believe that she has lied to me completely and was possibly never really my friend at all. Unfortunately as my fiance says I am way to trusting and forgiving, but this time I think I’m just going to cut my losses and remove her from my life, I do not need people who lie to me cluttering up my already chaotic life.